Reciprocal presence !

The four photos of flowers above, in our garden are in advanced stages of their growing presence. 

I have watched these flowers each day during the week and noticed changes in the hues of colours in the petals. Th petals show early sign of withering. 

The presence of the flowers invited me to become present to them. This form of reciprocal presence has some significance. The flowers cannot feel my presence. But I can see, smell and feel their presence. The silent presence of the flowers in a garden makes the garden colourful. 

It is when I take notice of them and feel drawn by their elegant presence, I value the gift of their presence. 

The Hibiscus flower and the buds below tell another story. There will be more flowers in the plant as the buds open! I can become present to what they shall become!

 

I receive occasional telephone calls from parents who feel strained by the experiences of not being able to be present to their children in a way that would  make the reciprocal presence meaningful. How much ever parents attempt to draw near to the pre-school child, child's interest is to use the mobile phone or watch cartoons in the TV. 

The flowers are present for a short time. 

The childhood is for a short time. Soon they will be teenagers and would move on beyond the orbit of parents. 

How can parents make the reciprocal presence, the ambience of relationship between children and parents, is a question parents need to consider!

The first five years before a child begins formal schooling would be the defining season to cultivate and promote reciprocal presence. The child being drawn towards the parents and the parents feeling drawn towards the child !

The golden period in child development is the pre-school season in the life of a child. It is the time to develop the attachment process between children and parents, which shall become the emotional link that stays on during late childhood. 

The early childhood would be the flowering years and the late childhood would be the fruitful years. 

I wonder why parents introduce mobile phone, cartoon viewing, and day care even from the first year of the child ! At that season of their life, what they need is an emotionally stable environment where parent-child interaction is intimate, consistent and cordial. It is this which would make a child to live fruitfully in the later years. I wish parents would use the longer periods of maternity and paternity leave available in most of the working places as a provision for promoting better parent-child relationship in the pre-school years!

I wish each home would have a child's corner, where the child and parent can spend time together, pursuing different interests of a child to promote interactive and participatory engagements between parents and child!

The flowers are in the garden for a short while. 

The early childhood is also for a short time!

How much we treasure early childhood as formative and foundational for future wellness of children and parenting fulfilment!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Buds, Flowers and Fruits !

I was fascinated yesterday by watching how the garden keeps its orderly rhythm adapting to different seasons of the year. 

It was when the Greater Coucal arrived at the blossoming tree, I realised that it came looking for caterpillar for its morning feed! A garden feeds the birds, and reptiles. 

The ecosystem surrounding flowering plants consist of bees, insects and sunbirds. 

The soil sustains the garden and garden feeds and provides. The Kitchen garden is our source of many vegetables for our meals. 

The garden is also the flight station for birds for their respite, during flight or while making a habitual stop. This King fisher is regular at this palm tree, when there is running water in the stream, waiting to spot movement of fish in the water. 

I felt enthused by these multiple sights while walking in the garden because the garden sustain life to flourish. It freely gives and nourishes. 

When the United States of America militarily abducted the Venezuela president and his wife yesterday, its eye is on its fossil oil, which according to America was explored for commercial use by American companies. The language of entitlement, aggression and domination is contrary to the language a garden offers with openness towards all and equal distribution of its resources for all. 

The last one hundred years offered a direction towards democracy, equality, fraternity and civility in human relationships and governance. Now the three polarised nations who seem to drift towards authoritarianism and dictatorial tendency are Russia, China and USA. A fourth country where  the departure in that direction is palpable is India. Bangladesh, Pakistan, Iran and Afghanistan are countries in a boil.   Russia is an invader with continuation of war in Ukraine for over a year; China is now eyeing to take observer Taiwan and the USA is threatening to follow similar path towards Greenland, Venezuela, and Nigeria. Israel's behaviour towards Palestinians for two years now, defies every norm of consideration towards neighbourhood.  

The earth belongs to the people who inhabit it globally. The nations are sovereign, formed for interdependent living! That relational dimension helped internationally to foster human belonging!

Now the value system is replaced by authority, control and domination because of wealth and economic power. 

While at a mobile phone show room yesterday in a multi-market chain store, I gathered that, its chain of shops are taken over by a big chain store company, which has its foot hold nationally. The three multi- markets in the town since this take over feel the impact with fall in their customers. 

I want to think that wealth creation and economic prosperity at the cost of others indicate a trend towards feudal mind set contrary to the democratic values!  that The honourable ethos of nations, that means ought to justify the end stands breached!

The enormous destruction of the Palestinian territory imposed by prolonged war by Israel on Gaza left it devastated with its gardens, farms, homes, schools, hospitals and public transport disappearing. It looks like that pain and hurts of others do not awaken the conscience.  In the story of the Good Samaritan in the New Testament of the Bible spoken by Jesus of Nazareth had two characters, a priest and a Levite, who passed by an injured man waylaid by robbers.   

I wish there will be an international pressure on all the nations who need a corrective path to restore freedom and fraternity in nations currently in distress!

The giving and feeding garden on one side and on the other side, some nations taking what belong to others by might, force or aggression!

I wish, that the year 2026 will be a year, which would bring conciliation to conflicts and cordiality between nations!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

From the outer to the inner !

The above photos of rose flowers depict different stages of a bud opening to be a flower. During the opening process the outer layers recede and the inner petals dominate the visible part of the  flower. The inner petals obscure the outer gradually. 

This is a paradox in life. We encounter greater expressibility of the external- what dress we wear, what brand of computer or phone we use, where we live, what vehicle we own, what salary we get, where do we go for holiday....! These matter a lot in an existentially oriented world. 

But the rose flower gives another message. The outer or the external gets covered by the inner. The inner petals of a rose flower obscure the outer as the flower opens fully. The outer was a cover for the inner. The inner presides over the outer.  

Th photos of the two rose flowers below reveal a confluence of the outer and the inner. As the flower is fully open there is an integration of the outer and inner, where the inner flourishes under the cover of the outer layers of petals.  

That becomes a message worth pondering upon! How do we use the conveniences of life to live our lives! Do we live pursuing more creature comfort and existential conveniences or we monitor them to be a healthy influence upon our lives to meet our needs and not promote our wants or wish list!

How I wish that the inner being of my life is the sacred treasure within, which influences my whole being ! 

I noticed a passage in the new testament of the Bible during my reading in the new year, which states this truth in a persuasive way : "And let not your adornment be merely external... but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God ( 1 Peter 3:3-4).

The inner being of our self in our 'earthen body' is the treasure that we are invited to esteem and nourish!

The two photos below of a spider in the centre of the flower caught my attention. When the inner of a flower is invaded, the flower suffers and has a shorter life or ceases to be fresh and fragrant.

In the second photo of the rose flower, it is evident that the outer petals were also partially consumed by insects. The flower shows sign of decay in the outer and inner petals. That becomes even more worrying. The fortress of security and comfort we create for ourselves carries vulnerability. The decay proceeds to vitiate our inner self disturbing the purpose and wellness in life!

It is when we invest to make the existential questions central- 'what we shall eat, what we shall put on or where we shall live', we make room for the inner self to grow corrupt with short sighted view of life! 

The two flowers below paused these questions to me. 

How refreshing it was to see the two flowers below with the outer and inner row of petals together making the flowers look complete and promising. 

The outer protects the inner. The inner radiates gracefully to offer the fullness that they were formed for!

The photo of the desert roses below left another message for me to consider. The inner hollow of the flower surrounded by the petals had a metaphorical message for me !

What stayed on with me, after  seeing the hollow inside the desert flowers was the imagery of a sanctuary, hidden by the petals. 

Yes, each of us has a sanctuary within ourselves. 

Jesu of Nazareth referred to this inner room in our lives, when He said: " .. when you pray, go into your inner room and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in secret and your Father who sees in secret will repay you" (Matthew 6:6). 

The inner room within is for prayer to experience visitation from God.That is what renews life.  

The life within takes precedence over the outer and the visible. 

The inner self, with a mind to think, heart to feel and soul to sense God's presence, is the true self  that  I am called to be!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Awareness as the inner ambience !

 

Flowers bring messages of flourish, fullness, fragrance, freshness, fragility, and feathery touch! 

They fall to the ground and return to the soil when their time for departure has arrived!

The temporariness of life is what they portray! While they flourish during their presence, bring a celebrant mood around them; they live pointing to the direction of their journey! It is during the shortness of their presence, the flowers share their exuberance! They appear for a purpose and fade away when that purpose was well expressed. 

That took me to dwell on the theme of purposeful  living !

The week before Christmas was a time when Anna and I felt the need to attend to the different green stretches between plants and trees in the garden. They used to be well kept without weeds and unwanted undergrowth. But we did not give adequate attention and we lost that refreshing look of the garden with weeds congesting the ground. It was during the restoration of the lawn stretches, we realised how the ground that was to offer healthy bed to plants and trees had been taken over by weeds. The ground normally fosters life and growth. But the ground began to feed the weeds. 

This allegory brought an inner dimension to focus on. It is inattentiveness that deranges the purpose of the ground. 

What is it which deranges the purpose in one's own life?

It is losing sight of value of life, the call of life, temporariness of life and the benevolence life can bring to others.  

What then leads us to live our lives purposefully beyond just attending to our existential aspirations? 

Let me quote a paragraph from the book, A Monk in the World- cultivating a spiritual life, by Wayne Teasdale to respond to the above question:  " Awareness as an enhanced consciousness and heightened sensitivity to others allows us to take in more of reality than many can manage. But while awareness can be overwhelming, in most cases, a person with subtle awareness becomes a healing, loving and compassionate being. He or  she is always looking for ways to respond to others and to assuage suffering. A person walking with awareness exudes a confidence that inspires and attracts others, who see. A presence flows through the aware person, a grace and humility, a holiness and love. People who are truly aware communicate the depth of their inner consciousness, their nearness to God or the Spirit, through their presence and their actions" (p 209).

Such a purpose of living becomes a vocation and motivation!

Flowers appear to fulfil a purpose till they fade away !

I ponder over this as the new year is before me !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Openness to receive !

The three rose bushes above during this flowering season indicate the transition to the flowering stages. The first two have fresh sprouting leaves and the third one has buds and flower!

Seeing them in the garden on the first day of 2026 brought thoughts of  the promise the year holds for us !

This picture calls us to wait in hope and in readiness !

The news of a fire accident in a winter resort in Switzerland killing many who gathered for new year celebration was a shocking start of the new year. The loss and grief bring despair !

The media, both the print and the digital bring to us news of pain and agony that people go through on account of crime, violence or unfairness. 

It is amidst this awful reality of turmoil, we receive the news of how Cambodia and Vietnam settled their border dispute peacefully before the year end of 2025. It involved negotiation and settlement which initially was a rigid position of both nations. 

All the three rose bushes above, sprang to the flowering stage after they were pruned three months ago. The plants overcome the physical 'hurt' inflicted on them at the time of pruning and returned to bring new life with better prospects. 

I re-read yesterday the first few chapters of the book, Go-Giver, by Bob Burg and John David Mann. The book tells the story of am ambitious young man, Joe who yearns for success. Joe is a go-getter. Having been desperate to get more business before the year end, Joe approached Pindar, a legendary consultant and life  him with to associate with few others coach. Pindar introduces Joe to a series of 'go-givers' by helping him to consider another way of living and working through the power of giving! "Joe learns that changing his focus from getting to giving-putting other's interests first and continually adding value to their lives-ultimately leads to unexpected returns"(from cover page). The book is a tale with grit and grace making an appeal to revise the way we live and relate. Others become a reason for our being and serving !

The world does not become a better place because there are go-givers! But the go-givers become a leaven in society to flavour the consciousness of people for a reference point to go by!

The popular response that I hear when I say 'Thank you' to someone who helped me, is 'no mention please', in the place where Anna and  I live currently. This baffled me. I wish that the acknowledgement indicated accepting my compliment in appreciation. I felt that my appreciation was not noticed or received. 

The authors of the book Go-Giver proposed the 'Law of receptivity', which suggests: "The key to effective giving is to stay open to receive" (p111) !

I like walking in the garden because the plants are quietly present where they are planted. They live feeding us oxygen, offering their foliage to shelter birds, supplying nitrogen to the soil with their dry leaves, and offer flowers and fruits to strangers lavishly! 

The year 2026 is a year of this option: getting or giving!

There is plenty we receive; what needs more attention is giving!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The nature's way of protecting !

The dew on the leaves tells us of the low temperature prevailing at night. I have been watching such appearance of plants for three weeks now in our garden. 

The leaves have an affinity for moisture, because of which they receive and retain the dew drops on the surface. 

Beyond the botanical intricacies for this phenomenon, what triggered in my mind is a thought about the even distribution of the tiny dew drops which coat the leaves. The dew drops would be ultra tiny and similar in size to form such an even covering of the leaves. There are some large dew drops which remain scattered but not confluent. 

I noticed that other rose bushes too have similar distribution of dew drops. That is when it made sense to me. There might be something on the surface of the rose leaves which allow the dew drops to form such an even distribution over the leaves. I did not observe such a phenomenon in most other plants. The dew forms a protective covering at night during this season when the diurnal variation of temperature is wide apart. The day time temperature soars to 32 degree celsius and the night temperature drops even below ten degrees. Such a wide spectrum of temperature does not occur during other seasons of the year. 

The process of condensation and guttation cause the dew formation on leaves of some plants in winter months. The rose bush would benefit from the dew as it provides hydration, thermal cooling and reduce the water loss through transpiration. The risks of damage by frost or interference with photosynthesis are high in a cloudy day with no sunlight. 

The soils hydrates and nourishes the plants in the garden. The atmospheric ambience adds its protective cover of dew to the leaves at night. 

The rose bush receives and flourishes to bear buds and flowers! That is the cycle of the life of plants!

It occurred to me that I too receive a lot during my daily life by way of good will, care, provisions, and friendships. They are blessings to make me thrive. Does giving therefore form the natural cycle of my being?

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

 

 

The different hues of 2025 and 2026!

The twin flowers in hues of red in our garden today morning, caught my attention!

It reminded me of the differences between the year 2025 and 2026!

The ageing flower on the left on the screen and the more recent flower on the right are in two hues of red, representing their biography.

No two year can be same. The memories of 2025 and the expectations of 2026 are two different experiences. 

One tendency is to view 2026 through the optic of harsh experiences of 2025. It is this that can freeze us in the past. 

The year ahead can bring to our lives experiences different from what we have been through! 

The readiness to turn 2026 to our advantage is within our domain. What is this readiness about!

With the day temperature soaring, the garden needs watering. Our domestic helper was engaged in creating channels for water to flow to every corner of the garden. When he pumped water this morning, it was a delight to see water flowing easily and copiously! The ground needed to be made ready to receive water!

The inner self of our life is the ground of our being. It is when we ready the inner self, the experience of wellness can flow into our lives. 

The inner self can be clouded by disappointment, grief, loss, anger, reaction or impaired hope. These memories are obstacles for wellness to abide within us. It is by acknowledging what really hurts or stalls us we can find the path beyond. It is a step by step movement from the entrapped memories towards finding a path of hope and prospects.  

I realise that such a movement to arrive at a level of comfort begins with forgiving oneself and others. It is an  exercise of turning to the next page of our biography, rather than staying in the same page which recorded hurts and disappointments. Why turn the page! Each breath we take oxygenates us. Every new step brings refreshing touch to our inner life. That itself is the reason to leave the hang overs of the past behind to welcome the new enlightening experiences! 

The colour of the flower on the right of the screen, which is a recent flower, carries a warm appeal! 

Let 2026 bring to us such as warm appeal !

The night was noisy as the village flooded with loud music and sounds of fire crackers well past mid night! The first feeling that I was conscious of, when I got up,  was an overwhelming feeling of delight to be at the threshold of year 2026 !

The year 2026 invites us, to turn it into a year of advantage for ourselves and others!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)