The face of Cloud

 

During a short period of just one minute, I noticed the the cloud changing in its appearance, and form.

Yesterday, I had a difficult conversation with a friend on phone. It started of well. But it ended up not so well as I reacted to an idea in an impolite way. I felt he wanted a ratification of his thought. He did not create space for another view on his thought. I pressed him to hear me out. He was not ready for it. There was an abrupt end of the conversation. Although both of us spoke to each other and exchanged messages later in the evening, the heaviness of hurt feeling was evident in the conversation. 

It was helpful to watch the clouds in the evening in the light of this. What changes the cloud formation! It is the humidity, temperature, air movement, etc. 

What regulates our conversations! Our impressions, perspectives or pre-existing thoughts. When I listen to an idea, If I were to view it from an earlier understanding, I shall surely fall into the trap of argument, which is what happened to me yesterday. A dialogue was what my friend sought after. But due to my pre-existing impressions about his thought process, I could not allow him to present his view point in the way it was developing in his mind. 

When a person reaches out to talk, it is likely that he is only wanting to be heard and  necessarily ready for anything else. I failed to be a listener. I forced my thoughts on him. 

The cloud offers no resistance when it has to change. Why is that I fail to modulate my openness to others when they come with their plan, perspective or opinion! They are not even seeking a sounding board, but a gentle listener. I violated this human need the other day leaving my friend unsettled. 

It is difficult to relate to others at the level of their need. To know and sense the need of a person who reaches out in conversation is a good habit to cultivate. To offend a caller is unfairness, however 'silly' that person might sound with his or her idea. 

I felt that when we have strong opinions and want to impose that on others, we do not reach beyond an argument. In being a listener, it is important to respect the person even when we feel like differing with his or her thinking or ideas. It is here I feel I failed. I disrespected his idea and bordered on to disrespecting him! My apology did not seem to have restored openness.

So I come back to myself! Is my opinion that matters or receiving others as they are! 

In this case, it so happened, that I was already struggling with a fear that the idea that my friend proposed was disrupting communication between people. I felt inclined to alert him about it. That was perhaps the last response he expected. He needed a gentle and consoling approach. 

All conversations are for social acceptance and not necessarily for brain storming. I wish I had behaved with this consciousness!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)