Language of peace

I visited a couple in their home last week, in a town in one of the north eastern states, who have been involved in initiating peace dialogues in stressful and traumatic situations globally. They continue this peace dialogue with an encouraging outcome even now, which is diffusing tension between tribal communities where they live. I was encouraged by three things, he said.

Whenever any person is comfortable to say, 'I am sorry', it melts all counter arguments or justifications. He had many stories to illustrate this, including a recent one, when, he noticed two motorists quarrelling over the right of way and becoming angrier. He turned to them and said, 'I am sorry that the traffic light at this junction can be sometimes erratic. So go your way. Both of you and your vehicles are safe'. May be his sober voice, its content or his towering personhood or nobility, both the motorists said, sorry to each other and drove away. 

Another valuable facilitating process is to seek truth and insist on being truthful. He personally knows Bishop Desmond Tutu and shared his experiences of conversations with him, about the logic behind the 'Truth and Reconciliation' commission, Bishop Tutu  undertook with the blessing of the then president of South Africa, Nelson Mandela. It is 'truth that shall set you free' according to Jesus of Nazareth. In a meeting held to decide on the extent of punishment to a doctor, who did not turn up to attend a patient, but called up someone's to attend, was honest to admit his fault.  He was known to be diligent in his work. The meeting concluded with a decision to give him an exhortation, rather than take severe action which they had initially thought of doing.  There is healing, renewal and restoration when truth is confessed and revealed.

The third means for peace process is desire for change. A mother shared in a consultation that, she was not able to accommodate  the erratic social behaviour of her teenage daughter. When all the counselling at home failed to make her aware of the consequences of her at risk behaviour, the parents sought professional help. Over a three week period, their daughter expressed her desire to change because, she felt supported through the professional help, to face the change process. That resolved the stress at home for parents and their daughter. 

I felt most encouraged by what I heard of a life time commitment for peace and settling disputes. That gave me yet another inspiration to consider this vocation for myself. I have formal qualifications and some experience in dispute resolution. 

M.C.Mathew(text an photo)