08 October, 2023

Between the cup and lip!








 

A garden is a theatre of creative activities. One such engaging scene caught my attention while on the morning watch for bird movements. The Barbets start the day in our garden with a visit to the tree with ripe berries. 

On this occasion the bunch of ripe berries was hanging on the terminal part of a slender long branch. Any weight placed on the branch would cause it to droop and and with movements of Barbet to reach the berries, the branch moved up and down. That movement made it difficult for the Barbet to accurately bite the berries between its beaks.

After a few failed attempts, it managed to pluck one, while being unsteady on a moving branch. I watched this carefully planned persevering movements, till the Barbet got initially just a bit of the pulp, and later the whole berry. Before it flew away after its meal, the Barbet gave away a bird call. That bird call gave me an indication of its mindfulness for its family of birds. Most avians have such a fraternal behaviour, although they also have an instinct to preserve themselves first. 

Another Barbet perched in the nutmeg tree close by, flew to the berry tree, probably hearing the Barbet's bid call. It looked around, and suddenly flew and returned with a mouthful of berries. That barbet was more experienced to fetch its food. It was such a quick move that I could not capture the sequences in the camera. It was like a trapeze artist in a circus, who lets go of his swing and flies to the opposite side to be captured by the other swinging trapeze artist! All in an ultrashort time!





Usually the parents of six month old baby, when they offer the weaning foods, feed the baby as the hand-mouth co-ordination is only evolving to carry the food from the plate to the mouth. But between nine months and one year, most babies start practicing self feeding, although the child would need some assistance. They start their journey to feed themselves in incremental steps, till by two to three years, most children are able to feed themselves fully. 

This journey between the 'cup and lip' is a solitary journey. The longer a child is fed, as it is done now days, while making the child watch the TV, the longer is the time a child would need to develop the skills for self feeding. 

The builder who worked on our broken wall in the last two days, and  restored it, had a moving story about his long journey into being an independent wall builder over about eight years. 


He started as a helper to carry stones to the building site and mix cement with sand to make the binder. Later it was his job to hand over each stone to the mason. Then he progressed to use some implements like hammer to make the granite stone into a fitting shape, to align with other stones. Subsequently he picked up the skills to plan for the gradient of the wall, while building upwards. The last step was to learn the art of building the foundation. This whole process he said was tedious and and demanding. The masons he worked with were harsh and a few of them would not share any information and kept some professional secrets to themselves. One mason with whom he worked was an enthusiast to teach skills to others. 

For him now, the journey from the cup to the lip was long and tiring. Now with thirty years of experience behind him,  he uses is skills well to hep those who assist him to learn. 

I received an invitation yesterday for a conference,  which is organised by a professional, who helped me to organise an international conference, twenty five years ago. From being a professional working in the department, this person moved on to get more qualified and begin a specialty in a prestigious medical school in India. Seeing this person rise to this level of leadership and acceptance brought much joy and contentment. That person had a long journey, to be able to be in this responsible position in the speciality. 

Another former colleague is forging in to a new specialty of counselling and is taking the first step to get formally trained. This interest in family counselling arose from the first hand experience in being involved with families who needed accompaniment. This too will be along journey for that person. 

As I spend most of the day in the quiet room below, since retirement in June 2023, which was our former garage, I am surrounded by photographs of memories of people, places and events of the last forty years, since Anna and I moved into  Child Development pursuit forty years ago. 


I recall many who contributed immensely in our journey to foster a response to the needs of developmentally challenged children in few places in India. To those, who helped us to travel between the 'cup and lip', let me present our tributes of gratefulness with fruits from our garden, which we and the Barbets relish!


Each of the significant experiences, which formed our lives had a gestational period, to give us a sense of how they would be formative!

All of us continue journeying forward, remembering that the latter years are often more blessed than the former years.

M.C .Mathew (text and Photo)

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