Friendship of thirty five years

Anna and I had an opportunity to meet with some dear friends in December 2011, whom we got to know when we lived in Nagpur in the late seventies. During our time together, we had an occasion to recall  some of our shared experiences of the earlier times. We met infrequently since we left Nagpur in 1980, although there were some regular contacts on phone.  

We discovered during our conversations, three aspects of our friendship. 

Our friendship was founded on trust. Unknown to each of us the reasons for this, we were drawn towards each other in a simple mutual trust, which gave us a sense of acceptance and belonging. When we got in touch with each other, we listened to each other and related spontaneously, easily and confidently. We were drawn into an atmosphere of comfort and cordiality because we received each other gladly and unreservedly.

There was a quality of honesty in our conversations, briefing and debriefings. We did not feel the need to cover up anything or conceal what was taking place in our lives. We felt at home because, there was an ambience of celebration and intimacy in our conversations. We heard each other as those who were  a common journey of life, but  with different discoveries from our journey. We felt enriched by the different insights from life. Our openness helped us to be refreshed by other's stories.

We were bonded through mutual respect. This was a moving experience. Our backgrounds, choices a and perspectives had undergone significant changes, but that did not create distance between us. There was a deep sense of regard and value we conveyed to each other. There were no issues to argue about. We found ourselves respect each other easily because we have had something or other to learn from each other.

Not that we have not had difficulties in this journey to relate to each other, but viewed them as transient and inherent to any relationships. We resolved in our hearts to regard the differences as a sign of individualisation that accompanies personal growth. This freed us to enlarge our relationships in greater appreciation of changes taking place in our lives.

This friendship with Sathu and Pushpa (not in the picture), and Jimmy and Annie have been most valuable and formative in our lives. Friendships mature over a period of time. There is a vintage value to such friendships.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)