Beyond what happened!

 

A hedge plant in our garden showed signs of leaves turning yellow and falling off in one plant. Something happened to affect its wellness. We are trying to revive the plant. Often it is a disease caused by insects or caterpillars feeding on the leaves. 

Yesterday our car developed a snag. We are due for a long distance travel. It was evening and the garage would have been normally closed. I called a number and the response was quick: 'May I help you'? I was asked to bring the vehicle and the mechanic worked on it till about eight at night. The supervisor checked the car the next day and certified the car suitable for  long travel. 

Something had happened to the car, but what stays with me is the courteous and thoughtful support from the mechanical team at the garage. That diffused my anxiety. 

The car mechanics are good problem solvers. I encountered another skill they carry, which is offering  calming assurance and comforting message.  I noticed a composure in their tone of voice and critical planning.

As a physician, I carried a message with me from them. They did not dwell on the snag to magnify it, instead turned my attention to how it can be rectified with return of good function. 

I realised how as a physician I can sometimes dwell too much on the developmental delay of a child,  adding stress to an already distressed family. Instead if the conversation can centre on the details to help a child and lead a family towards that, then the parents would go back with hope and encouragement. 

For a family the difficulty is at two levels- the developmental delay and the closed door of opportunity for the child educationally. 

I recalled yesterday some instances, when the parental level of comfort and involvement was considerably palpable, because the attention was on exploring the next step.

From dwelling on 'what happened', the attention if drawn towards 'what next', there is hope in the horizon. 

I felt that I had an advanced educational input yesterday on motivational thinking from the motor mechanics! Their demeanour is not like the highly rated life coaches; but they were path finders to me when I needed an emotional recovery!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)