I was enchanted by this butter fly landing on a leaf and staying in stillness. Its exquisite beauty and elegance was charming and awe-inspiring. I watched this sight for about fifteen minutes. It flew away just as it appeared and disappeared from my sight. Those fifteen minutes gave me time to get the camera to take this picture. It will be a precious picture in my photo library because of what I narrate below.
I saw this sight in the evening on a day, when something terrible happened earlier in the day. ASHIRVAD, the Christian Concern for Child Care with which Anna and I have been associated for forty years as its founder trustees, invested in different ways in beginning child development facilities at Chennai, Nagpur, Vellore, Pondicherry and Kolenchery. The government officials visited one of the facilities yesterday to ascertain the history of ASHIRVAD and its activities, as part of the inspection process to verify facts which we submit to the Ministry of Home Affairs annually. One official at the end of the inspection visit telephoned to say that the person overseeing the work seems to have said to the inspecting team, 'We have nothing to do with ASHIRVAD'. That surprised the official as the Memorandum of Understanding of ASHIRVAD with that institution, a copy of which was available to them, clearly stated the association with ASHIRVAD. It is one facility ASHIRVAD invested heavily for starting that service.
I was grieving over this let down which ASHIRVAD suffered before the inspecting official. It is likely that ASHIRVAD will be viewed with suspicion by the government.
While overcome with grief, I happened to watch the arrival and departure of the butterfly in the photo above. The sight of the butterfly was gift given to me at a time, when I needed a revision in my outlook to what we invest in. When we invest in a cause, most of us are inclined to expect recognition and acknowledgement.
I received the gift of sighting a butterfly for which I did not labour. It was given. All what we have in life, our skills, abilities, possessions, and envisioning are given to us. It is what is given to us, which we pass it on to others. I remember the statement of St Paul in 1 Corinthians4:7. 'What do you you have that you did not not receive! But if you did receive it, why do you boast as if you have not received it'.
This outlook to what we give away brought a new perspective to my thinking. If what we have, have been give to us, what we give away to invest in a cause, is passing on only what we have been given. So there is no loss, because what we give away did not belong to us anyway.
The sight of the butterfly lasted only for a while. So the joy of giving and its acknowledgement also are transitory.
It brought relief and comfort when it dawned on me. As long as ASHIRVAD was acknowledged for its contribution, it was a good experience. When that acknowledgement ceases, the joy shall spring forth from having been given and the enabling grace received to give away or pass it on. It is by passing on and not by possessiveness, we shall find lasting joy.
I was moved by the attitude of sympathy from the official yesterday. There was a word of sympathy and concern for ASHIRVAD in her voice for not getting the due recognition ASHIRVAD deserved.
This brought home a question which was important for me at this stage of life in the mid seventies. What is the purpose of all that I do !
A professional visiting his mother in Ernakulum from the UK, telephoned me yesterday. He visited the developmental Paediatric facility I was involved in several years ago. He said, 'I am in the specialty of Physical medicine and take care of adults with spinal injury. I remember the time spent with you, when I watched children with developmental challenges. Since then, I have had a desire to support adolescent children in transition to adulthood, who have developmental needs. I want to come over to discuss a plan for the health district, as I have been asked to be involved in this transition planning'. After two decades, someone remembers and reconnects.
The purpose of all what I do is to be present to others. What they do with what they receive is in their domain of choice. An acknowledgement might or might not come! There might even be disowning of what was given. Even then, the mission is to be present and make that as a reason for contentment.
Out of a grief and a disowning experience yesterday, arose a new insight- the purpose of being!
The purpose of being is for GIVING! If giving can bring contentment, then it becomes even more altruistic!
It is important to remind oneself that giving is not to receive acknowledgement, but giving is for walking the path towards self giving.
There is sorrow for what happened yesterday, but there is a way forward to live with a revised outlook!
M.C.Mathew (text and photo)
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