I was drawn to the corner of our garden by two rose flowers, which looked brilliant from a distance in their peach complexion. As I turned around before returning, I noticed another rose flower of a usual colour. It did not engage me.
But as I turned around to walk back, I noticed the two buds hidden by the flower. They were visible only from behind the flower.
This imagery stayed with me through the day as it reminded me of a reality in life.
Having worked in six institutions during my 45 years of clinical work, I am aware of how many people live hidden under the shadow of the dominant and tall presence of one or two. Till they are around and spread themselves to live by the benefit of the skills or aura around them, others remain dwarfed or subdued.
I have had occasions to listen to the stories of some people who felt reduced under the shadow of such tall people, who made their presence manifest forcibly or subtly to stay visible and influential.
The quiet presence of others can therefore be forgotten or underrated.
I too am guilty of not noticing those, who by nature are quiet or choose to function without making noise to make their presence felt. They are the core functionaries who make things happen in places of work but do not get the acknowledgement due to them.
The people in leadership positions can develop favourites whom they promote and underrate the others. I have fallen to this snare on a few occasions.
How an ordinarily coloured rose flower and the two buds become ornamental in a garden as much as the two peach coloured rose flowers! Both of them have their place in the garden.
The depth psychologist talk about confirmation bias. Most of us have an opinion that those who are visible and often noticed are the ones who need attention and promotion as they are the achievers. We who carry this bias underrate others who do not impose their presence.
To find the worth, value and skill of each person and integrate them into the life of the group is the calling that people in leadership positions ought to carry with them.
Some push others aside to remain visible and others feel comfortable to stay hidden. Both are extremes.
I observed a child of three years sing a rhyme while her eight years old brother watched it with interest and hugged her when she finished singing. I quietly asked him what moved him to hug her. He told me she was beginning to sing and needed encouragement. What a noble thought!
In our places of work, I wonder whether we can live with this consciousness of being mindful of others. In the words of Martin Luther King Jr, which a college reminded me yesterday, 'What matters in life is what we do to others'!
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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