Burdened Mothers

I have across many mothers who recently spoke openly about their distressing experiences of having to accept responsibility for their home single handedly.

Their husbands return home tired and plunge into viewing TV. Some come back home drunk to push the panic button of quarrel, abuse and violence. Some disappear behind their desk to continue their job on the computer or telephoning or entertaining business visitors. There are some who demand to be taken care of while the wife is struggling to complete cooking, attend to the home work of the children and    get the clothes ironed and school bags ready for the next day. Some mothers have the responsibility of having to take care of the elderly parents, which consume time. There are families where the father is travelling even up to 20 days in a month, on account of work, leaving the mother responsible to hold the domestic front intact. I have come across less than 25 percent of families in the last four months talking about their home front with ease and comfort.

What has disturbed me most is when husbands are normally absent from home and come home once or twice a year for a few days and try reestablishing the 'control', which makes it almost intimidating for the mother. He would insist on another routine for children often indulging into fulfilling all their fancies to compensate for his prolonged absence, violating the norms and values the mother was trying to establish for children. A father bought a play station and a home theatre for the teenage children, without consulting the mother, which ended up in a quarrel that could not be resolved even after the father left after the holidays.

Mothers, who now-a-days choose to work outside the home for emotional or financial reasons are burdened and I suspect that they are silently 'bearing' the burdens due to their self giving instinct. 

I wish husbands and fathers consider to revise their role and function at home! What if husbands take the responsibility to wash up after dinner, help in making breakfast, getting children ready to school, iron clothes for the family, dedicate at least three days in a week to be present at home to participate in family chores and activities to enhance bonding and intimacy! With the domestic help not available to many homes, men have a larger responsibility for house keeping. A big thank you and a hug to his wife  is the least that a husband should offer every day, before going to bed! 

Women are more tired, anaemic, erratic in eating and resting and sleep lesser hours than men. Men ought to be more involved in family life by their presence and participation!

I wish husbands and children can celebrate once a month a 'Mother's evening' at home by waiting on her in  a special way so that she feels elated with acts of kindness lavished on her, by every member of the family!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)