Giving and Receiving

I have also wondered about making, giving and receiving gifts more rational. It is an important expression of thoughtfulness in social relationships. However, it is a wastage of resources if the receiver finds no use for the gift.

Let me suggest three practical ways of viewing gifts with pragmatism.

We give gifts to express our appreciation and affirmation of a person. What if you state that in a self made artistic greeting card! The receiver will read and re-read and would be touched by our act of kindness. It is better than telephoning or sending a SMS or a mail. A greeting card especially hand made carries a message of efforts taken to convey the feelings of appreciation or commendation. Even if only a bar of chocolate accompanies the card it becomes a significant gift. The card would get displayed in the bulletin board at home or stay in a prominent place for a long time. A greeting becomes a means for an emotional bonding.

Most people, whom we would want to give gifts are known to us. We would be familiar with their needs and interests. It is therefore easier to find something they would need or use. However it is necessary to avoid expensive gifts as it can make the receiver feel embarrassed. Also, expensive gifts would make the receiver feel obliged and would feel compelled to reciprocate. Then the giving and receiving can become even a competitive activity. This defeats the spirit of love and regard, which should alone be the factor that is behind giving and receiving. After all a gift is only  symbol of the thoughtfulness. So its cost is less important and the thought behind is what stays on to build a relationship.

It is when we make the gift symbols and not objects of our status, we can make gifts more inspirational. Most people would give gifts of value to people in need. I feel moved by some people whom I know would save on an expensive meal or holiday to offer that money saved toward the tuition fees of a child, who would have struggled to continue education. There are many ways of practically helping families individually and collectively. The church we go to now, recently built a house for an extremely needy person from the contributions of the members. Let the gifts be given to those who would need it, to meet a pending and genuine need.

There are occasions when we would love to give a gift, which is a felt need of the other person. At other times the gifts are symbols of our regard and love in which case a greeting card and  something small in kind as a token, is a better way of communicating our feeling. 

Giving and receive is a necessary link between people to build relationships. 

A gift if used to influence or seek favour or put pressure for receiving a consideration would become a bribe.   

Freely we have received, and we are called to give freely. This is how we share love with those who would go deprived otherwise. Find a stranger, to whom we can give a gift that would lessen his or her burden.       

  M.C.Mathew(text and photo)