Anna and I celebrated our thirty eighth wedding anniversary day listening and reflecting, while driving back from Pondicherry, after attending the alumni meeting of her class. We reflected on the different seasons in our marriage. We discovered seven seasons. This was refreshing and encouraging.
The first was the season of preparation, deciding to go through life together. Both of us hailed from different backgrounds, but felt drawn towards each other due to our common interest to be pilgrims on a faith journey. There were difficulties, but they strengthened our resolve to wait to be united in marriage.
The second season was a time of making a choice about our vocation in our professional pursuit, which led us to start the services for children with special needs through Ashirvad. This was both, a time of unsettlement and finding direction, through which we discovered a new meaning in our togetherness and communication.
The third season was a period of formation spiritually, emotionally and relationally. This became an ongoing experience facilitated through some spiritual disciplines we were introduced to, such as meditation of the scripture and contemplative prayer. It was also a time of major changes and transitions in our lives with children entering their adolescence, relocation at Vellore, needy situation of parents and work related demands. We leaned on to each other even more during this season.
The fourth season was growing in intimacy, trust and mutual dependence. We were enabled by marriage enrichment seminars, life revision seminars and the accompaniment of senior friends. These experiences led us to discover a mission for our common journey in life. We began to be more comfortable to relate to couples and families and to accompany them during seasons of their unsettlement or turbulence. Our home became a meeting point for many who needed listening ears.
The fifth season was finding a sense of belonging with the wider community of people on the faith journey. This led us to get involved with some organisations and institutions to understand their mission and governance. Both of us developed a new insight about the need of building relationships as a means to share the experiences of our lives. It was during this season we wrote articles, books, etc to give an expression of our understanding of family, parenting, calling, spirituality, etc.
The sixth season was a period of celebration. The marriages of our sons, welcoming their spouses, and receiving and giving gifts of love made us feel that it was the occasion to go beyond ourselves to feel connected with people of similar calling in life. It became an occasion to recollect, reflect and reaching out to people in formative accompaniment. There was also a need to withdraw from wider involvements and frequent travels to create more family times and set apart times for personal retreats.
The seventh season, which is the current season, is a time of preparing ourselves for a season of creative consolidation and convergence of our shared journey. We are exercised about the stressful experiences that many families suffer from and we keep wondering how we can become contextual to their situations. The pursuit of the theme of health, healing and wholeness is emerging as a calling. We sense its various dimensions and are waiting for an opportune way to express our insights.
The initial years in marriage were times of becoming familiar with each other's temperament, behaviour, actions and reactions. There were instances when we disagreed and accommodated each other. As we grew in intimacy, we listened to each other better and attentively to understand the differences and did not have to stay angry or withdraw. Our differences in views or behaviour or choices did not become difficulties, but a means of enlarging the mosaic of our repertoire of resources within marriage and turning them to be our strengths. In the recent years we have had even more enlarging common ground of acceptance, affirmation and trust.
Anna enveloped me with her spontaneous love and this kindled in me growing love for her.
Our conversation of summarising our personal reflections on marriage spread over four hours during the car journey. We felt ministered to as we listened and shared.
When we reached my mother's cottage, a bunch of rose flowers were waiting to greet us. The photo in this blog is of that of those flowers. They added more joy of the occasion.
M.C.Mathew(photo and text)
The first was the season of preparation, deciding to go through life together. Both of us hailed from different backgrounds, but felt drawn towards each other due to our common interest to be pilgrims on a faith journey. There were difficulties, but they strengthened our resolve to wait to be united in marriage.
The second season was a time of making a choice about our vocation in our professional pursuit, which led us to start the services for children with special needs through Ashirvad. This was both, a time of unsettlement and finding direction, through which we discovered a new meaning in our togetherness and communication.
The third season was a period of formation spiritually, emotionally and relationally. This became an ongoing experience facilitated through some spiritual disciplines we were introduced to, such as meditation of the scripture and contemplative prayer. It was also a time of major changes and transitions in our lives with children entering their adolescence, relocation at Vellore, needy situation of parents and work related demands. We leaned on to each other even more during this season.
The fourth season was growing in intimacy, trust and mutual dependence. We were enabled by marriage enrichment seminars, life revision seminars and the accompaniment of senior friends. These experiences led us to discover a mission for our common journey in life. We began to be more comfortable to relate to couples and families and to accompany them during seasons of their unsettlement or turbulence. Our home became a meeting point for many who needed listening ears.
The fifth season was finding a sense of belonging with the wider community of people on the faith journey. This led us to get involved with some organisations and institutions to understand their mission and governance. Both of us developed a new insight about the need of building relationships as a means to share the experiences of our lives. It was during this season we wrote articles, books, etc to give an expression of our understanding of family, parenting, calling, spirituality, etc.
The sixth season was a period of celebration. The marriages of our sons, welcoming their spouses, and receiving and giving gifts of love made us feel that it was the occasion to go beyond ourselves to feel connected with people of similar calling in life. It became an occasion to recollect, reflect and reaching out to people in formative accompaniment. There was also a need to withdraw from wider involvements and frequent travels to create more family times and set apart times for personal retreats.
The seventh season, which is the current season, is a time of preparing ourselves for a season of creative consolidation and convergence of our shared journey. We are exercised about the stressful experiences that many families suffer from and we keep wondering how we can become contextual to their situations. The pursuit of the theme of health, healing and wholeness is emerging as a calling. We sense its various dimensions and are waiting for an opportune way to express our insights.
The initial years in marriage were times of becoming familiar with each other's temperament, behaviour, actions and reactions. There were instances when we disagreed and accommodated each other. As we grew in intimacy, we listened to each other better and attentively to understand the differences and did not have to stay angry or withdraw. Our differences in views or behaviour or choices did not become difficulties, but a means of enlarging the mosaic of our repertoire of resources within marriage and turning them to be our strengths. In the recent years we have had even more enlarging common ground of acceptance, affirmation and trust.
Anna enveloped me with her spontaneous love and this kindled in me growing love for her.
Our conversation of summarising our personal reflections on marriage spread over four hours during the car journey. We felt ministered to as we listened and shared.
When we reached my mother's cottage, a bunch of rose flowers were waiting to greet us. The photo in this blog is of that of those flowers. They added more joy of the occasion.
M.C.Mathew(photo and text)
Happy wedding anniversary Uncle n Aunty. God bless you.
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