The far view from our cottage is a long stretch of vegetations stretching across the field to a small hill on the farther end, which is the next village.
In this stretch of plants, trees and undergrowth, there is flourishing bird and aquatic life !
On most part of the day, birds fly between their flight stations.
There are occasions in the morning and evening, some birds stay perched in this cable looking around and sometimes facing our cottage!
We become aware of their presence only when they chirp ! That is a call to greet!
This habit of birds brings another message !
They come visit to befriend!
This language of social regard is what they come to express each day!
They come to give themselves socially !
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
I noticed this Bulbul in our garden, perched safely under foliage when it was raining.
I also traced its movements in the garden. It moved from the safety of a sheltering branch under the foliage into the open, perching in lesser strong twigs and finally on a slender twig and a broken branch!
The Bulbul was singing while perched in the slender town and a broken branch !
I happened to remember a music composition by Param vir, which was presented in two parts in an opera in the early nineteen eighties. The story is of an old musician in a king's court based on a tale of 'Guttil Jatak'. The strings of the musical instrument breaks one by one, and yet the music becomes even more enchanting and magical! The music transcends the instrument and transforms the listeners into a moving experience of bliss. The music did not get disrupted when the strings broke one by one, instead even more captivating.
The Bulbuls's movement from the safety of the protected foliage to the open sky and singing while perched in slender and broken branches of a tree, brings out an inner secret about the soulful singing when it is windy and raining !
It is as though the adversity of wind and rain outside brings out a melody from deep within !
The Bulbul's was a downward movement from safety to vulnerability!
From being in that state of vulnerability, its tuneful and loud singing was a call for endurance and hope to other avians in its proximity and beyond, threatened by the weather.
There is an awakening within us of something unusual when one is threatened by an adversity!
I heard a widow with two young children, now in her late thirties, referring to a recent loss of her husband, testifying that they 'lived to the fullest although short lived'! There was a contentment amidst grief and loss !
It is not security that gives depth and enlightenment in life! It is often walking through bewildering and disturbing experiences.
Dr L.B.M. Jospeh was the director of Christian Medical College, Vellore for two terms of seven years each. Referring to the season of two months old strike in 1975 sponsored by one section of the staff paralysing the work of the hospital, he once said, that it was the best season in his tenure, when he saw, 'God carrying the institution forward through a storm' ! With the local government doing everything possible to support the striking employees, the local collector withdrawing the police protection and arresting the associate direct of the hospital, a disaster was in sight! But what happened in 48 hours was a respite from the government action by th intervention of the central government and the employees calling off the strike. This year is the 50 th anniversary of that historic turning point in the life of Christian Medical College, which is 125 years old this year. The out-patient numbers which used to be less than thousand a day went beyond three thousand following the strike in about six months! The college and hospital received a momentum of growth and transition to a new level of its vocation and excellence since then! The new life it received when it was almost 'broken' carried it forward to be what it is today with new hospitals in Bhagayam, RUHSA, Ranipet and Chittor with about fifteen thousand patients visiting the hospitals each day!
There is a soulful song when we are made to go through adversities or voluntarily choose to move out from being sheltered to be vulnerable!
The tuneful bird calls of the Bulbul from its perch in the slender and broken branches resonate within me !
M.C.Mathew (text and Photo )
The photos above are the feeding time behaviour of two Bulbuls, while it was drizzling in our garden! They arrived together chirping to each other on to the feeding table and related to each other in a way that they turned the meal time into communion between them!
They chirped to each other, looked at each other, looked around them and took turns to feed from the bowl. They flew away together!
I noticed the attentiveness and nearness they communicated to each other!
They remained present to each other!
Anna and I witnessed the pain and agony of a friend, when she lost her husband in a sudden cardiac event while travelling! When friends gathered at the air port to receive his body and the rest of the family, it was a scene of loss, grief and anguish. The two young children remained in a daze! Rest of us watching the friend in grief kept wondering how she would adjust to the loss of an intimate companionship! They both worked in a rural mission hospital in central India.
The sense of loss of that intimate presence to each other was palpable in the air while we waited at the air port!
The sorrow of loss overtook us, more than the question of 'why' this happened to a person in his early forties!
Someone who knew him from his medical school years described him, as 'one who lived serving God, his family and others'!
Such sorrowful experiences bring back the profound gift we are to each other as husband and wife in our family life!
The sacredness of relationship and intimacy of fellowship in our family life are to be treasured!
Some of us in the air port were those who live our post retirement lives. The conversation among us was the recollections of experiences and memories of this family!
The way the 'farewell' occasion caught this family by surprise was what lingers on in my mind. This doctor had his regular medical check up recently and the results were good.
We are awakened to this reality that we live as a gift to each other and that ought to be a treasured experience! The 'rush or hurry' of pace although can be natural because of work responsibilities, the endearing life experience at home is what gives life the fulfilling dimension to living! This couple lived their lives authentically endearing to each other and nurturing their children. Their lives symbolise a lamp of enlightenment to us! The abrupt disruption causes distress! The lamp lit by their lives shall remain burning to show, how family lives are to be lived!
The Bulbuls brought a window of their experience of communion. This couple leave with us a message of love that creates fullness in family life!
This is graceful living!
M.C.Mathew (text and photo)
A Bulbul was perched on a broken branch of the nutmeg tree in our front garden, when the wind was strong and the dark clouds had gathered on the sky!
I noticed it looking in all directions!
Then came forth the bird calls in succession, tunefully and loudly! It certainly had a message for the avians around!
It too flew away following this!
Perched in a terminal branch which was broken and weak and yet singing tunefully from within!
Is this not akin to the song of the soul!
The song from within is independent of circumstance!
With heavy rain from yesterday and electricity switched off due to windy weather, the Bulbul arrived with a message of cheer!
The broken twig was not a safe place to sing from, yet its song was tuneful as before!
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
The first bud stands alone without any reference to the plant in the photograph.
The second and third photos of buds show the plants from which the bud emerges.
I have a suspicion that some children grow up loosely associated with his or her family.
Some other children grow up truly experiencing the sense of belonging to the family!
A child is born in a family and grows up within the family!
How intimately the family relates to the child is the defining character for the wholistic development of the child !
I have a suspicion that there is a tendency to view children in terms of what a family can offer to pursue his or her education and prospects of employment later!
I come across many situations when a child does not have an affinity towards his or family due to multiple reasons!
From listening to many families I find three choices parents make which help a child to feel anchored emotionally in the family.
The choice that a family makes towards the formative years of a child in the pre-school years! A mother chose to be available for her son for three years till he was at pre-school, by taking long leave from her work. The father and mother delayed having a second child till their son was sufficiently grounded emotionally in the family.
The place and position which parents offer to a child at home in the pre-school years! I remember how a three year old girl in a home was the one who chose the menu for the week and helped her mother to cook. During the cooking time, her mother often sang nursery thymes and other songs that the girl at three years was tunefully singing and was ready to start her lessons on the key board. The girl felt wanted and valued with a role that was designated to her by her parents.
The formative experience which parents create for a pre-school child is responsible to make the attachment process intimate ! One family had a project two or three times in month in which the child was involved. What fascinated the boy was the different designs and formulations with the lego blocks, when the father and son worked together. The construction which they created remained on the chid's table for a week. The bulletin board had all the photos of the designs they had made. All the conversations associated with the planning and constructing, according to the mother was exciting because of the exploratory conversations of different ideas of their child.
The time and attention which parents offer, the active involvement of a child at home from early years and the creation of interactive process together create the rootedness in the family!
A child in the early years till about ten years is at a critical phase when his or her formative process is active and dependent on the parenting attention!
A family positioned the TV in a corner of the house and not in the main lobby or dining area! This meant that hey gave primacy of attention to conversation, interaction, playing together and doing activities which brought togetherness !
A bud in a rose bush has no life apart from the plant! Its fullness emerges from the plant.
A child is enveloped by the family and is intimately associated with the life in the family!
Let nothing come between parents and children in their formative years!
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
