Delphine and Daffne met for the first time last week.
Delphine was with us for ten years from her third month. She is now adopted by Aswathy and Anandit.
Daffne is now nearing three months of age and she has been with us for six weeks now.
Both these pets met with each other, when the families came together for a holiday.
Delphine is older and yet she was in her usual cheerful and communicating self. However, she was not able to cope with the playful frolicking of Daffne. Delphine was not ready for such an engagement. So they stared at each other and Delphine retreated where as Daffne was persistent. Daffne withdrew after a while when the playful response was not forthcoming from Delphine. They did not seem to overcome the 'stranger anxiety'. This is linked to fear, anxiety and lack of confidence to let go.
What makes openness between people difficult is anxiety about the unknown. Our circumstances make us set boundaries to defend our privacy, freedom to be ourselves and define our space and rights. These very legitimate social needs can themselves be counter-productive in building relationships.
Let me suggest that we begin building relationships with openness and trust. Although it involves some risk, it is a necessary first step to find people who can accompany us with their goodwill and friendship.
We create loneliness for ourselves by our rigidity to protect our space. Inviting others into our inner space and relational space draws us into relationship.
Jesus of Nazareth invited twelve into an intimate relationship. Only one let him down and deserted him. permanently. Others in spite of their slips kept their word to His 'followers'. The world is a safe place to trust each other.
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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