09 December, 2025
Hope that keeps us going !
08 December, 2025
First Experiences 1980 !
The beginning, living and ending !
There is a description of life on earth, that these three photos communicate- birth, living and end. The continuum is well expressed in the last photo.
The now of life, represents a history and future!
Only as much as living is connected with the history and the journey ahead, the living gets esteemed to a level of consciousness of its preciousness and sacred mission.
The living process witnesses to our history and future !
Each of us is a witness to our ancestry, heritage and parentage. We live reflecting and radiating our formative pathway. The contentment, integrity and altruism that form the inner ambience of our lives currently point to the path we would pursue in our future.
Living our life, remembering from where we have come and where we are going is a virtuous mission!
According to Erick Erickson's theory of psycho-social formation, each person is on a journey towards becoming an elder as he or she crosses the mid sixties. An elder is a giver, provider and pathfinder for others.
We grow up therefore, learning gradually to bequeath what we have been given in life, to others after us.
This is the spring time in one's life when life becomes a formative gift to others!
I feel urged to quote from the book, Falling upward by Richard Rohr frpm page 160:
" No one can keep you from the second half of your own life except yourself. Nothing can inhibit your second journey except your own lack of courage, patience, and imagination. Your second journey is all yours to walk or to avoid. My conviction is that some falling apart of the first journey is necessary for this to happen, so do not waste a moment of time lamenting poor parenting, lost job, failed relationship, physical handicap, gender identity, economic poverty, or even tragedy of any kind of abuse. Pain is part of the deal. If you do not walk into the second half of your own life, it is you, who do not want it. God will always give you exactly what you truly want and desire. So make sure you desire, desire deeply, desire yourself, desire God and desire everything good, true, and beautiful.
All emptying out is only for the sake of a great outpouring. God, like nature, abhors all vacuums and rushes to fill them".
Richard writes further:
" Most of us tend to think of the second half of life as largely getting old, dealing with health issues, and letting go of our physical life, but the whole thesis of this book is exactly opposite. What looks like falling can largely be experienced as falling upward and onward, into broader and deeper world, where the soul has found its fullness, is finally connected to the whole and lives inside the Big Picture. It is not a loss but somehow a gain, not losing but actually winning. You probably have to have met at least one true elder to imagine that this could be true" (p153).
What a profound and realistic view of making our journey to become an elder in the second half of our ;life!
M.C.Mathew (text and photo)
A rose bush and flowers !
07 December, 2025
Relational Presence !
It is occasional to see a pair of Barbets showing hospitality during the meal time towards each other ! They are gregarious feeders and feed in haste taking large chunks of food with each bite. So it was a delight to watch the Barbet pair above, to pause for each other and transform the occasion into a communication time between them. The patience and pause for each other seemed unusual for Barbets. That is what courtship does to birds. They please each other consciously to grow in trustful relationship. They overcome their usual behaviour and become relational and fraternal.
There are three observations I picked up from their presence in the feeding table in our garden.
They were intentionally interested in each other and therefore mindful to take turns in feeding.
They made feeding time a pleasant experience by taking time to feed comfortably.
They flew in together and flew out together, which was different from the usual habit.
It gave me an opportunity to think about husband-wife relationships. How much I show regard towards Anna by looking into her interests and needs? It became an occasion to audit my behaviour! Is the sense togetherness crossing over to more domains in our relationships?
The fifth decade in marriage relationships is a crucial period. Often children would have got married and left home by then. Most couples would have retired from their work place. It is the early season of beginning retirement life for most people.
The retirement is a new experience. Having married children is a new experience. Having grand children is another new experience. Having to find ways to be meaningfully occupied and purposeful on retirement is a new experience. It is also a time when age-related health challenges set in !
When a husband and wife encounter these new experiences, what will hold them together is greater attention to communication and mutuality!
Anna tests my blood sugar level periodically as part of the cardiac protocol that I am used to follow since my by-pass cardiac surgery. The blood sugar parameters show some fluctuations but did not need any attention beyond monitoring the diet. But this time the sugar levels showed more fluctuations. Anna's first response was, 'You will be alright in a week's time with extra care'! What a comforting message! During the last week, that is what Anna did by bringing more regularity in the meal time and food intake. A week later the sugar levels got regularised. I felt moved by the way Anna participated to support and guide me through this process.
This is the way to grow in endearing relationship as a couple when we become older! To be intentionally thoughtful and attentive to each other!
The boundaries as an individual get more porous and transparent and the couple would have a larger shared experiences in marriage relationship, when they grow older. Often a touch of romance of the earlier years would return ! We closed the week yesterday evening, with a meal in a restaurant sharing our favourite food !
M.C.Matthew ( text and photo)
One, Few and Many !
06 December, 2025
Engaging Fear !
Staying in touch as habit !

I noticed the co-feeding of a Barbet and Bulbul followed by anther Barbet arriving when the Bulbul left the feeding table. Later one Barbet was left alone. The last photo is of one Barbet giving a bird call inviting other birds to the feeding table.
I have noticed that Barbets who are less sociable than other birds becoming hospitable at the feeding table.
It is interesting to watch the different behaviour habits of birds at the feeding station.
The feeding station is a meeting place for birds from day break till about 8 in the morning. The second round of feeding is around 10 in the morning. When they return, they stay a longer time at the feeding table.
All birds do not come to feed. They visit to stay in touch with their flight station. That is how they stay in touch with other birds.
To stay in touch seems to be an instinct for some birds.
I get in touch with others when there is a message to convey or I have a need of them to do me a favour. The habit of staying in touch to express feelings of friendship is not so common. Since seeing the behaviour of birds, I send messages to people that I'm not usually in touch with, which became a way to reconnect with people after a while. That has recently widened the contacts and exchanges of greetings.
The social dimension of our life is for promoting fraternal associations to feel relationally part of others. It is when we express our friendly thoughts towards others, they too feel drawn to relate. That is one way of spreading cordiality and regards to promote friendships for mutual edification. It transcends any utilitarian intent. We become a neighbour to others! That is the antidote to overcome a felling loneliness which is a common feeling among people, who are work driven!
M.C.Mathew( text and photo)




















































