A gift of friendship!

A family visited us six years back and spent an afternoon recalling many experiences we had in common during several years of friendship. 

We invited them to plant a sapling of custard apple in our garden, which since then has grown and is now bearing fruits. 

The tree and its fruits bring back memories of their visit. We had a mail from this family during this week, enquiring about our wellness during this pandemic season. That was yet another reminder of their kindness and regards. 

A family friend of ours from Brisbane lost their youngest son in an accident. We have been in touch with them a few times during this week. We feel immersed in sorrow as we think of them as their son was an all rounder and was liked by all for his kind and caring ways. His grandparents whom we know for several years who live in the same city are drowned in sadness and sense of loss. 

What shall last are memories and tokens of them that live with us. Just as the custard apple is a 

reminder of a thirty-five years old friendship for us, there would be similar tokens for most of us when we think of friendships !

I have pondered over friendships a lot in the recent months. One experience that I cherish, when I think of  the way friendships deepen are memories of conversations and discoveries. 

After the planting of the custard apple, our friends shared how they have been involved in the formative processes of two institutions with which they were associated. They unburdened themselves recalling the pleasant and difficult times in this process. We felt their joy and pain as they shared their story and relationships. We felt drawn towards them and parted with a new awareness of the gift of friendship. 

Our stories have meaning for us. Our stories can be edifying and instructional to others. We do not live our lives alone. We live in the company of others. It is therefore a story of shared experiences which we shall discover from each other which help us to stay involved and connected with others.

In a conversation with an administrator yesterday, he clarified for me something related to work. It stopped there. I too sometimes behave similarly. There is a story beyond the obvious and the superficial in each of us. What is in the surface is not always the real or the whole  just as the turbulent sea is still ten feet below.

Our longing in friendships ought to be, to connect with what is underneath. It is this which takes us to relate with others at a heart level of trust and acceptance. 

Each of us has something to offer to others who are friends or companions! Our sorrows or delights can be a gift to others. We are gift givers to each other to build deepening relationships. 

Even when there are strains in friendships, the way forward is to bring our gifts to each other!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)