The three rose flowers convey three different messages as they face the incessant rain in our garden.
The first one is drooping, the second rose looks drenched and the third rose appears bright and colourful with only few water drops on the petals!
I come across similar experiences, which families face while negotiating difficult circumstances.
There are families who feel down cast and heavy of heart finding it hard to face the daily demands on them. They appear bereft as loneliness and helplessness grip them and cloud the perception of possibilities ahead.
A second group of families are those who endure the adverse situations although feel drained of energy of enthusiasm sometimes. They hold on believing that 'even this would pass away'! They have a future in sight and look forward to better times.
A third set of families are those who stay protected and steadfast and walk through the adverse situations with hope as they carry the lessons of resilience they learned from the past experiences.
It was while listening to a family a few days ago, I was drawn by the convergence of circumstances that disturb the stability and steadfastness in life.
Normally mid life is a time of transitions and challenges for most families. That is a time several changes happen concurrently. The work place environment can become demanding; children are in pre-teen years or are in teenage years needing stability and direction for career path; marital relationship can become stale and distant; economic stress can be unsettling or adults can face early onset of life style related diseases.
I noticed that the buds remain protected in rain. As soon as the buds open they look fresh. It is on the second or third day the flowers droop or appear drenched.
That is the mid life season of the flowers, considering that a rose flower remains open for about five to seven days.
The mid life from early forties to sixties, spreading over about 25 years is the season of mid life, when the 'convergence of disadvantages' can come upon families.
It is during that time, adult life companionship can be an essential support system, that families would need.
Anna and I worshipped in a church for ten years in our mid life where an adult meeting took place after the regular worship service, which the presbyter of the church conducted with considerable understanding. He would visit the homes of families that he thought were in stressful situations during the week. He was like a 'cover' over them to stay anchored in hope and peace.
I want to suggest that if an organisation or institution or any congregation of people want to offer mindful support to families, it is worth focusing on families in mid life.
I wonder whether there would be lot more attention to prepare families for mid-life transitions and accompany families during that season to feel enabled!
The defining and transforming support Anna and I received from friends and companions was during our early mid life when we felt swayed by the 'burdens' that came upon us. They were generous, mindful and enabling to make the transition comfortable.
The family life support programme ought to be a cardinal component of organisations or institutions! It is not just 'management of human resources with protocols and practices of 360 degree appraisals. It ought to be family specific responses to spoken and unspoken needs.
The honourable Supreme Court of India proposed recently that institutions where more than 100 children study, there ought to be a counsellor or social worker to oversee the emotional wellness of the children.
How insightful is that proposal! Is it not applicable to adults in mid life!
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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