The three special A's

Anna has developed a special bonding with Amy and Aswathy since they came in to our life. Amy and Aswathy have become Anna's confidants and consultants. It is a delight to watch this relationship grow and unfold. The telephone calls have become longer and subjects covered wider. There is warmth and trust which is spontaneous and endearing.

Anna's efforts to think inclusively about Amy and Aswathy and their husbands is most touching. 

If it is during shopping, I hear her  say, 'Oh, that is good for Amy and  Aswathy'. During an outing to a nice place or restaurant, she would say, ' I wish children were here'. When we travel in the car during our long journeys, it is common for Anna to recall something special and refreshing about Amy and Aswathy. I have sensed Anna's mother's instinct moving her to relate, affirm and care. This has been a lesson for me to be more gracious towards Arpit and Anandit.

I am touched the way Anna prepares to welcome both the families when they visit us. She knows each person's taste and favourite cuisine. She would make effort to make the visit special for them. I like the way she would convey affection and appreciation to Amy and and Aswathy during such occasions by involving them.  

I realize that an extended family is born as much as the newly arrived spouses after marriage are welcomed with openness and appreciation. I comment Anna for taking the lead and priming me into being inclusive in my thinking. 

We need to bless and let our children 'go' after marriage and we need to 'bring in' their spouses creatively. This is a paradox.  And yet it is central to the understanding the foundations of  extended family formation. 

Many of us would err and slip, but the key to renewed relationship is to be open to receive and quick to forgive. Anna has been an example for me in this leaning journey. I grew up without a brother or sister.  I have new domains to cover in experiencing the dynamics of relationships.

As I write this, Delphine is at my feet. She seems to invite me to play with her. It is also an invitation symbolically to move on in the journey of intimacy within the family.

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)