Mirror viewers!

I knew that Bulbuls have an attraction towards mirrors to look at their reflections! I have had a close view of this last week.

I parked the car in the drive way of our cottage. When I returned to the drive away, I noticed these two Bulbuls having a gala time to their heart's content! I had no intention to interrupt it. It delayed me for fifteen minutes, till they on their own moved away. Since then I parked the car in the morning during the rest of the week hoping to see them back. I was disappointed. Perhaps the incessant rain was one reason ! 

It gave me a glimpse of what it is to enjoy what one does. 

There is a nervous pitch with which I work sometimes just because of the the next thing to be done. I sometimes find myself doing what I do, thinking of the next thing to be done. I find hat my attention is on the next task to be done rather than staying fully present to the task at hand.  

The delight of watching these birds, fully engaged in a small pleasure that they are fond of, oblivious of my presence in their vicinity reminded me of what I struggle with during my work! I carry a list of things to be done in my mind that I feel drawn to the next event even while still doing the thing that is at hand!

For me listening is one major part of my vocation! To listen one has to be fully present! On  Saturday, during an on line consultation, I had a family who talked even when I interrupted to bring them back to the issues related to the child! They still returned  to talk about things which were upon their mind, some of which were not directely connected to the needs of their child. Both husband and wife appeared distracted and scattered in their thinking. At the end of forty five minutes, I closed the conversation as it did not seem to lead us anywhere. 

I reflected on this conversation during the week end on a few occasions! I realised that it was the 12th on line consultation of the day and it was 7 pm. I was getting ready to close the day. There were two more families waiting for consultations ! I felt carried away by the need to have a closure of the day sooner than later! I knew from the conversation of forty five minutes that the situation which the family presented was too complex to be sorted out by an an-online conversation. It was a mixture of thoughts within me at the end of the day. 

When I was ready to leave the department around 8 pm, I realised that the door to the exit was closed. The security staff inadvertently closed the door without checking! It took another half an hour to get the security staff to open the door. 

On the way back home, I recalled the sight of the Bulbuls frolicking around the car mirror. They were present to delight themselves oblivious of what was around them. This form of focussed presence is what would make even a difficult experience bearable and not burdensome!

I regretted that I was drifting from this sense of presence towards the evening on that Saturday. It is not what others are or what they talk about which should be the reason for distraction or loss of patience! It is the inner readiness which helps to overcome difficult conversations or experiences. That inner readiness comes from creating pauses between tasks to return to be fully present to the consciousness of wellness which resides in our inmost being. It springs from an inner orientation towards God of comfort and hope! I did not take that pauses that I was used to! So the day ended with a sense of loss and disorder!

Life is for living fully! I feel that this journey to live fully is possible by practicing being present to oneself!

The Bulbuls were messengers for my recovery of hope!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)