I am waiting for you..!

I usually let children who visit me for consultation to play with my diagnostic kit if I am sure, that it will be safe in their hands. I have not had any accidents in the last thirty five years.

What engages me is that some children are insistent to have my kit than play with attractive toys which are prominently placed in a toy shelf in the room. I still have not figured out why this is true of only. 

I have had some more insights about it this week, when parents directed a three year old child to the toy shelf and sat with the child to play with the toys. The moment they stopped playing with him, he returned to my kit. He wanted to imitate the way I used the kit.

Between two and three years, most children have  a fascination for what the adults are fond of or use regularly. Children at this age would look for an opportunity to get hold of the make up bag, cell phones, pens, writing pads, etc which the adults use. Most children would explore the vanity bags of their mother and the brief case of the father. If denied an opportunity, they would defy and still do it.

This is an exploratory instinct driven to enter into the adult's world. Most children between two and three have fantasies, imaginations and dreams to be like their father or mother do what they do. They fulfil that aspiration by trying to do the way adults would do, to actualise their fantasy.  

An ideal way to let children grow into expanding their imaginations is to invite children in to share in the adult's experiences. However, if the adults think it is done by giving them the cell phone to play with or use computer indiscriminately, or watch the serials in the TV, meant only for adults, then we are skipping an important phase in their developmental process. 

What children need would be the time of adults for nature walk, outdoor games, picnics, visiting places of interests for children like science, park, beach, zoo,etc., read stories which can help children to be anchored emotionally and morally, engage them to make things that unfold children's imagination such as a tree house, swing, etc. This creates a shared experience through which parents and children learn and get to know each other. This is how children who are occupied experience their formation!

When the parents tried to stop the boy from playing with my kit, he retorted, 'I am waiting for you to play with me'.

Waiting children and missing parents!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)          

Memories are formative

This photo represents the facial gesture of a nine month old infant who is about to mouth his hands. I was captivated by the pleasure of  the anticipated self indulgence, this baby communicated for a few seconds on his face. With the mouth wide open and the hands about to reach the moth, there is a mischevious delight on his face.

Do infants at this age retain the memory of an earlier experience! This delightful expression suggests so. 

If it is so, there is a need to engage  parents to help them to communicate to infants soberly, lovingly, affirmingly and intimately. 

I have had three children brought for consultation recently, for some adverse effects following physical injury they suffered during infancy, due to angry outbursts of care givers. It is the first time in my clinical practice, I come across undisputed evidence of 'battered baby' state. I consulted senior and junior colleagues to confirm if this happens where I work now. They suggested that parental behaviour towards infants is changing as most parents go through stressful times. When a baby cries incessantly and both or one of the parents have had a difficult experience at home or work, it is not 'uncommon' to pinch or slap a baby. This has shocked me.

There is a need to bring the focus back to the psycho-social behaviour of infants. Their memories of experiences of first year of life are long lasting. A baby responds to affectionate ways of interaction with equal or more reciprocity. All the infantile experiences are first time experiences. We can prime an infant to have a happy or anxious predisposition depending on how and what we convey.

An eighteen months old baby is used to crying desperately when she watches a dog physically or in pictures. While probing into the past experiences, the mother confessed that, she used to frighten her daughter when she was hesitant to eat, by casually saying to her that the 'neighbour's dog would bite if she did not eat well'. This has stuck with her and any sight or mention of a dog provokes her into crying. 

Let us fill the lives of our infants with as many pleasant and affectionate experiences as possible. Not that we can eliminate painful events, but we can protect infants from being victims of our anger, irritation or impatience.

Parenting of infants (children under one year of age) needs further understanding and responsive action from all of us. They will become what we envision them to be!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)           

Make learning an interactive habit.

This is a greeting I received last year for the Teacher's day from one of the medical students. I have visited this quotation often during the last year. It is an inspirational quotation.

I have been a teacher in five  medical colleges during the last 25 years now. I look back at many events which have shaped my life for which I am grateful to my colleagues and students. 

A teacher is a co-learner with students. The students facilitate the learning journey of a teacher.

A student once came to me while I was at the Mahatma Gandhi Institute of Medial Sciences, Sevagram to tell me that many children in the village that  he came from, suffered from Measles and some had died. It was the year 1976. The Measles vaccine was expensive and was not part of the National Immunisation Programme. I talked this over with Dr. Ulhas Jajoo, a class mate during my under graduate days at Nagpur, who was also in the faculty at MGIMS at that time. Jajoo was contemplating to start a food grain based insurance programme for village folks to help them to get subsidised health care at the hospital. Each family would have to give their premium of health insurance at the harvesting time as grains, which would be stored to sell back to the villagers at the cost price, form which the insurance premium in cash would be deposited to the hospital.  Jajoo was more than glad to include Measles immunisation as part of the insurance package. That was the starting of a life saver for children from Measles in some villages around Sevagram.  

It was a student who challenged me; it was his observation and social passion which set in motion an intervention plan. 

This form of student- teacher interaction is most critical to make medical education a corporate learning experience. Teachers need to be contextual, relevant and effective. The students, who are primary learners can lead teachers to make learning a growing and enlarging experience for students.   

Students influence the teachers to be thoughtful and gentle; teachers mould the attitudes and values of students. Both are interactive experiences, which alone can make medical education process life-centred and not just disease centred.  

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)    

Conversations that upbuild

There are some special moments of communication between a parent and a child and this is one such occasions. It is a delight to watch such occasions. 

The mother was talking about going back home in the bus to play with his tricycle. This boy loved travelling in bus. While back at home he enjoys being pushed around in his tricycle. It is recall of memories of pleasant experiences between the mother and the child, that brought this joyful communication.

This gives an indication how relationships can be sustained and refreshed in a family setting. I have been making enquiries from families about their habits of family conversations. Most of the conversations are about events, difficulties or plans and much less of pleasant experiences or anecdotes. A lot of conversational times are around dining table, while watching TV or while travelling. 

There are few families who have dedicated conversational times during which times, each member of family shares memories of happy occasions, remembers others gratefully for their support during specific times of needs or narrates stories or anecdotes which brought encouragement. Such occasions contribute to grow in intimacy between members of the family  and create space for communication and upbuilding each other. One good story or pleasant experience invokes others to narrate similarly. 

We live and relate to a world of many conversations, presentations, arguments, accusations and conflicts. They unsettle, confuse or intimidate us. We need to speak to others to convey love, affection, appreciation and gratefulness. It is this which creates a fabric of character of mutuality and interdependence within  a family. This makes us more humble, less critical and grow in appreciation of others. 

We are under obligation to prayerfully seek ways to promote tolerance and collegiality in an atmosphere where competition, drivenness for success and self seeking have become acceptable social norms. 

It is children of today who would later decide the social character of communities. Let them listen to stories of gladness that would encourage them to flee from cynicism and trust the world to be their 'home'!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)             

Existential challenges

The coconut farming has become common in many places in south India in the last twenty years and is becoming less practical in Kerala, which was the home for coconut plantations for decades. The coconut trees are more susceptible to various diseases, the price has declined while the cost of production has gone up and the climbers to pluck coconuts are no more freely available. What was a stable crash crops for farmers in Kerala is getting replaced by rubber plantations. Anna and I have been trying to get a climber to pluck the coconuts in our garden for the last two months with no success.

Most of the unskilled workers who work in the farm, construction sites, fuel stations, industry, etc. in Kerala are migrant workers form Bihar, Uttar Pradesh, North Eastern states, etc. Now with rural employment scheme where each unemployed person can get jobs up to 200 days in  year, these migrant workers do not have to come to Kerala looking for jobs. They are better off in their own states.

I read and hear this issue being debated widely in Kerala. Will there be enough unskilled workers in the future in Kerala!  

All the adolescent children in our neighbourhood, having completed their schooling are looking out for higher education. The school drop outs in the past became unskilled workers. Now this too will not happen as educational opportunities even for someone with less abilities exist in many schools in Kerala. 

There are vast stretches of land uncultivated even in our village as farm labourers are not to be found. 

This points to a global phenomenon. The unskilled workers and even skilled workers in England now come from other parts of Europe or Asia. The professionals have a global market open before them for employment. 

This is an alarming situation in Kerala- painters, plumbers, masons, carpenters, farm workers, domestic workers, etc. are likely to become extinct as young people do not see this as a job career for themselves. 

This vacuum of work force to support the social infrastructure will hit life in rural areas even more.  The workmen prefer to go to towns or cities for better prospects and people prefer to migrate to live in towns and cities by disposing off their farm land. In our village, those who live in our neighbourhood are elderly people, and a few others by choice.  

No wonder more and more gated communities are coming into being, which offer to take care of many chores of life.

I wish the Churches in Kerala who own large properties consider this as a mission to help the ageing population by creating self-supporting communities!  

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The Gentle Shepherd

This painting by Nathan Green based on the saying of Jesus,'..and the sheep follow Him, for they know His voice',  from the gospel of John, Chapter 10 and verse 4, is most inviting and revealing. Let me share three of my first impressions.

The embracing Jesus- one hand below the cheek of the sheep represents the receiving attitude of Jesus. Jesus is always welcoming and receiving all those who move towards Him.  The other hand is positioned to stroke and comfort as that is what a tired sheep would need. Both hands seem to cover the face of the sheep to protect by creating a space for rest.  The painter communicates his personal experience of his relationship with Jesus through that portrayal of the two hands. 

The kneeling Jesus-  Jesus comes down to our position. He does that spontaneously. His incarnational journey began when he was born in a manger at Bethlehem. This brings a call to all those who profess to follow Jesus. It is not condescending but identifying with all those with whom we are in touch is the way set before us. This is a genuine way of befriending and accompanying people. This is the only way  the missionary heart of Jesus of Nazareth will be revealed to a broken world.

The looking Jesus- There is a communication  of acceptance, gladness and warmth in the look of Jesus. The facial smile is gentle to ally any fear and guilt. It is a receiving, pardoning and caring look. The painter portrayed mercy and kindness in the facial expression of Jesus. The lighter stokes of paint creates a diffuse halo around the  face and hands of Jesus. This adds a special effect to the painting. His presence is graceful. 

This  painting is larger than any of these thoughts. It is gospel in summary.

A seven year old child told me yesterday after the sunday school that 'Jesus is a gentle shepherd'. She said it so joyfully that I sensed that she became a good news bearer from her own personal experience during the sunday school lesson.

M.C.Mathew (text and photo) 

Living Lovingly

Anna and I have actively kept in touch with worship congregations during our stay at Pune, Sevagram, Nagpur, Chennai, Vellore and now in Kerala. We have often found such occasions spiritually refreshing and biblically instructional in our formative journey.

Now that we live in  a new cultural milieu in Kerala of strong heritage of Christian spirituality, we are beginning to understand how church life is strongly linked to denominational fidelity. In the village where we live, there are fifteen worshipping congregations, all belonging to different denominations. There is a strong boundary which each denomination prescribes for its members that interdenominational co-operation or collaboration is nominal and minimal. Sometimes there is intolerance and intimidation, which makes interdenominational relationship difficult and stressful.

A minister of one congregation mentioned to me that three denominations used to use the same church building for their sunday worship services and weekly meetings in one city where he was a vicar of one congregation. The church building was also used for day care of children and senior citizens, drawn form all denominations and other faiths, during the week day.  

On the same day, another minister dropped in to greet me. He drew my attention to six church buildings closed to worshippers due to conflicts between groups within the congregations. Sometimes worship services are held under police protection. He knew of my interest in dispute resolution and reconciliation and invited my attention to this opportunity.   

I have recently got in touch with Bishops of three denominations. I realized how each denomination speaks of its 'faithful flock'. I wonder whether the 'faith community' is missiologically getting preoccupied with being 'faithful flock' of denominations!

A senior minister, whom we know for fifteen years, who is likely to be nominated to the panel for selection of a Bishop, mentioned to us this morning how he feels for the diocese which is full of internal conflicts. 

We returned from the Sunday worship today, with this longing in our hearts, 'how are we live to lovingly' amidst so many pressures and divisive practices! This is the missionary call we feel in our hearts, ever since we have come to live in Kerala. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)         

Beliefs that need burial

Anna and I were walking along a corridor on our way to get in to the car to go to the passport office to renew our passport. A friend was walking us to the car. A black cat crossed the corridor in front of us, at which our friend became restive and advised us against going to Chennai on that day. Spotting a black cat just before doing anything important is considered ominous. We could not change our mind as we had got this appointment after waiting for two months. Our friend was anxious and called us on phone a few times and rushed to see us on our return. We had a good journey and our interview with passport  office went on well. It is then this friend told us of many such traditional beliefs that are strictly followed by the old and young alike.

We noticed at the dog show last week, that the dogs are trained to put forth the right foreleg while being paraded before the judges, just as as men and women are expected to put the right leg first, every time one sets out on an important mission.

There are several traditional beliefs of similar nature which are passed on to us from mythology and ancient cultural practices. Not many would like to deviate from these as far as possible. A priest was insistent to hold a dedication prayer for an office till 9 am as time before that on that day was not considered an'opportune' time. So these beliefs can take different expressions and controls. 

Let us respect traditions if they promote values, human dignity and godly behaviour. If they are handed down traditions which bind us and restrict us, they need a 'farewell' from us. 

The watchful wyes of the good Lord are upon us. That is our surety and strength. We are called to be vigilant and responsible in our behaviour. That is good enough. Let not traditional beliefs which add burdens to us to preserve them control us or override reason and logic. It is good to do what is reasonable and sensible without 'fighting' the system to avoid  leaving somebody or other hurt. Make a quiet exit from what is binding us with no protest. This finds us freedom without offending any one in the process. This example will encourage others to be brave to be different. 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)                          

Rules and Habits

The two photographs, one of  a policeman and the other of several travelling in two wheelers without wearing helmets in  a city, where rules require every two wheeler rider  to use a helmet, tell us a lot about habits that cannot be regulated by rules. The, on the spot fine, for violating the rule is a large amount and it is neither enforced nor does it exert pressure on people to wear helmet.

I am told by advocates and police officers that there are too many laws and rules in India, the first impression of which makes every one feel good about the noble intentions. But the violation of    the rules is so common that it is not just  an exception. We accommodate, tolerate and even justify violation of rules. 

What if we make a shift from framing rules, enforcing them, and condoning every violation, to focussing on building character of our young people. The youth of India is a community who seem to show some inclination to look at the collective responsibility we share to make a difference. 

It can begin in our place of work, where we can engage our colleagues to make a small beginning. I have found initiatives such as keeping the environment clean, arriving on time for work, being diligent at work, showing courtesies towards others, going out of one's ways to help others, offering hospitality, consideration towards who suffer from disadvantages, etc. as starters of a dialogue about human behaviour and relationships. 

I am currently working in a setting where these issues come up for conversation almost every day. I realise how, each time we show forth good practices, it gets noticed and appreciated. It is when we can share acts of kindness, we create an atmosphere to talk about value based living where practicing personal ethics and acting because of conviction are esteemed. 

I remember a eight year old child telling me few days back, 'if you want to stop children from walking across the road except at the Zebra crossing, let the adults show the way'. I heard from a government official in Singapore that the government introduced fine for littering the street after making successive generations of children aware about the value of clean environment for two decades. No wonder, the on the spot fine became a restraint for littering, as the people were educated about it during the school years. 

People change their habits not by force but through sensitising them  to foster conviction and character.  

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Meaning behind Rituals

The exciting things of a graduation ceremony are, pausing for photographs, procession and the award ceremony. Usually after photographs are taken, we notice the graduates flinging their ceremonial caps in to air. After the photographs were over, I happened enquired from the graduates the meaning behind flinging thier caps. They said, 'we do because we have seen others do'. I must confess I too did not know much about the origin of this ritual.

I got in touch with a retired Professor who is in his early eighties and wanted to hear from him the genesis of this ritual. 

He explained to me that there are three rituals associated with a graduating ceremony. First, is pausing for group photograph with the faculty and the chief guest of the graduation ceremony. There is a tea before this, during which time the graduating students meet with the faculty informally to say 'thank you'. This is a special occasion as graduates make personal conversation with the faculty.

Second is the photograph with the ceremonial dress with the faculty and chief guest. This symbolises the academic spirit of co-learning. The faculty learn from the students and the students from the faculty. It is this constitutes the academic milieu of the institution, an essential character of any good institution.

At the end of the photographs, the graduates normally bow in unison, in appreciation of what they have received from their Alma mater. Following this, they look up to the sky in gratitude towards God of universe for granting them knowledge and wisdom. It is after that, they fling the ceremonial cap into the air, as a symbol of freedom to move into the wide world of opportunities. It is important that they receive the cap into their hands as it descends, to affirm that they take charge of their future responsibly.

It is after this most meaningful exercise, they move in to form procession, to go into the convocation hall for the formal graduation ceremony. 

There are many meaningful symbolisms behind every ritual we follow. The fact that the rituals are meant to add meaning and richness to what we do is most refreshing. It is the meaning which is more important than the practice of a ritual itself. And yet, we sometimes continue a ritual without entering into its meaning.  

Make it  a habit to make rituals or traditions meaningful, by searching for their original meaning!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)  

A child is more than a student

I happened to notice this group of children waiting for their annul school health check up, in the out-pateint area of a hospital. What held my attention was the several playful body gestures and gesticulations they were preoccupied with, while they were waiting for their turn to be seen by the health care team. 

We need to understanding the needs of children on different occasions and settings.  

Most parents take children along with them when they visit their family friends. If there are no children that they can play with in that home, any child will lose interest in the novelty of place and people and would soon show  restlessness. The more the parents try pacifying such an unoccupied child, the more the parents would feel disappointed because of non compliance. 

A similar experience may await parents when they take young children on long journey in the car or in a train. After the initial novelty of travel and watching new sights, fade away children would show signs of restlessness by quarrelling with each other or doing naughty things which would provoke parents to punish them.  

There can be instances of similar restless behaviour, when children are not prepared for what await them. Let me suggest three broad guidelines to help children in their transitions. 

Every child needs preparation to get ready for any change. Going on a long travel, visiting a home, going to a mall or restaurant can evoke mixed feelings of anxiety and excitement in many children.

Every child needs something to occupy himself with, when he or she has to wait or is in transit. Let every child have a small bag of toys, reading books, creative art materials, or M3 player, cuddly toys etc. when they have to spend long time outside their own home. Adults need to pay attention to children to help them in their adjustment process, when they are away from home. If children are restless at home, consider if they have an environment which can occupy them. Every home needs to have an inclusive approach where children will have an access to toys, books, creative activities of art, music, play, etc. They need a place which they can call it as their own- a table, shelf, chair, etc. 

About fifty percent of children whom parents bring for consultation for inattention or restlessness are those who do not have opportunities to be actively engaged in out-door activities of play, games or sports or not having stimulating and engaging activities at home. Most of what children are made to do are academic activities at school and home that some children are disinclined to learn. 

Ravi, a eight year old child mentioned to me that, 'What is common between home and school is the pressure to study. I am tired of this. When will they let me enjoy my childhood?'. Ravi got first prize in elocution and solo singing at the school cultural festival. He actively participated in athletics and played in the school basket ball team. 

We, adults and parents, need a different mind set, to think about the all round needs of children.  A child is more than a student.  

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)    

Reality and Perception

The three photos are the views of Sikkim  from a hotel room in the morning, taken  a few years back, when Anna and I spent couple of days visiting this scenic part of of our country.

The visibility of the city decreased  as the clouds covered the mountain side and its terrain. It took about an hour for the full visibility to return.The mountains did not disappear, but the visibility did. I realise that there are some occasions, when I am unable to see the whole truth in all its clarity.

There are inner filters or blinders which cloud our understanding or perception. It is like Daphney, our puppy, who does not get the message that it would hurt us if she were to bite us playfully, like the way she would do to her toys.

 She has a perception dysfunction as of now. She would hopefully overcome this shortly. Joseph's brothers cast him into a pit out of intolerance of his behaviour. They failed to recognise that it would hurt him, make him lonely and  endanger him. The pastor at the morning service today, referring to the several injustices, cruelty and deprivations that girl children go through in life suggested that parents are also responsible for what they suffer from. They fail to sense this. 

The slave masters failed to recognise the dehumanising effect of buying and selling humans and ill treating them, till enlightened leaders like Abraham Lincoln decided to stop this practice.

We as humans in spite of all the enlightenment which the  study of science, humanities, sociology, economics, anthropology, etc. brings to us, are people with blind spots.

A husband may fail to see the needs of his wife; a mother may overlook the needs of her children; a pastor can ignore some in the congregation; this list is long. What are we to do, to remain clear and open in our perception! 

This is what personal accompaniment can offer to each of us. Someone with whom we are in touch with and with whom we share our inner events and perceptions can be a pointer to realities beyond our perception. We become more rounded and clear as we trust someone to know and participate in the realities of our lives. This mentoring process by listening and revising one's life is a means for embracing the whole truth concerning ourselves and others. It is 'truth that shall set us free' and it is Jesus of Nazareth who said, 'if the Sons shall make you free you shall be free indeed'. Freedom comes from open relationship of trust and mutuality. That is when we will be led to realities beyond our visibility or perception.

The opposite is that we will become even more covered under the interior clouds of bias, suspicion, prejudice, fear, anger, etc. which distort our perception. We would pursue our perception rather than reality, if that were to happen.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)  

   

Learning new Life Skills

Since Anna and I started living in a village in Kerala, we have realized that it is not easy to find skilled workers such as electricians, plumbers, painters, carpenters, etc.as and when we need them.  Most of these people who are trained in these jobs, are employed lucratively in the middle eastern countries or in big firms in the cities and towns. It is not common to find self employed people in villages who can be hired for repairing or mending. 

We are waiting for an electrician for two months to fix 15 Amps sockets in our home so that Anna can start using the oven to bake cakes ; a carpenter to reassemble the cupboards we brought from Pondichery and fix some curtain rods; and a painter to paint the house. Having waited, I realised that any further wait is only going to inconvenience us even more.

So we bought an electric drill and fixed the curtain rods ourselves; we painted the kitchen and is now getting a daily wage worker introduced to do the gardening and painting. 

It is this that made me think about taking some measures for self sufficiency all of us nee in many skills that we have often delegated to others. As adults we need to view the opportunities to learn new skills and do many practical things with our hands  imaginatively as a means for our own personal enlargement and growth. 

Life offers us many occasions to become more rounded and proficient. Most of the skills reside within us potentially; it is for us to actualise them by the choices we make. Sometimes we get pushed into new tasks only to discover how fulfilling it is to continue learning and acquire life skills as an ongoing journey to update our capacity. With an access to the internet, which provides us instructions on new skills, we can have  a guided tour into learning new skills.

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)          

Creating Opinions or Communicating Controversies

Since our coming to live in Kerala, we do not have access to four news papers we used to subscribe for our news gathering. So we watch TV little longer than what we have been used to. This has created within me anxiety and anguish over the way we use the visual media.

The five private popular national English channels have a common design for their presentations. The evenings are prime viewing time. In a broadcasting time of half an hour five to seven minutes would be the advertisement time , which brings in money to run these channels. 

During the last two weeks, I was looking for some 'good news' of social events, speeches, human stories of interest, acts of kindness or charity or biographical sketches of people who triumphed over circumstances or philanthropical initiatives, etc. I found about 12 percent of time spent for such references in the popular channels.  Most of the prime times were spent  broadcasting controversies, conflicts or crimes. Of late the debates are full of accusations, intimidations,  personal attacks or political posturing. 

During the last three years, we have added many more regional and national channels. Each channel has a political, religious or business affiliation. We have turned the media to promote sensational news and private interests. The news channels are no more sources of information which can form opinions and attitudes. The BBC has been the gold standard for several decades now. But it has also been under compulsion to be successful commercially that in the recent times, it has also compromised its ethical standards  and integrity in broadcasting.

Although I agonise over this, I see no ray of hope in the horizon. I hope the social media will take over to create opinions, values, appeals and represent the voice of the commons!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)            

Living each day

Let me share the story of a widower in his mid seventies who live in the interior part of a village in north Kerala.

He weaves a bamboo basket everyday five or  six days in a week and walks five kilometres to reach the nearest market to sell it. He gets anything between 100 and 130 rupees for this. It takes him about five hours to weave it, and about two hours to split the bamboo to make these narrow and long flexible pieces to weave.  He gets his bamboo stems from a contractor who drops them at his road side thatched house, once a week for which he has to pay three hundred rupees. He earns about two hundred rupees or so a week, which makes him live below the poverty line. 

His wife used to help him weave till she passed away  following a protracted illness with cancer. They both used to make three baskets each day, which brought in enough income for the family.

These bamboo baskets were the only containers to carry head load in the vegetable market or transport fish. But the plastic baskets have replaced these bamboo baskets. The plastic basket costs less and lasts longer. The bamboo baskets are in less demand. Until five years back, he could get the bamboo from the forests free. Now, that access is denied except to people from the tribal community. Times have changed and it is no longer a viable source of income for those who have lived on this trade. 

These artisans, who have traditionally lived on this family trade,  are a disappearing community with younger members of the family least inclined to engage in a trade which brings no returns for their livelihood. 

It is a peice of art as you look at these baskets. They are made with much craftsmanship and design. There is an aesthetic and elegant look. It reveals how skills and effort can create a designer basket, that deserve to be patented because of it belongs to a class of its own.  

The present business climate is not in favour of such creative initiatives. And yet there are some Non-govenmental organisations with assistance from government funding trying to revive and foster such traditional crafts and trade. There is an annual trade and exhibition fair in New Delhi, where craftsmen display their produce. There is an international market for such produce. 

The story of this senior citizen represents the woes of economic development. His story is never the guiding factor when policy makers design economic or industrial policy. His is a lone voice and lives a lonely life; his needs are ignored; he does not have many on his side to take his sides.

 One of such ones may even be our neighbour!    

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)    

Mornings and Evenings

Anna and I completed last week, two months of our stay in my mother's home, in this eighty year old cottage.

Anna and I have spent our morning and evening times in the garden to get it to a reasonable visually pleasing sight. We have lawns around the house, with the grass we brought from the lawn at our PIMS home. Now that, we have a forty old day Beagle puppy, she insists that we spend longer time outdoor in the garden. It is a challenge to keep the garden free of weeds as the fertile soil and frequent rains promote overgrowth. Some of the hedge plants, lantana, rose, etc we have planted have grown, which encourage us to attempt to grow more plants. Anna has been making efforts to make a kitchen garden, which is also making a progress. 

The weeds tell us a story that we had not considered earlier. We have not been able to stop the weeds from growing. Sometimes weeds grow faster than the grass and plants. They occupy the space meant for the plants. They choke the grass and deplete the soil of manure and moisture. Every time we manure or water the ground, the weeds get even more energised. 

Our news papers and TV channels area full of news, comments and expose on corruption, nepotism, unlawful personal gains of public servants. There is so much hype about it, and I suspect that we are promoting even more corrupt practices. People would learn to do more of the same and cover their deceitful practices even more, to avoid from being found out.

Jesus of Nazareth spoke a parable of the weeds and wheat. He suggested that, 'let the weeds also grow', lest we uproot the wheat while removing the weeds. At the time of the harvest, both would be gathered, wheat to the barns and the weeds to the fire. 

I wonder whether we need greater focus on doing good!  It is when we saturate our places of work, home, churches, etc. with doing good, we would be able to wean our attention away from weeds, which are there to stay. Let them not consume our attention or energy. Jesus of Nazareth went abut doing good. He referred to the bankruptcy of the religious practices, but went beyond to love, care and serve.

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Thirtieth year of ASHIRVAD

This is the team at the Developmental Paediatrics and Child Neurology department at the MOSC Medical College, Kolenchery, which began its services on 14th of September, 2012 on the 42nd anniversary of the founding day of this mission hospital. 

This is the sixth partnership initiative of ASHIRVAD, Christian Concern for Child Care, since this charity was established on 14th November, 1983.

The establishment of a Child Development and Research Centre at Chennai in 1983 was its first activity which was the first stand alone facility for promoting neuro-development in children in India. The second initiative in 1987 was a partnership with St. Andrews Church, Chennai to establish ASHA school for children with special needs. The third was beginning of the ASHIRVAD Early Learning Centre at Nagpur in 1991. The fourth partnership was to begin the Developmental Paediatrics unit at the Christian Medical College Vellore, in 1997, which was the first of its type in any Medical College in India, then. In 2010, ASHIRVAD partnered with Pondicherry Institute of Medical Sciences, to attempt starting a Developmental Paediatrics and Child Neurology department at Pondicherry. 

All the above activities except one, continue offering most meaningful services for children with neuro-developmental needs and are fully taken care by  local teams, with whom we continue to have  fraternal relationships. The department of Developmental Pediatrics and Child Neurology at Pondicherry ceased to exist in July 2012, which was unfortunate and disturbing.     

This sixth initiative at MOSC Medical college at Kolenchery is an activity in the thirtieth year of ASHIRVAD, which is rather significant historically. This hospital was started by a team of doctors from Chrisitian Medical College, Vellore in 1970, to meet the health needs of this region at a time when a secondary care general hospital was needed. Dr. K.C. Mammen, who was the founder director of this hospital, established good practices to make it a mission hospital. The Medical College is in its tenth year.

We feel touched as we realise that a small dream and effort  brought so much into being during the last thirty years. This tell us of God's mysterious ways in human lives.

Anna and I recollect gratefully the arrival of Anita, our daughter, in 1980, who awakened in us a message of the needs of children who are developmentally disadvantaged. She left us at three months of age for her heavenly home. Anna and I were overcome with grief and loss that we left the Chrisitan Medical College, Vellore in 1981 to spend a year at the Christian Fellowship Hospital at Oddanchatram on the invitation of late Dr. A.K.Tharien, for discernment and preparation to begin, ASHIRVAD Christian Concern for Child care, as a memorial for our daughter, Anita.We moved to Chennai in 1983 to explore the prospects of starting a Child Development and Research Centre.

We look back over these thirty years with much gratitude for the liberal and loving support we received from Friends of ASHIRVAD in India, Germany, England, Australia, switzerland,etc. We have been accompanied by many in our journey of learning and growing. Now that Anna and I are in our early sixties, we realise that the remaining years of active life are even more precious. 

We stay open to discern the open doors of opportunity that God has set before us now. We believe that the latter years will be more blessed than the former years. 

Join with us in celebrating God's goodness and faithfulness in our lives and His doings during the last thirty years. Our greatest fulfilment comes from seeing our children, Amy and Arpit,  Aswathy and Anandit, seek after God and choose godly ways in their lives. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)     

Outer and inner ambiences

This is the window facing the alter at the Immanuel church, Ernakulum, where Anna  and I are seeking to be members of the worshipping congregation. It is placed at height that the whole altar and the space adjacent to it get the natural morning sunlight. The cross in wood is fixed to the ground glass panel of the window. The sun casts the shadows of leaves of a tree hanging over the window in the outside. The window is shaped in arch formation to correspond to the rest of the design of the wall.

This church was rebuilt a few years back and this window is a new addition since then.

The self illuminating inscription, 'Holy', three times at the foot of the cross is a gentle reminder of the attitude we are invited to internalize while being in the sanctuary.  The choir seated at either side of the altar has this window in their full sight. One of the senior members of the choir mentioned to me that he returns from the worship service each time with a sacred feeling of having been touched and moved. One significant factor according to him, is this window and the inscriptions on it. It directs him to an open heart towards God.  

One important aspect of the interior design of a place where we go to worship is, how much of it is contributing to create the inner ambience of gladness, humility, thanksgiving and hope. This is possible if the interior is simple, distraction free and creates a worshipful ambience.

Even children sit quieter in this church, as the shadows of leaves on the glass window keep moving in the wind, which itself is fascinating for them. This holds their attention. 

The worship service is so structured that it allows long pauses of silence.  This silence is another way of allowing inner movements towards God, who draws us in silence. What transpires in the interior of our lives is what resides with us as we leave the church after the worship. Having experienced God's love, we leave the church to share His love with others.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

       

   

Frequent Visitors.

Anna and I have often been surprised by the variety of avian visitors in our garden- now it is the turn of the squirrels. Ever since some  banana plants have  flowered, at least two squirrels are frequently seen feeding on the honey. Both these squirrels visit the  same banana flowers at least twice day. 

What makes me write about this is the way the squirrels go about finding their daily food and possess control over the food. I have noticed the same squirrels at all the banana flowers in the garden. They follow the same route for arrival and departure. They too have their territorial claims like the birds and do not allow other squirrels to come into their space. I have found the two squirrels chasing away one intruder.

This is the universal phenomenon- self preservation. This is natural to most species.

It is for this reason, that I continue to be attracted by the message of Jesus, who suggested that, ' it is in giving you receive' and demonstrated this reality by his own life. He surrendered Himself to the call of the cross that others may have fullness of life. This vicarious giving creates a new ethos for relationships.    

Is it possible to give till we feel emptied! A five year old girl, whose story I heard yesterday, reminds me that it can be possible. She decided to let go of her birthday presents to pay the school fees of a girl, who had not joined the school for lack of school uniform and books. This girl decided to help the three year old neighbour to join school by denying her rightful birthday gift. This so moved the parents that they took initiative to help the family even more.  

Let me confess that, self promotion, acquisitiveness and personal ambitions have become the driving forces for successful living. The squirrels tell this story. This has become socially and morally acceptable. Against this misplaced view of life and living backdrop, some of us need to create a counter culture of living with a mission, 'make life meaningful for others'. This calls for trust in the nobility of this mission and its potential to be a leaven.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

  

Sounds and Peace

This is a poster I noticed in the drive way of a  large office complex. 

Can sounds disturb peace!

Peace is inner quietude, comfort and composure no matter what may be the external circumstances. Can there be peace even while external circumstances are turbulent!

Anna and I have travelled approximately five hundred thousand kilometres on Indian roads. I have deliberately avoided honking usually, for the last twenty five years, although it is an acceptable practice on Indian roads. Every time I hear the honking, I must confess that I feel disturbed, and uncomfortable. There is a transient restlessness which is the opposite of peace. 

I presume many road travellers would not feel the way I feel. So I have been more tolerant of this honking practice in the recent years till I began to realize that honking disturbs the well being of children who have hearing impairment, muscular hypertonia, autistic behaviour, hyperactivity behaviour, seizures, attention deficit, etc. Of course they form a minority of the travelling public.

Many drivers with whom I have had conversations on honking tell me that driving is made easier by honking. They are unwilling to be mindful of the disturbance it causes to children, the noise pollution it creates and its intimidating appeal on the pedestrians. With the freedom to honk, some drivers overspeed, which endangers safety.

It is always the minority that have to adjust to others. This is the societal way of constituting the frame work of behaviour in a civil society.

Let me suggest another way that Jesus of Nazareth conveyed through a parable of invited guests for a banquet. When the three invited guests did not turn up because of their pre-occupations, the host invited the people living in the lanes and margins of the town. They were ordinarily excluded from such privileges. They got included this time for the privileges which were ordinarily reserved for the elite.

While the civil society can justify its actions and behaviour in favour of the majority, there is a higher calling to transcend this conventional approach- to be mindful of those who are excluded, inconvenienced or harassed by our preferred  ways.

Honking is not just a trivial issue which the poster claims to disturb peace, but it is an archetype of several events and happenings in civil society where we live unmindful of others.

Up until, the least in our society is made comfortable and valued, we are still pursuing a personal pursuit. Humanity is created for a collective journey.

M..C.Mathew (text and photo)   

   

Living relationally is the natural way

This is the flower bunch Anna and I are   sending to President Barak Obama electronically, on his reelection to the American presidency for another term of four years. 

For the first time in the recent presidential elections, the Americans have been vertically divided over their ethnic identity, while voting as Democrats and Republicans. Both Obama and Romney have already reached out to each other through their post election speeches to work together for the well being of America and the global world.

There is a message for all of us, as we live with the reality of divisive politics. The former Chief Minister of state of Kerala, Mr. V.S.Achuthanandan of the Marxist party dropped in, two weeks back, to wish speedy recovery to Mr. Ommen Chandy, the present Chief Minister of the Congress party, who was convalescing. There was much hype about it in the media as both of them have serious differences with each other on policy matters which they air publicly. And yet their personal regard for each other remained intact amidst all the political hostility. Mr. Achuthandan referred to this visit as, 'humane response to another human being'. 

I like this maturity of character. I wish all of us would learn and practice to surpass our differences with others and create an attitude of accommodation and acceptance.

Let me share something I am learning from adolescent children through my involvement with them. Two siblings, both adolescents, one boy and girl have been competing with each other to do well in extra curricular activities so much so they  became hostile and accusatory of each other. Their parents were going through a difficult time to resolve this. The family went to watch the Easter musical in their church. The pardon Jesus offered to the thief on the cross so touched both the children that they moved out of their seats from either side of their parents to sit next to each other holding hands. The parents mentioned to us that they instantly became different towards each other with care and love in their attitude and reactions. After an year of this, the parents still recall this grace in their lives with humility and gratitude. God is at work in our lives because Jesus of Nazareth did say to His followers, 'Peace be with you'.

Human beings are created for relationships and friendships. Everything else is an exception. I wonder whether we can begin with the mission of fostering peace at home and between neighbours... this will have a leavening effect.

M.,C.Mathew(text and photo)       

A painting for meditation

It is a wall painting, I found hanging opposite the staircase, leading to the basement of an office building, I visited recently.  

It has a semblance of the scene, when Jesus of Nazareth made himself known at the supper table to two men  and their family - the story of two travellers to Emmaus.

The way the painter has portrayed this scene highlights some creative aspects of this encounter.

The narration of this event in the new testament book of Luke makes no mention of who else were present in the home. The painter added two women. I like that inclusive approach. Jesus revealed Himself during the breaking of the bread to a family. The painter presents Jesus as a guest who would bring blessings and healing to families.

The table has just bread and a jar, a very simple menu for a special occasion. The simple menu of the meal is deliberately presented by the painter to communicate a counter culture to the lavish dinners we host in our homes and in public functions. The meal time is for relationship, communion and celebration of fellowship. The food itself is not the only reason for meal time gatherings.

Everyone is gathered around a round table. Jesus draws everyone together around the table and creates an ambience of nearness and connectedness. To have women around a table where men are seated is unlikely to be acceptable in jewish tradition. And yet the painter transcends that and creates a community around the person of Jesus. This is an echo of the Jesus's mission on earth, 'that they all may be one'.  

The position of the right hand of Jesus, with the thumb pointing to himself, the index finger heaven word and the three fingers toward those around the table is a solemn portrayal of the spirit of the occasion. Jesus and the Father are reaching out to the family through His Spirit. A gentle symbol of the  presence of the Trinitarin presence in the family.

The painting is differently coloured with halos around Jesus and a woman and the light and shadows  falling differently on the two men, one woman and the  table. An profound artistic expression of how the presence of Jesus fills the inner space of our soul by His grace, according to the needs of each person.  

Share with me your meditation on this painting, when you get time.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

Listen to disagreement

I found the statement, 'Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress' on the display board outside the entrance to the YWCA campus at New Delhi captivating for three reasons.

Firstly, I found it as an effective way of communication on a prominent location. It was large enough to be read from across the 100 feet road. It is a way-side pulpit, announcing a message which invites attention. While travelling on a road, one will be visually loaded with usual bill boards and displays outside shops and offices. So this stands out as an exceptional theme that catches the attention and stays in one's mind while travelling along the road.

Secondly, it is a visionary statement about human behaviour  and public conduct. It is a contrast to what we come across in families, organisations, Churches, society, etc. where dissent or disagreement is often the starting point for disunity and division. I sense on many occasions people disagreeing and becoming intolerant. So this statement is an invitation announcing the value of honest disagreement.

Thirdly, it is statement of fact which reveals the organisational perspective of YWCA. It is a public declaration of the philosophy YWCA, which it upholds it in its approach to issues. YWCA of New Delhi has several social projects in partnership with government and voluntary organisations. It is an organisation which is in the forefront promoting women's well being, social transformation, character building and entrepreneurship. To have an organization project such a value as its ethos for  its meetings, relationships and partnerships is most refreshing. It highlights a message of togetherness, conciliation and strength in diversity.

One statement can be so profound that it can summarise a great deal for an ongoing inner dialogue. That is how I found this statement. Yesterday, when someone walked into my office and shared many things about what is being done to welcome the Chief Minister of the state to the college on this saturday for a function, I realised that he was expressing honest disagreement, which needed to be heard and considered. So it did not end up as an unnecessary argument but listening to understand.

That is when I remembered this statement, I noticed last month, while visiting YWCA.  

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

   

Childhood exploration

Anna and I were on a visit to the rural areas of Pondicherry, just before we were bidding farewell to our two years of  stay in Pondicherry. We stopped at this site to watch the harvesting of paddy. It held our attention as men and women were gathering the paddy and the hay and the cattle were grazing on the harvested field for their fodder.

Another  family too stopped to watch this sight with their two pre-school aged children. The younger one said to her mother: 'I always thought that we got our rice from the super market. Actually it comes from the field'. 

This is the disadvantage which our children of modern times grow up with. They will not ordinarily see a diary farm, agricultural farm, a cycle factory, mango or banana plantations, etc. They would of course be net surfers, computer literate, movie watchers, shopping mall fans....

Our children can grow up benefiting from the advances in technology and information processing. But they can be oblivious of realities of life and the milieu of the 'other' India where people live differently.

A family friend is engaged in arranging visits of school going students from Europe to visit India during winter months to spend about one month in a rural school, to give the expatriate students an experience of another context and setting, where their counter parts grow up. Some of these students come back later to spend longer time in rural India as volunteers in the schools. They value this learning experience. For some of them, it has been a valuable transforming experience. 

Children need a wider exposure to realities of life  and opportunities of learning first hand. A family friend mentioned to me that their children, when give a choice would prefer to visit a children's home, where socially disadvantaged children are looked after, rather than go to an amusement park in the shopping mall. 

I wish more and more families would offer a holistic formative education to their children!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Rest for Readiness

These two sculptures of horses placed outside the main entrance of a well known institution in south India has drawn my attention for reflection. As I have had some contacts and conversations with the founder of the institution, I was even more touched by the message they represent. 

The first horse sculpture is positioned at a most visible spot on a stand alone pedestal surrounded by well trimmed hedge plants. This is the position that a racing horse would acquire before and after a race. It is a position of rest to increase alertness, focus and priming into action. I have come across such resting spots for horses in stables and racing tracks. 

This invites us to consider one dimension of rest- rest for readiness. This meaning is closely related to the practice of retreat, when people withdraw from their routine ways of living to a  pre-planned rhythm of spending time, focussing on one's inner resources and turning attention to Godward to feel replenished, restored and renewed. This a common monastic practice where its leaders take time away from responsibilities to ponder, listen, and prepare themselves for new opportunities. 

Such times of rest has three good practices.

 It is a time of withdrawal from the regular rhythm of meetings, telephone conversations, social engagements. This relieves a person from tiredness, demands. There is better order to the day  and personal regulation of time during such a time rest. 

It is a time of engagement on the purpose for which this time of rest or retreat is set apart. One may pay attention to one's personal life, a forthcoming challenge or spiritual renewal or holistic well being. The duration of this predetermined rest time is used for the purpose one has chosen. Often this is planned in advance to experience the fulfilment of the purpose.

It is also a time of looking forward. Often such times of rest or retreat bless us with insights and discoveries, which would help in revising our lives, mission or priorities. We can return to our regular rhythm frorm such occasions of rest with an inner urge to monitor our circumstances rather than surrender to our circumstances. It is as though, there is  new energy, enthusiasm and emotional preparedness to be fully present to our given situation.  

The second sculpture of the horse is symbolic of this readiness for a reaching out. The facial composure and posture of the body convey the readiness for race.

The message from these two sculptures is too obvious, that we can ill afford to ignore. It calls us to rest for readiness.  

Our lives need in between times of rest. It is different from taking a holiday, which is often for a change, leisure or relaxation. We need holidays and seasons of rest, both having different purposes.

The writer of the book of Hebrews in the new testament in chapter 4, referred to a promise of 'entering into His rest', which people of God are blessed with. It is when we prepare ourselves by setting apart time to return to an interior consciousness, we may be carried into an experience of 'rest', which is communion with the Lord of our lives. It is from such an experience, we can work restfully or extend the reality of communion to all that we do.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)