08 September, 2021

Giving and forgiving!


The above picture symbolises the mood that had sent in to my inner world for the past nine days. A feeling of drooping under the weight of circumstances which made me feel heavy and constrained. All my longing to see the child development initiative that I was involved in the last nine years in the place where I work, seemed to be at risk of suffering loss due to multiple factors. The fact that some leaders of the institution in the recent months have wondered about its viability in the future, dragged me into this grieving mood.  

On one day, when I was reeling under a sense of anguish and loss of hope, I noticed the sky looking at me, while I was walking to the car park. The brilliant array of colours of the evening sky with the setting sun sending darkness to the earth gave me an insight that stayed with me to ponder upon. 

There is light and shadow, which go together. 

A family who kept coming, since they first visited us with their child on the 45th day after his birth for advice following complications at birth visited us again recently. With him now getting ready to go to pre-school, the family mentioned about the direction they received through their visits to us. The parents spoke about the dark period in their lives and the light that they see now for the future of their child. 



It is while pondering over this comment,  I realised that my journey in the last forty years has been with families who faced darkness in their lives. Now in my dark time, this family came to bring some light to my path!

As I sat in the veranda of our home on Sunday with the above thoughts in my mind, I noticed the Papaya tree in our garden with its fruits in its stem and flowers above!

I sometimes have wondered ever since one professional told me six months ago, that 'my golden years are over' and it was time that 'I retire'. I have had episodic doubts about my continuation in being involved with children and families. But the sight of this Papaya tree bearing flowers as it grows older refreshed me with a purpose left for me till I am able!


Almost six months of enduring journey wondering about my purpose professionally, ever since I heard the suggestion to close my professional involvement! 

During the last nine days, I have been taken through a journey of recovery and a new direction for my life!

It is the third time since I started writing this blog in 2012, that I took an absence from blogging for a week or more. All the three occasions were due to a major upheaval in my life pertaining to my sense of direction at difficult times. 

Life is a discovery journey! I feel good that it has happened for me one more time at an opportune time. In another five days, I enter the tenth year of work in the place where I am currently involved! 

Life is for Living and Learning! 

I discover now that seasons such as I have been through is to grow in 'giving and forgiving'!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

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