Others in our lives

I continue to be fascinated by childhood and its several facets and learning experiences. It provides a new understanding about the way new experiences are learned by infants from their environment. 

Let me share one observation. This infant is moving on his four limbs and is reaching out with his right hand to hold a moving toy in front of him. The process starts by noticing the object, reaching out, holding it and the child being guided to move in the direction of the toy by the care provider.

The two influences upon an infant for development is nature and nurture. A child is inherently endowed with capacity to progress developmentally, even when there are some limitations in the developmental process due to a neurological insult. This 'urge' for a new born to hold neck, roll over, sit, stand, walk, see, hear, speak, socialise, etc. are programmed in different parts of the brain that there is a natural sequence in which all these develop.

However, all these can develop in a sequence only as much as the environment nurtures this process by affirming the efforts of a child, reciprocating the initiative and providing an interactive environment. This nurture is critical. seminal and defines the developmental sequences.

The approach of 'nature' and 'nurture' are well known historic foundations in child development.

Let me now try extending this to adulthood development. Anna and I are 'infants' in a new environment in Kerala and at the Medical School where we work.  We have an inherent 'instinct' to adapt to this place, opportunity and the academic setting. 

What has overwhelmed us is the 'nurture' we have received from the larger environment of this institution from people from all walks of life. Their smile, visits, help to set up a new department, enquiry about our well being, concern for our adaptation to life in Kerala where we are in professional practice for the first time, etc. make us feel that they provide what we need for our development and fruitfulness in this new setting. The domestic helpers who are part of my mother's support have also risen to the occasion to surround us with their attention. 

This illustrates the 'welcome' every person needs who are in transition or face a relocation. The host community needs  to make several initiatives to make a new person grow in  a sense of belonging. The neighbours have a responsibility to offer friendship in several practical ways. Our neighbour dropped in to check on us several times, which eased our anxiety about many things we were new to. One person introduced me to a corner shop, where we get coffee with a special flavour.    

We are all infants and toddlers irrespective of our chronological age needing care, attention and assistance. According to the tradition of Psychology of transactional analysis, there is a paradigm; 'ask for help, give help, withdraw help and refuse help' which suggests that this is the rhythm for meaningful social living.

The infant in the photo needed someone to stimulate his crawling; we need each other for our inner and outer movements.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)