The adverse event!

The above series of photos of a rose flower in our garden, which had an unusual way of decay from the usual rose flower made me wonder if an inset was destroying the flower. 

It was towards the end stage of its decay, I noticed a bush grass hopper on a petal. As the shrivelling of the petals started from the periphery and moved on to the centre, it did indicate the possibility of toxins of one or more insects causing this damage. 

The bush grasshopper looked too small to be using this !

Whatever might be responsible for the premature decay of the flower, what is evident is the susceptibility of a flower to adverse situations. 

The mid childhood is a time when a child would normally feel even more drawn towards his or her family! But the opposite can also happen when the home environment and parenting presence do not provide the adequate support and protection.  That is when a child can get enticed by unfortunate temptations!

The flower above did not have its normal life span!

The conversations I hear from some parents is the additional layer of protection that they offer to their children during mid childhood by engaging them in play, being read to, creating conversation times at home, promoting hobbies of interest and expressions of thoughts and ideas in different art forms  and  choices! 

The mid childhood prior to the teenage transition is an opportunity to endow children with wise options and healthy choices! 

When a child in mid-childhood feels the protection of parenting presence, then he or she would feel grounded in the wellness of the home!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

The pause and poise !

The pause and pose of the evening!

This Magpie Robin stayed for a while during the course of its visits to the flight stations in the evening !

This transition from the day to the evening and night caught my attention!

It is when one pauses, the pose of comfort and transition settles into our soul! 

Even the tuneful long bird calls which is the second nature of a Magpie Robin was missing during this transition time! 

The inner stillness and the outer calmness! 

Where does the inner calmness come from!

The birds often carry memories of their daily rhythm and experiences which the outer transient events do not overtake them. 

The intuitive language of their inner self guides them through the happenings around them. The birds in that sense move about guided by the urge from within!

Following a strong wind, while the leaves carpeted the ground,  Bulbuls and Barbets were on the ground, feeding on the berries which too were scattered on the ground during the wind! 

The birds benefitted from the storm and wind!

The pause and poise of the Magpie Robin spring from such a life experience of living by receiving!

The inner calm springs from remembering the learned experiences of life!

Although it might not be an antidote for stress and strife, it presents a window to view life through another optic!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Making home hospitable!

The four photographs of a Sunbird searching, finding and receiving nectar caught my attention. It can receive only if the bird can search and find. What is provided can be actualised only by that responsive behaviour. 

That responsive behaviour feeds the Sunbird and helps in the pollination of the flowers. In that sense the Sunbird is a taker and giver! It is in giving the bird also receives!

This orientation is the avian way of nourishing its environment. I remember an environmentalist speaking about how the birds create forests through bird droppings. He suggested to invite birds into the garden by hanging bird houses for birds to choose to be residents in the garden. 

Birds respond to hospitable environments. 

A family is in the habit of asking their two children who are pre-teenagers about making the home comfortable for them. One suggestion which the parents received from the children was to have a family bulletin board in the dining area, where each person add an interesting information each week. The family mentioned that this gives a focus on conversation during meal time in the evening. Such conversations bring nearness and familiarity to the events taking place in each person's life. It is giving the family a new dimension of quality of appreciation for each other. Each member of family gives to each other and receives from each other!

This is responsible living by promoting relational nearness !

A Sunbird is small bird. But it too is giving in its orientation!

Its composure and confident look is inspiring!

M.C.Mathew( text and photo)

Consume less !

At day break, some Bulbuls begin the day at the feeding table. Then on the day opens up for the birds to pursue their flights, visits, and transits. 

Each day is a mixture of past experiences and unchartered experiences. 

 

Yesterday when a technician came to attend to a fault in our power back up system, he mentioned that the electronic back up system is conditioned to function in a pre-set manner. Occasionally that breaks down in spite of fault free planning. He comented that there can be surprises and set backs!

How much am I ready to face unexpected turn of events each day, without being consumed by the burden associated with it !

The technician answered this question in an appealing way.  'Simplify' whatever we can! He said that if we use the natural day time light optimally the demand  for power supply decreases. 

I noticed this in the behaviour of the Bulbuls. Some Bulbuls visit the feeding station three of four times in a day, where as, most birds come only in the morning or evening. They depend on scavenging the environment for their feed and consider the feeding station as a back up. 

The 'consumer mind set' dominates our thinking sometimes, when we turn to our environment to give us with what we need!  It does not have unlimited reserves. We deplete our environment to satisfy our needs. 

So the call to 'simplify' ! Before the technician left he shared some ideas to converse energy and reduce the load on the back up system! 

His comment was: 'consume less and preserve for future' !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The night ends in Day!

I noticed these three Magpie Robins above, in our garden in one tree at sunset, probably searching for the shelter for the night. 

We have had five Magpie robins perching on the cloth line in our backyard on some nights !

They do not have a permanent place to return to for the night shelter. 

They still have a good quality of life from the behaviour they convey!

They live content with the little they need!

That is a contrast to the craze for more creature comfort humans seek after!

Do we need more to be content !

One message the birds convey is that they find what they need for each day!

These thoughts raise questions within me ! How am I to order my life to be lived, without the burden of tomorrow which takes away the delight of the now!

When I looked out in to the garden, I noticed this rose bush above, with three buds, pointing me to the provision for tomorrow ! The Buds shall open! That is hope giving!

What grounds us in the reality hope is the prospect of receiving!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The silent presence !

This Bulbul pair was silent, but communicating!

Each bird had its focus on the other, from the way they stayed facing each other !

The two aspects of communication in this instance was presence and silence. 

When present, that transcends the need to use words or sounds!

The presence brings nearness and belonging.  There is an inward movement of feeling for each other which got communicated through the attentive look. 

We are used to live in an environment of sounds, noise and verbosity! 

The interior language of affection, mindfulness and nearness sometimes get displaced by all that is external !

I recall an exercise when we were asked to do in a couple communication exercise. We were required to sit quietly looking at each other for about five minutes and write down the experience and discovery one made of the other person. When we read to each other what we wrote about the experience, there was surprise and delight. 

The language of silence is pregnant with insights and truths!

The fifteen minutes or so the Bulbul pair was perched in the tree in our garden gave me an indication of the advanced level of communication skills, birds practice to develop intimacy and trust! This is the language which they use to become present to each other!

The presence in silence! That is a corridor to each other's inner world !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Shadow and shade !

The rose flower above looks elegant and fresh.

However as the flowers grow older the appearance of the flowers change with signs of withering and loosing the lustre as in the photographs below.

 

During the time the flowers are fresh and fragrant, they offer cheerful sights. 

The flowers bring their charm and cheer during that season and then fade away.

 I have pondered on this during the week. 

Each of us carries a light within us and it can be a path finder for ourselves and for others. 

In the last photo, a spider is resting underneath the rose flower, while it shows early sign of withering! 

The flower became the spider's shadow and shelter!

The shadow is a symbol of protection and shelter is a symbol of safety!

To so live that we can offer ourselves to be a shadow and shelter to others!

The affirming reality is that 'it is in God we live, move and have our being' !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Our strength is a gift !

This money plant survived several seasons in our garden and still grows covering the stem of the tree. We used its cuttings to spread the plant in different locations in our house and garden. Its resilience to grow fascinates me. There is something in it which overcomes difficult weather conditions. 

I have had a respiratory infection during this week after a long break, probably the first after the COVID season. It is during such time one becomes aware of limitations an illness can cause and interrupt the routines of the day.

An illness is a usual experience for every person. What engaged me this time is how an illness brings ripples of anxiety! When will I be better! Do I need more medical attention!

The sustaining strength of the money plant comes from its rootedness in the soil.  

It was when I noticed this Juvenile Magpie Robin making short flights between flight stations I saw another aspect of resilience. It exercises its ability and waits for its adult life when it can fly, sing and feed like an adult bird.

To be fully present and function even in the midst of limitations is a human attitude!

There are times when we ought to embrace our helplessness and still be trustful of opportunities hidden in every situation!

The Sunbird found its nectar in the garden! The provisions for our wellness shall not get exhausted! 

The greatest strength most of us finds is in our spouse in situations of need, which is what I found during this week! Anna was thoughtful and available to facilitate recovery!

Our difficult times are occasions to learn more about the support we receive from others around us. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Parenting influence !

 

The three flowers in our garden are different in size, colour, arrangements of petals and their appearance. Each flower carries its lineage of features. The environmental factors might marginally affect their features. 

The epigenetic factors  that influence early childhood development are multiple, seminal and defining.  

A senior Paediatrician mentioned to me his observation. He noticed that some children who are restless, hyperkinetic or fidgety or disruptive did have adverse home environment. His observation was that children who watch programmes in the TV or mobile phone for hours from infancy or toddler stage seem to be at a loss, when denied of the visual screen. Was their restless behaviour a withdrawal symptom from the screen? I found that conversation interesting and engaging. 

The epigenetic factors influence early childhood in multiple ways. 

The comment of this paediatrician stays with me. If a child grows up wanted and valued, he or she is likely to be behaviourally predictable. He recalled his childhood, when his parents engaged him and his sister   in activities of interest and value. He remembers the conversation times and play time that even as a teenager he looked forward to it. 

The primary epigenetic factor for healthy child development in early childhood is intimate times with parents. 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

The evening years!

The Four'o clock plant (Mirabilis Jalapa) or the Marvel of Peru is a self propagating flowering plant. The seed in the third photo drops to the ground and sprouts after a gestational time. It was probably the bird dropping that brought this plant to our garden. It spreads by its seeds sporting to generate new plants. The flowers open later in the day, which is why it is called as the Four'o clock plant. The fragrant, trumpet-shaped flower stays open till the next morning!

What is special about this small plant is its resilience. Whether in summer, winter or heavy monsoon, this plant would have its blossoms. The plant has medicinal value and is used in home remedies by native population.  The plant can be toxic if consumed in large quantity. 

It is an ornamental plant and perpetuates itself!

What caught my attention is its rhythm. A flower that opens nearer the sunset and stays open through the night!

The 'evening years' of our lives are significant. The senior citizens sometimes downplay the significance and role they have for themselves and for others. 

Dr William Cutting, who published books on movements and exercises which are popular among senior citizens in the United Kingdom, wrote them when he was in his seventies. Although he and his wife had health constraints and needed medical attention, Dr cutting continued his mission to engage the senior citizens to encourage movements as a means of staying fit. In a conversation, I discovered that he valued the evening years of his life and wanted to share his thoughts and insights widely. The videos based on his model of body exercises are watched by many to practice movements in a self regulated manner. 

Each of us has something to offer to encourage others. When we grow older we become even more wise to propose to live wisely by following simple steps towards wellness!

The Cutting Movement Assessment Scale (CMAS) that he proposed, is used in sports medicine for injury prevention. His suggestions offered better care of the Anterior Cruciate ligament to protect the knees. 

I remember another significant contribution he made when he was younger in his profession as a Paediatrician. He advocated the use of Zinc to protect children form infection.  

A plant perpetuates itself in a garden. 

A wise senior citizen brought years of his experience to benefit younger people and senior citizens  !

I feel encouraged to turn each day to  live well remembering others! That is one way of making the evening years fruitful for others!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Life, Living and Learning- 20

The Micky mouse plant is now the attraction for birds in our garden as the berries are ripening. Some birds are fond of this berry. 

With new shoots, flowers and berries, the plant would be frequently visited by these birds in the coming days. 

This season of flowering and fruit bearing happens all through the year. The monsoon rains have made the plant vigorous in its growth. 

The plant receives and gives. 

The plant receives in order to give!

I have struggled with this thought. 

Is my giving proportionate to what I receive!

Often the giving is inhibited by the fear of loosing!

Do I loose anything by giving!

This plant in telling its story answers this dilemma. It is pruned twice a year and what follows is a renewed growth. The pruning looses branches and foliage, but the life within the plant grows again to give more. 

In the Ericsson's proposal of psycho-social behaviour an adult becomes an elder in his or her seventies. An elder is a giving person, living open for others to draw from the elder what he or she is searching for!

Am I only a senior citizen or becoming an elder in this giving orientation!

Giving is becoming what the other person needs to offer encouragement and support !

I ponder on this because living is fully human only when life is lived giving, because we received freely and are called to give freely, in the words of Jesus of Nazareth. 

The Mick Mouse plant flourishes even more while living freely!

The birds are nourished by the tree!

The tree announces its call to live by giving!

M.C.Mathew ( text and photo)

Friendly presence !

I watched this pair of Bulbuls in our garden during their short presence during the flight movements in the morning. They were in two flight stations during this time. 

The first two photographs while perched in the loop of a cable gave me two different moods in their behaviour. The first photo when both looked alert and vigilant wile exploring visually the environment. I wondered if they were hyper-vigilant, which is how the birds are while planning to choose the flight path. 

The second photo is one of a restful orientation, both looking in two different directions. There is a composure in their body language.

The third photos is when they both flew to be perched in a tree, next to each other in a comfortable orientation !

Most of the birds pre-view their environment and move after planning! 

The red-vented and red-whiskered Bulbuls are known to have about 30 different vocalisations with syllables combined in different ways to communicate with each other and other birds. They associate information which they receive visually and auditory and process them, which is one source of their ability to find food and safe places to perch. The Bulbuls adapt and live around human dwellings for the  sake of finding food and shelter !

One aspect of red-vented Bulbuls Anna and I noticed is their desire to move around our cottage, come to the dining table searching for food if the food table outside is without food. I tried to hand feed them but they are yet to respond. They however come close to the place where we sit, and make some pleasant sounding bird calls and move away. They look at the camera and pause for photographs. 

The Bulbuls are the first birds to visit us in the garden in the morning. Their bird calls while perched in the feeding table remind us to fill the feeding bowls. They vocalise during the day and make their presence known. 

The Bulbuls although have a rhythm of their own, one of which is what the photos above show- the alert presence in the garden!

To be present alertly springs from an inner attitude! 

A crowded mind and restless feeling would diminish the sense of alertness and presence to the situation! It is when we are alert we hear what others speak and sense their thought sequences. We become present to others visually when we receive them through our engaging and consoling look! Our tone of voice and modulation of the speaking style convey the nearness we feel towards them! 

The Bulbul's behaviour of nearness to each other, alertness and communicative intent tell us that they live relationally!

That is what we need! That is the setting for social wellness !

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

The silent stressors !

The above photos are of the birds in our garden, conveying  different body languages.

When I reviewed all the photos of each of them, I did notice changes in their body language! 

The Sunbird in the last photo and the Magpie Robin in the second photo showed two different moods in their behaviour. The Sunbird was looking up elegantly and expectantly. The Magpie Robin looked 'frozen' and 'downcast'! 

This made me think about mood changes I too encounter depending on how I perceive an event, situation or something that remains to be done. 

The Sunbird was in its territory of flowers from which it would find its feed! The Barbet was perched on the feeding bowl with food, but looked ordinarily poised!

The Sunbird behaved differently! In fact that is how they are usually! They are fast movers and high fliers, least vulnerable to predator attacks!

A Sunbird knows about itself and behaves correspondingly! 

Its body language and composure indicated its readiness for the day!

I carried a sense of anxiety while waiting for clearance to pay the property taxes, which was pending for a while, due to some procedural clarification. The officer handling the matter settled the matter clearing for us to pay the taxes. When I received the message yesterday afternoon, I felt relieved and realised how without being fully conscious I was under a spell of anxiety! 

The 'silent stressors' stay within us and escape being identified! The decline in our wellness is insidious and may escape our attention! 

To begin each day from our comfort zone is possible if a daily audit of our inner wellness is processed as a personal de-briefing exercise! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

The way we are !

 

A squirrel arrived at the feeding table in our garden when birds had finished their meal and flown away!

The serial photographs of its feeding method was certainly different from that of the birds.  

After being in the feeding bowl for a short time, it moved away and climbed to the adjacent tree with the remaining banana in its mouth! 

The Barbets also carry portions of banana to feed privately! 

The other birds feed from the bowl and fly away leaving the rest for the other birds!

This reminded me of human behaviour!

Many live mindfully of others and some others live thinking of themselves alone!

A strange sight that awakened me to ponder on  human behaviour!

Archbishop Desmond Tutu was in the habit of saying, 'God loves your neighbours and enemies' ! That revises perspectives and attitudes!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)