Memories are formative

This photo represents the facial gesture of a nine month old infant who is about to mouth his hands. I was captivated by the pleasure of  the anticipated self indulgence, this baby communicated for a few seconds on his face. With the mouth wide open and the hands about to reach the moth, there is a mischevious delight on his face.

Do infants at this age retain the memory of an earlier experience! This delightful expression suggests so. 

If it is so, there is a need to engage  parents to help them to communicate to infants soberly, lovingly, affirmingly and intimately. 

I have had three children brought for consultation recently, for some adverse effects following physical injury they suffered during infancy, due to angry outbursts of care givers. It is the first time in my clinical practice, I come across undisputed evidence of 'battered baby' state. I consulted senior and junior colleagues to confirm if this happens where I work now. They suggested that parental behaviour towards infants is changing as most parents go through stressful times. When a baby cries incessantly and both or one of the parents have had a difficult experience at home or work, it is not 'uncommon' to pinch or slap a baby. This has shocked me.

There is a need to bring the focus back to the psycho-social behaviour of infants. Their memories of experiences of first year of life are long lasting. A baby responds to affectionate ways of interaction with equal or more reciprocity. All the infantile experiences are first time experiences. We can prime an infant to have a happy or anxious predisposition depending on how and what we convey.

An eighteen months old baby is used to crying desperately when she watches a dog physically or in pictures. While probing into the past experiences, the mother confessed that, she used to frighten her daughter when she was hesitant to eat, by casually saying to her that the 'neighbour's dog would bite if she did not eat well'. This has stuck with her and any sight or mention of a dog provokes her into crying. 

Let us fill the lives of our infants with as many pleasant and affectionate experiences as possible. Not that we can eliminate painful events, but we can protect infants from being victims of our anger, irritation or impatience.

Parenting of infants (children under one year of age) needs further understanding and responsive action from all of us. They will become what we envision them to be!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)