Parenting or caring

I am currently gathering information about the full time availability of one parent at home, till a child joins pre-school at three years of age. Out of 250 families whom I interviewed, only 22 families were able to offer this privilege to children till three years of age.

Something terribly disturbing is emerging form this informal survey. About thirty two percent of  children in the first three years grew up with grand parents, relatives of parents, or one of the parents while the other parent is regularly working elsewhere with only infrequent meetings with the child or care givers, who changed frequently.

Although there are provisions in the corporate sector, in the central government and state government services to get six months to one year of half paid leave for the permanent employees, only two out of fifty six  eligible parents this opted for this  facility.

The first three years are the formative years for social, emotional and behavioural development of children when interaction coupled with value based non formal learning contribute to the conduct and character formation of pre-school children. But in many instances, parents are relatively absent in the lives of their children. However good and caring the substitute parenting may be, there is a void children would grow up with. The qualities of trust, intimacy, affect and playful communication with parents in the early years of a child provide an emotional bonding that binds the children to parents in a loving and affirming relationship.  

I wonder what would become of this generation of pre-school children emotionally, socially and beahviourally when their relationships in the early years have been fragile and tentative! Any deprivation of loving relationships in the early years is known to disturb the children emotionally in the  later years.

I wish parenting of children in the first three years would receive more dedicated attention of parents. Children are the only assets of parents. The rest are only achievements which would fade away with time. Our children are the links in the godly heritage we have inherited. Young children need reverential attention, for God entrusted them to us for their stewardship! They are ours by birth, but God's because they are called into being by God.

All children receive caring. Do all young children receive parenting!

M.C Mathew (text and photo)