An engaging attitude !

It is when I walk by the rose bushes in our garden I feel intrigued by the richness and hues of colours they bring to the garden! A bud has  a fragrant flower hidden in it. Every bud is expression of the life it is given by the plant. Every flower represents its lineage. 

Parents of young children get confused by some behaviours of pre-school children. There is a cluster of behaviours which parents refer to as 'tantrums',

One family told me that their son was insistent to have corn flakes at supper time. He did not want to eat anything else and cried and howled. It was after a few days he settled down to eat other food as before. The parents were patient and watchful during the time. It was a few days ago the family bought the packet of the corn flakes. It was his first time experience of tasting corn flakes with milk and honey. He relished it. I felt good that the family did not brand his behaviour as tantrum, but tarried with him patiently. 

At three years, a child is still limited verbally to be descriptive of his feelings and thoughts. What was easy was crying. I felt good that his cry did not intimidate the parents. They reasoned with him that cornflakes was a breakfast cereal, which he came to terms with gradually. 

Who forms the behaviour of toddlers or pre-school children! I suspect that it is the impulsive responses of parents that becomes confrontational for a child. At that age no child wants to be a loser! So he puts up a fight to win or have his way! 

It is the wise parents who know this mood and behaviour of pre-school children and resort to an engaging attitude and avoid giving a child the feeling of being a loser! 

The parents in this instance allowed the child to have corn flakes at dinner time provided he would also have some of the usual food. That compromise worked well. After a week, his fancy for corn flakes had disappeared. 

The mood and behaviour of a pre-school child reflects the state of emotional and conversational ambience at home ! 

Parents influence children considerably from early childhood. The pre-school children tell the story of parenting practices at home!

M.C.Mathew ( text and photo)

Making a home child friendly!

One routine some Bulbuls practice is to have water play and wet their body in the morning. Then they groom and dry the body !

One interesting aspect of this routine is the playfulness they demonstrate. It is common to see the birds do this in turn when they are a pair. 

I found some of their rituals a way of finding pleasure in play!

During a parenting meeting I discovered that it is not common for parents to join in with children for indoor games in the evenings. In fact parents do not plan well to give exposure to multiple indoor games to their children. The laughter and fun such times produce bring a new level of bonding and openness. 

I do not find the practice of joint reading time in many homes. One parent told me recently that when children return from school, the question they ask the parents is about the reading time. The children long for it as it is a meaningful conversation time. As children listen to biographies or anecdotal experiences of people, they get animated and come up with questions and opinions. This parent who told me about the formative effect of the reading time on children, mentioned that the freedom to talk about many aspects of life at school or at home get naturally attended to during such times. 

The play and pleasure the Bulbuls experienced during their water play time brought the above conversations and observations to ponder upon!

The shift from existing in the adult's world to a child's world is necessary for parents when children are in the mid child when opinions, thoughts and choices begin to have a formative influence in their lives. 

Parents are not only pathfinders for their children but companions in the voyage of life. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A message of togetherness!

 

A Barbet joined a squirrel, and a Bulbul at the feeding station. Barbets are not sociable at the feeding station. 

The last photo is another Barbet watching this from a cable wondering whether to join or not. It did not join but flew away.

I spot interesting sights almost each day in the bird behaviour!

The garden space offers space for birds to be themselves and relational. 

The feeding table offers the invitation to be sociable towards each other!

The famous Salim Ali, the Orninthologist became bird friendly and later spent his life time describing bird behaviour following a terrible event in his childhood. Being from a hunting family and having had access to gun, he shot down a bird who had a yellow colour covering its neck. His uncle helped him to take the bird to the Bombay natural history museum, where the curator identified it as a rare sparrow. Salim was so disturbed by what he did that he dedicated his life to create nature parks to preserve bird life. 

I have few books of Salim Ali and visited a nature park named in his memory about forty kilometres away from our village beside a lake and dam. 

I have noticed that birds when offered a friendly environment, they surprise us by their gestures towards each other and even towards humans. 

A garden when made into a home for birds, they become hospitable and sociable!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A thriving plant!

The two photos of the same plant in our garden, taken after a week of the first one, tell a story of new blossoms in the second one and more to come!

A plant grows and bears flowers. That is its natural habit. 

It receives its nutrients from the soil and the sunshine promotes its photosynthesis. 

It had a stunted look for about two months when the day was cloudy and the rains hid the sunshine. 

The soaked soil during the rain and lack of sunshine impaired its growth and flowering. 

A conversation with a friend brought this message into focus. The conversation was about a person who finds the home environment stifling and reducing!

A  child is like a plant in a home waiting to thrive in a healthy environment! The interactive language of cordiality, accepting attitude and thoughtful acts of kindness promote emotional and social wealth of a child more so during the transition years from adolescence to becoming a young adult. 

As I listen to stories of dislocation in the process and sometimes watch the painful reaction of a young adult, I wonder if parenting relationship has suffered to be effective!

The news of a girl and boy disappearing a few days ago from our neighbourhood was a serious expression of the mistrust between parents and children. Although parents were able to trace them, the shock and pain it brought remain. 

A home offers a formative environment for transition from adolescence to adulthood. I wonder whether this is breaking down!

It is the young people who brought a change of political leadership in Nepal after a week of rioting and violence. 

The young aspirational generation is seeking for a change ! Is it possible that they are tired of the dichotomy of conduct and behaviour in their homes or society that they look for a change!

It is time to pause and reflect!

A plant blossoms when cared for!

I turn to our homes as being formative for adolescent children! I wish parents take time to  know their children and become path finders for them!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Reminder of Trapeze artist !

Although I notice the squirrels coming to the feeding table almost every day, it was only recently I became curious to observe their limb movements. 

They depend on the hind limbs to lift the body to move forward on a flat surface. While placing the forelimbs on the front, it lifts the hind limbs to lift and move forward the body, while it repositions the forelimbs ahead to repeat the movement cycle. 

While it has to climb, the forelimbs or the leading limbs receive the sensory input and guide to move the hind limbs to use the necessary force to climb. In the third photo above the hind limb is placed on the edge of the feeding table and squirrel lifts the body forward with the forelimbs assisting this process. 

The leading limbs while feeding are the forelimbs. 

As its body is horizontally designed and the ventral surface is in contact with the surface over which it moves, the four limbs do all the functions to give it strength during movements. 

The jumping that squirrels are used to between branches or trees are also limb dependent. They land with the limbs and stabilise the body on the surface as it lands. 

The acrobatic flair the squirrels have during the movements is graceful to watch. It has a few near miss falls, but manages to escape them by dexterous corrective movement. 

The squirrels are scavengers of the environment and are therefore are often moving around in all gardens!

Most squirrels are co-feeders at the feeding table in our garden. 

That makes the garden a hospitable place!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Friendly gestures!

 

The long bird calls of  a Bulbul after it dried its wet body in the morning sun was striking. It moved to be perched near another Bulbul in another cable. 

The above scene displayed the way how a Bulbul overcame its lonely feeling by showing friendly gesture to another Bulbul. The other Bulbul did nit reciprocate for a while. 

Later the two arrived at the feeding station together. 

I notice this in the avian behaviour- Bulbuls have a sociable disposition !

The bird behaviours are educational and instructive. They live supporting and helping each other! They communicate that to each other!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Given to give away!

At sunrise, I observed how leaves and flowers receive a new adorable look in our garden!

The sunshine gifts that appearance!

They receive and reflect the sunrays!

It is what we receive as a person which we reflect or radiate !

The abundance of goodwill we receive from all around us fill us to be overflowing!

I keep pondering on this !

What upbuilds or changes others is goodwill and thoughtfulness!

We are given to give away!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)