More awaiting !

 

The sight of this one flower with three buds caught my attention. When one flower withers away, three others would take its place. 

This dispels the suspense about what shall follow after the flower is no more there. 

It is a message to me as I get sometimes about tomorrow and thereafter!

I was glad to recollect that there were flowers in our garden almost every day during the last six months !

That experience brings another message! Life can be lived restfully and gratefully! 

The thoughts about future are healthy; but being driven by tomorrow to live today is stretching to be anxious!

I wondered if every days gets a good closure. A good closure is when one can offer a grateful farewell to each day knowing that tomorrow shall bring what we need!

Such an attitude offers a comfort level because of the completeness or wholeness each day brings. The regrets get subsumed, disappointments lose their grip upon us and gratefulness takes over to fill our inner ambience!

Each day is a continuum of the day before and the day after !

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

The givenness !

The golden hour of light conditions bring the best of hues of colour!

The spectrum of colours from yellow to pink in different merging shades is the high light of the flower cluster above. 

This imagery helped me to get a glimpse of human life from birth. It was when I saw the picture of an infant on the first day of his birth, I got a sense of who that infant would become during infancy and thereafter! 

The flowers have a given colourfulness and radiance!

So it is with us. We bear and witness to the transcendent God, whose being within us makes our share the fullness we are blessed with. 

Arising out of ideas developed by Plato and Aristotle, the insight about the Great Chain of being was pursued by philosophers. Ken Wilber who explored this further might have drawn his roots of thinking from  Augustinian and Thomistic theology to stratify our levels of existence at five different levels: matter, life, mind, soul and spirit. Ken Wilber suggested that 'Physics studies matter, biology looks at life, psychology at the mind, theology at the soul and mysticism at the spirit'.

According Plotinus, a third century Egyptian philosopher, who ' taught that this supreme, totally transcendent One, contains no division, multiplicity or distinction and beyond all categories and objects. The One is not simply a sum for all things but is prior to everything and source of everything that exists. The One contains everything that exists, just as white contains the entire spectrum of light that we witness in the rainbow. All things that exist emanate from the One.  The emanation ex den (out of God) confirms the absolute transcendence of the One  and makes the unfolding of the cosmos a consequence of the existence of the One' (page 24 Spirituality and wakening self  by David G. Benner). 

It was an unusual radiance of flowers with an exuberant blending of colours which awoke in me a sense of the givenness of God the creator! Jesus of Nazareth further affirmed the nature of the incarnational God, although transcendent!

David Benner adds another thought to this transcendent God: ' Just as the sun emanates light without appearing to diminish itself or mirror produces reflections of objects tat in no way diminish or alter the mirror, so too the emanations from the One in no way diminish or alter the One' (p 24).  I like the way David Benner makes a statement of clarity to bring immense encouragement. ' Nothing exists that has not come from God and nothing exists that is not in God and God in it. Though God is beyond the material world and not reducible to it, the divine life interpenetrates every atom of the created order' (p25). 

The colourful radiance is a reflection of God's givenness. An infant born to a family brings the image and presence of God into their home!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

 

Openness to know the interior!

 

The above flowers are small and fragile. But their colourful and resilient presence brings a message to ponder upon. With the wind and heavy rainfall of the last few days, these flowers continue to be present with no loss of their resolve to stay their life time!

I have had this question surfacing with me for the last few days:  How do I respond to adverse situations!

I often returned to the passage in the new testament of the Bible where there is a reference to living in peace as much s possible: " If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men" (Romans 12:18). 

One step I took during this year was to send letters to a few people form I felt estranged, to which I received replies except from a few.  

One's inner wellness is an experience that others also contribute. It is when there is a level of wellness or comfort with others the inner ambience becomes delightful and gracious.  

In the book, Spirituality and the Awakening Self, David G. Benner presented the landscape of  'the sacred journey of transformation'. The two words, Awakening and Awareness that he elaborated on page 5 of the book brought freshness of thought: ' Each moment of awareness is a small awakening, and each awakening -no matter how insignificant  it might seem-can be a doorway to becoming.  As an object of awareness, nothing is too small to empower such an awakening. Awareness of anything opens us to the transcendent. This is awareness is so central to prayer'. 

The awareness of the inner ambience of wellness and the fabric of relationship with others are two realities, that would need regular audit and revisit. 

The saying of Jesus of Nazareth, in the sermon on the Mount has a profound message: 'If therefore you are presenting an offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering' (Matthew 5: 23-24). 

I often have wondered whether such a practice can be real!

I sent a message to someone whose name appeared to me during a quiet time, wondering if there was any distance caused, on account of me. His response was open and conciliatory that I realised such acts of thoughtfulness help in making our interior increasingly integrated. Another person to whom I sent a message is yet to reply. This is an ongoing process of making our interior grow in openness and be confessional. 

It is the interior  of our life which is closest to us. If that becomes the place of self knowing, we find the corridor to the path of living in the light!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

From the beginning !

Jean Vanier founded L’Arche communities all over the world where people with

 

and without disabilities live together. Jean exquisitely describes how to hold

 another in relationship. He demonstrates how to have lightly cupped hands as if

 holding a tiny, fragile bird. Not too open so the bird tumbles out, and not

 grasping so the bird suffocates. Lightly cupped hands support another while

 allowing freedom for change and transformation. Lightly cupped hands even

 allow another to fly away.

We are learning to hold those we love with lightly cupped hands! With lightly

 cupped hands, we are enabled to welcome those we love as they face the issues

 of their lives and arrive at their answers only providing a safe place to share

 the depths of their spiritual lives and honouring the decisions they make.  By

 providing sacred space and a compassionate listening presence, we offer room

 for  our companions to attend to God’s ever-present invitation to develop

 inwardly, make choices that have eternal significance and offer service to our

 world.

The copy of the first blog post above, which I wrote on 30 June 2012, 

when Anna created the blog site for me, brings many happy memories

of blogging for 13 years!

It has evolved to be a daily exercise of having a conversation with 

myself!

 

It surprises me to think that shortly the number of blog 

posts would cross 5000 in 13 years !

I took time to read through some of them to recollect the journey path I 

covered during this period of 13 years. I feel grateful for the journey of 

Life, Living and Learning I experienced during these years. 

Now, I have a sense of deepening the inner journey and becoming 

more familiar with the the strands that weave the inner life! 

I proceed on this inner journey with an openness to discover the  truth  

that resides within, with a desire to be authentic and be generous 

towards others! What I shall become is also a fruit of what I receive 

from others as I move along! 

I am drawn by a desire to be present to God and those who come into 

my life, although I have a tendency to loose my path often with 

distractions and short sights. 

 

It brings comfort to know that God is present in the biography of our  

life! 

I feel grateful that I am blessed with the companionship of Anna in 

this journey of life!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The giving time!

 

The exuberance in plant life!

The buds and sprouting leaves as a prelude to hide more buds make the garden look different as winter sets in !

The plants receive to give!

The plants do not hoard or store or accumulate -they give!

A call to live with a such an orientation!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Moving beyond oneself !

A red vented Bulbul takes longer time at the feeding table, because it pauses and looks around in between taking a mouthful. I have noticed that to be pattern for other birds of this species. 

The red vented Bulbuls visiting the feeding table are yet to become familiar with Barbets and squirrels who also come to feed. Their tendency was to fly away when other birds arrive.

But in about two weeks since they first arrived, they got used to other birds and share the feeding table with them now. 

I find this fascinating to watch !

The comfort and cordiality birds show to each other is striking!

The red vented Bulbuls have even got used to squirrels. 

The fraternal sense the birds show towards each other is a delightful sight most mornings. The Barbets might be an exception when they like chase others away. 

It is more common to see the comfort level in display. 

I hear and read the language of divisiveness from political leaders. In the earlier years such a language was heard during election season. Now it vitiates the in between times too. 

We move forward materially and economically ; but we move backward with more intolerance towards others who are different from the majority!

In the book, A monk in the world,  Wayne Teasdale wrote on the world as a community. Let me quote from page 9: "We are social beings who grow in relation to others; we are defined through our relationships with them. Our ancestors lived their lives in the bosom of  a supportive tribe. Every need was met within the context of that tribe. The tribe was community. When we moved out of tribes and into extended families and then into nuclear families, we gained greater freedom and mobility, but something was lost: a fundamental sense of security based on the experience of belonging. We must seek to rediscover and recover community in our lives. Community gives us psychological balance, promotes healthy human development, creates stability in the midst of change, and acts an anchor that gives us focus and calm- a timeless, restful and deeply human order. Community also helps us to meet the needs of all for food, shelter, recreation, work, study, sharing the tasks of child rearing, the whole complex of spiritual life. All are supported through the group". 

I get a sense of such a spirit of shared experiences, when I watch the birds feed at the feeding table in our garden forming a community !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

 

Unmasking the hidden!

 

I spotted two sunbirds in a bush in our front garden, one purple romped male sunbird and another a female sunbird. The male sunbird flew away without looking around for flowers to gather nectar. The female sunbird looked around and spotted a Hibiscus flower and flew towards to gather nectar. 

What was common between both of them was the swift body movements and an alert state to look for flowers.  The Hibiscus flower was several feet away, but the Sunbird flew directly towards the flower. They  have large eyes with good distant vision.  

They stay in one site for a short period. Their light weight helps them to fly fast and high. It is when they fly high they catch insects. 

What fascinated me today was the sunbird's detective sense! That is its 

unique skill !

In a conversation with a group of parents yesterday, I explored with them about their sense of awareness of multiple intelligences in their children. Although parens are aware, their search to recognise any of the seven domains of multiple intelligences is not active. 

I feel that the academic dimension receives so much attention and consumes time that young children, who ought to have a wide variety of experiences to develop their multiple intelligences do not get enough guidance in the class room or at home. 

Now the traction towards entertainment in the TV, and mobile phones occupy the leisure time even form pre-school years. 

To a suggestion to a group of parents a few months ago, to introduce picture based story book reading,  drawing and colouring, singing and action songs. athletic activity, dancing, and playing outdoor, to pre-school children, some parents sent messages about the surprise discovery of the interests of children in these areas. That encouragement brought an awareness about the prospects of augmenting the multiple intelligences in young children!

Let me suggest that there is so much more interests, skills and aptitude resident in pre-school children, well beyond what is often known to their parents. If only parents can be active explorers of the interests of their children early in life, children would grow up wider in experiences and interests! 

I wish parents have a separate child development plan for each of their children!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The message from the body language!

A Bulbul's reminds me of how there is a neat practice of feeding. Once at the feeding bowl, it gives a bird call and looks at the food before taking a mouthful between the beaks.  

The feeding is a ritual with this pattern most of the time!

The Barbet, Myna, the red vented Bulbul and squirrel follow another ritual!

A bird is known by its behaviour. 

A Bulbul is comfortable when I approach it with the camera for a close up view. Its strange anxiety is not pronounced. 

The body language and non verbal cues we send out in our communication is perhaps substantial which helps others to interpret our spoken words. 

I remember a remark an elderly gentleman made for my apology for coming late for the meeting: 'Your face does not look apologetic'!

The matching of our thoughts and words with the body language make communication authentic! 

It is what and how we feel within, which would get expressed in our face and body language while in conversation! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

The new and ageing !

The differ stages of flowering to flowers ready to fade away are visible in the garden. 

That represents the continuum of life from the new to the ageing process of flowers!

When I watched the ageing flowers with the petals showing signs of dullness and dryness, it occurred to me that they are about to fade away after having been swaying in the wind and staying vibrant and colourful. 

The last  photo is striking. The ageing flower is accompanied by two flowers in their opening stages. 

That symbolises the transitions in life! The young becomes older; the new arrives to continue the flowering!

In the book, The making of a modern elder, wisdom at work, Stay Relevant in the Second Half of Your career,  the author Chip Conley quotes Cicero (106-43 BC) : 'It is not by muscle, speed, or physical dexterity that great things are achieved, but by reflection, force of character and judgement; in these qualities old age is usually not only not poorer, but it is even richer"!

In the section on What's your vintage on page 3 of the book,  he builds an argument in favour of modern elders as those 'growing whole rather than growing old' (p7). 

"May be the elder's role is to accelerate the process of self awareness in younger generations as power is bering thrust on them so quickly, before they are fully baked. Rather than older generations being less valuable due to lack of specialised knowledge with an ever increasing speed of obsolesce, may be older generations are more valuable because they can help balance that narrow speciality thinking with the ability to see the bigger picture"(p9).

" And yet, it is the perfect time for elders to make a come back, thanks to thier ability to synthesise wise, empathetic solutions that no robot could ever imagine. In an era of machine intelligence, emotional intelligence and empathy-something older people have in spades- are more valuable than ever. The more high-tech we become, the more high touch we desire" (p11).

The ageing flowers appear to be ready to fade away, but what they remind us is the full life they lived ! Their presence, having been ornamental in a garden,  is an authentic history ! 

Now Chip Conley is proposing a new role for elders- to bring wholeness, emotional intelligence and empathy at work place. He attributes Good judgement, Unvarnished insight, Emotional intelligence, Holistic thinking and Stewardship as the gifts an elder can bring at work place (p 16-18). 

The quote he has from Edith Wharton in page I9 on, How you become a modern elder,  is worth pondering upon: " In spite of illness, in spite even of the arch-enemy, sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration, if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways". 

Yes, the rose flowers now ageing and about to fade away, were present in the garden vibrant and colour for a season!  

A modern elder is such a person with a history and biography that would still resonate in human hearts because he or she lived to show the way for others to walk in to continue !

M.C.Mathew ( text and photo)

The advantage of foreknowing !

 

One avian behaviour is to look far into the distance, by perching at the highest point in the garden. This intentional habit in the mornings before they fly to different flight stations is a regular practice in the morning!

Some birds do the same in the evening too, to choose the shelter for the night!

It is on seeing this a few years ago, I too started to set apart time in the morning to travel into the day and in the evening to wind down for the day!

What are we to look forward to as we begin the day! There are the expected or planned events. It is a good practice to have a detailed rehearsal of the different events of the day. In so doing, it is good to remember the places one shall visit, the people one  might meet and the topics of conversations. If a travel is involved, think of the travel itself. Such an anticipation makes one familiar with the events of the day and enhance our readiness. 

Each event needs a prelude and postlude. The prelude is to prepare for the event and postlude is for personal debriefing. 

This helps us to have an inner readiness to enter into an event or conversation, at the end of which the postlude offers a transition time to prepare for the next event.  

A day is not therefore a flow of events or activities, but a well structure and monitored experience. To be present to experience the inner movements that take place during an involvement is a good practice to move to live at the plane of exploring the meaning of each occasion. 

Every day, when lived with such a close monitoring of the flow of events, we can  protect ourselves from the weariness of involvements. Instead each event can add a refreshing touch to the day. It is when we feel the meaning of each event there is an inner resonance of clarity, affirmation or encouragement.

At the end of the day during a debriefing time, one takes time to classify events into three categories- pleasant experiences, unpleasant experiences and events which need revisiting! It is when we audit the events under the three categories, one is able to converge on the meaning and integrate them to our growth experience. Thos of us who write a daily or weekly journal would find such an exercise valuable to make connection with our inner thoughts, aspirations and change process. 

Each of us is growing  and changing each day! How much  we know of this process taking place within our soul! To be inwardly alive and grow in awareness, we need to be learning from our thought world and insights. 

We had to make two detours yesterday on driving back home after shopping at night when the road was dark and it was raining heavily. These are roads that I have been used to for years. On one occasion Anna had to get the help of the google map. It reminded me of the risk of loosing the sense of direction at cross roads and bifurcations of the road. 

The same risk in a physical journey applies to the inner journey. It is only by navigating our inner life, we keep on the forward path! 

Looking inward and forward is what makes looking beyond possible!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Stressful events!

Following the thunderstorm and heavy rain yesterday evening, I took a walk in the garden. 

I found some flowers above least affected by the rain. They remained radiant bearing the water drops as a decoration on their colourful flowers. 

As against that resilient feature, there were some flowers whose photographs are below which seemed to droop in the rain, but the flowers escaped from being damaged in the rain. They too withstood to some extent the harming effect of wind and rain. 

The flowers below looked battered by the rain, although the buds did not get affected probably! The fragile petals of the flowers got soaked and had their life shortened!

This sight gave me an opportunity to reflect on stress upon our lives! Each of us experiences and  processes stress differently ! 

There are some who are resilient and encounter stress as formative and challenging, to live above the dragging effect of stress. They by habit and orientation find stress as an occasion to gather the inward strength and stay anchored soulfully. Being present to the stress with an inner resolve to face it, dissolves the traction of the stress. Facing a stressful situation for such people is an invitation to grow in inner strength ! Life is a journey through mountain and valley experiences for such people. 

Then there are the wavering group who feel threatened by the situation of stress and feel weary to engage the situation resourcefully. When the acute stress creates an inner flutter and chaos, they feel held by the imagination of hope beyond the current situation. They oscillate between hope and dismay initially, but settle down when supported and cared for. They feel carried when friends and family become their resource to move on !

A third group succumb to their vulnerability to stressful situations and loose the momentum to move on! They can get stranded or feel lost! It is when people stay too long in such a depleted situation of hope , they slide further into a gloom or despair. Many face such situations alone without anyone to lean on. If such a situation is on account of marital stress, the care of children becomes another responsibility to which many respond thoughtfully and some fall short of upholding children.

Since living in a rural setting for the last 13 years we listen to stories of people belonging to all the above three groups. 

It was this awareness which created within us a desire to be available on on-line for those who have a story to share and need a debriefing experience. The listening times we have created weekly for regular callers and others seem to offer us a link with people who suffer silently! Often the financial stress gets attended to; but the emotional stress or grief stays on!

Dr Sunny Philip a former chaplain at CMC Vellore, currently living in Melbourne, offers trauma awareness and support course through an organisation, Transform 4 Life. The team of professionals in his team is active to make trauma care an activity through friendship support. The volunteers who get trained in trauma care become activists to initiate friendship through listening. 

The Post-traumatic Stress Disorder is a well recognised state of emotional disorder; but there is a spectrum of symptoms of distress following a stressful experience. 

What is needed is to be familiar with them to befriend people at their level of need and support them to find their recovery path! 

It was while noticing the effects of yesterday's thunderstorm upon flowers in our garden, I was awakened to the reality of a spectrum of impact of stress upon human soul!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)