The fullness in the weak!

The Pink Powder Puff flowers above on the hedge of a garden caught my attention yesterday because they looked radiant in the morning sun. 

They have a short life and have a colourful presence. Its vibrant presence is its message!

The slender filamentous petals look vulnerable and fragile! But I noticed them just sway in the wind and did not get blown away. It defies heat, humidity, wind and rain! Its strength is a mystery!

Anna and I happened to listen to the biography of person, who left his home to a far away place to get a job to earn enough to continue his study. He moved on to complete his post graduate studies and qualified to  be well employed now. He did not get dragged or subdued by his circumstances. He became an overcomer because he had a vision of being valuable being !

While listening to a family of two doctors, who attend to their son with multiple developmental needs, I noticed a radiance in their disposition and grace in the conversation, while sharing the daily rhythm of experiences. They now have a programme to attend to the needs of a few developmentally challenged children, organised at their home! They moved beyond their constraining circumstances to be resourceful and upbuilding in their mission!

The 'weakness' of  the flower above or the straining circumstances of  are not the picture one gathers as we draw near to the realities they represent. 

The 'weak' among us might have a resilience within them that can transcend to touch other lives to enliven them. 

That is how I felt at the end of the day, while recalling the sight of the flower and conversation with three people. 

The message of those whom we consider as weak, becomes one of inspiration as we allow to revise our first impression!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Returning to inwardness !

One way of sensing the environment which some birds resort is to be perched at a height and get a glimpse of all that is around. I suppose the different body movements of this Barbets conveyed that habit. 

Our garden is usually visited by local birds who make the garden in their flight path on most days. 

However each day is different for them.

They are not followers of a routine.

The above Barbet is one among about five Barbets who visit the garden fairly regularly. These regular visitors claim a territorial right by coming to perch in the same site on most days. I notices on a few occasions a Myna leaving its perch when a Barbet flies in to perch. 

It is this behaviour that I view with considerable interest. 

The avian attitude of regardful behaviour ! This is one way of creating space for others. 

Anna and I happened to hear a nurse talk about her attempt to create space for a patient in psychosis. He comes in to the therapy room often agitated and reactively. When he is offered colouring materials he settles down to draw, colour and paint. While watching some of his creations,  I noticed one drawing of three pictures- one of a high tide in the sea, another of regular waves and another of a still water. That truly represented his inner ambience. This nurse was able to sense his mood swings and create space  to express the emotions candidly. Expressing his interior milieu is catharsis for that person. 

We need physical, social and emotional space. The Barbet bird above created that space for itself. 

I wonder whether that is common for many when they live occupied and pre-occupied. In a conversation I was asking a group if it was possible to create a three minute private space, five times in a day to return to ourselves to feel anchored in our inwardness!

If our inward space is a restful then that can overflow into our conscious being to stay with that interior milieu while doing the usual work. The inner ground of our being is the space where we can experience God's presence, where love, grace and hope abide. 

The prophet Isaiah made this clear in his message: 'In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength' (I saith 30:15).

Watching the Barbet perched in its still composure in an alert state offered me a call for reflective presence!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Small, beautiful and elegant !

I have remained in suspense for a long time, till a keen bird watcher told me recently that the Sun-bird was named by the natives in Asia because of its dazzling and iridescent feathers shining even more in sunlight! Their brilliant and shining plumage can appear like sun rays when the sunlight falls on its plumage. They have a hue of colours on the plumage specific to each species. 

They are also tuneful and melodious in their bird call. While the male birds are brightly coloured, the female birds are muted olive or yellow for camouflage. 

I have noticed during their visit to our garden that they feed on nectar from flowers which are bright and colourful. They are regular visitors when the sun has risen and just before sunset! It seems that their inner clock has synchronicity with sunlight !

What they do normally is to turn in the direction our cottage and offer us their tuneful birdcalls each day after feeding on the nectar!

A bird call to greet us in gratitude !

We have now a row of plants in our garden, which give colourful flowers rich in nectar!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

The morning walkers !

 

At dawn I noticed the above movements while I was on my walk! Each of them was on its walk to fetch feed for the day!

The nature around them is their bowl of food. They search and find. 

When we sit at the table for a meal, we receive what is on the table. We have a prepared table to go to at each meal time. 

That is not true of the animals above. 

It is not true of people in Gaza. They do not have a table to return to for each meal. 

This is a story of people scattered in different places, where the social and economic developments are yet to catch up with them to have their basic needs met!

We live in an unequal world, where opportunities favour some and others are left to fend for themselves. 

This question of how I am to  be mindful,  in my little way, of people who are weary of striving and yet not finding, came upon me as I returned from the walk! 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Hope that keeps us peaceful!

The flowers blooming in spite of incessant rain of the last three days bring a message of hope!

The regions of Gaza and West Bank are again in conflict with human losses !Peace process is stalled!

It is rain here and it is war in Gaza. 

I hope the buds ready to open creates within us hope that shall hold our inner peace when the storms of life are raging! 

M.C.Mathew( photo and text) 

Fear proneness !

The behaviour of the squirrel at the feeding station appeared to be fretful. The presence of the Myna in the bush next to the feeding table might have been one factor. 

The squirrels are used to feeding alone in the feeding table. 

A few days ago, I found two squirrels and a Jungle Babbler sharing their meal at the feeding table. 

Did the squirrels feel comfortable because they were together with each other or were they able to overcome fear of birds!

Fear is an emotion. Familiarity brings the level of anxiety or stress to a low level! Knowing and becoming familiar is one way we help children to escape from the trap of fear!

A two year old child with his parents used to visit us. We had to restrain Dulcie, our dog, during the visits. Following a few visits, the child was ready to go near the dog and stroke her. Knowing and feeling comfortable eased the anxiety of the cild. The message that a dog barks and bites is lot more spoken to them rather than the message that a dog is a pet and friendly animal. This one sided information creates fear of the dogs in the minds of toddlers. 

I do not know whether fear can be fully overcome! It may not be necessary to be fear free as fear too has its positive messages to us. While visiting a mountain cliff, I noticed how the area was barricaded to prevent accidents and yet allowing the full view of the panaroma of the valley! Fear in that sense generates a protective action from danger.

The inhibitory effects of fear are too many that some people feel constrained in life in taking healthy risks and moving on to attempt to subdue fear. 

Darkness makes some pre-school children fearful. When a light is provided to lit the environment, the level of fear drops. We feel less fearful when we can see, hear, feel and know. It is when we know that there is no harm in sight, we feel safe and fear gets subsumed!

For senior citizens,  the fear of illness leading to sickness is a real cause of concern. That can generate fear.  But doing all that is good to remain healthy reduces the risk and can ally fear! Fear makes us weak psychologically, behaviourally and socially. 

One way to stay enlightened within is live contently and restfully knowing that, 'it is in God we live, move and have our being' !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Shared living!

 

When I watch different birds at the feeding table feed from the same feeding bowl and often partake of the same fruit, I get a sense of the comfort with which they relate to each other. Each bird receives its portion of feed from the same fruit. 

It is from the resources of the earth all humans receive to live on!

And yet humans pursue wealth creation for private benefit. 

The pursuit of well being of all, although was the intention of political governance in democratic countries, we find a partisan politics for narrow considerations. 

I live in state, one of the smaller states in India, where political friendship between ruling and opposition parties was cordial and consultative! In the recent years that relationship collapsed with a dominant desire from both parties to govern the state for partisan benefits. 

All humans are alike in aspirations of well being. That can be real only when we live cordially and reciprocally. The intention of harming other nations with high tariffs for goods imported to the United States of America while America gains is a recent crisis due to disregardful orientation towards other nations. 

I feel good that, though the avian world  can be hostile to each other, what is common is fraternal existence and social acceptance !

The avian behaviour gives us a different orientation about each other!

About fifty nations seem to be participating to reach material aids to Gaza and West Bank, although Israel is showing of discomfort to allow the rebuilding activities !

The human brotherhood, I hope would prevail and correct the course of history in the present times!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Thriving or otherwise !

The flowers and buds above survive the heat and humidity of the day, the rain, or the dew of the night or the pests that feed on them! They are not just survivors but thrivers. 

I came a ross four words recently while reading about the life lived in stressful situations: strugglers, survivors, overcomes and thrivers .

The Strugglers are those who endure ordeals and strains and often get subdued by the stress upon them.

The Survivors are those who subsist amidst the adversities of life and yet feel oscillated by the circumstances .

The Overcomers are those who pursue a direction in life to live beyond all the challenges they face. 

The Thrivers are those who allow them to be stretched and live normally above the stressful experiences, turning them to be opportunities to grow in resilience and contentment. 

I felt that all these four experiences take place concurrently in our lives. Life offers us experiences of all these four situations to bring us to an optimum state of wellness, breathing in hope and breathing out fullness! 

I noticed yesterday that the co-traveller in a scooter did not wear a helmet while on the road ! He travelled unprotected. 

There are several safety steps one can take to live well in life!

A nutritious eating habit, regular body exercises and regulated regular sleeping hours,  practicing relaxation to find inner rest and aligning with God's purpose in lives are some essentials for living well or thriving!

And yet, many journey in life unprotected as they do not make the above practices as rituals. They enter into mid-life carrying the baggage of accumulated stress and its effects on the body and mid!

There is within us a longing to live soulfully, becoming ourselves and being pathfinders for others in troubled times!

The Lantana flowers have a short life. But during their life time, they   live colourfully. That is thriving!

I feel inspired and challenged to review the way I live each day!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Recollection , Reflection and Resonance !

The above letter written on 3.2.1971 to a friend was passed on to another person unknown to me at that time, for him to consider the matter raised in the letter. That person who was requested to reply to me, did so on  10.3.1971. That letter below was the beginning of a friendship  for several years till he was called home three years ago. 

                      

It was in 2019 that we met last. He had by then handed my letter above   to a common friend to hand it over to me. I referred to his reply to me and mentioned to him that I retained the letter he sent to me as a memoir !

The two letters above carry a history of 52 years, till this friend moved on, after a life well lived in caring and serving others. 

There was an occasion for recollection of the story of this friendship two days ago and relive some of our shared experiences as we have had regular contacts with each other during those years with frequent contacts until he went to live overseas in 1977. 

A reflection of this long years of friendship reminded me of the way it evolved into a fellowship of communication at the heart level. The gracious listening and thoughtful responses he practiced touched my life ever since the first time I met him. 

A resonance of this memory is the 'call' of life he passed on to me. His call to me was 'to be a pilgrim' while being in the journey of life! Recently when a Magpie Robin gave its bird calls from the garden in front of our cottage,  looking in the direction where I was seated, I felt reminded of the call of this friend, 'to be pilgrim' !  

What a joy it is to have had a friend who showed the way to live the earthly journey! That call is still a desire! Although it is yet to be an authentic interior reality, I feel grateful for him to have pointed and initiated Anna and me in this way of living!

There are times in life, when one feels the resonances of the past of friends and friendships!

This season is one such occasion to remember this friend and his investment in our lives!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

When it rains...!

 

The visiting birds come to our garden to feed from the feeding table normally!

It was raining at day break today! 

Two Bulbuls one after the other visited the bird feeder to feed! Although we place feed in the bird feeder we clear the feed in the evening as birds would not have not needed it as the feeding table was a better palace to come to socialise with other birds. 

Our habits emerge  out of our situations and needs. 

I struggle with this experience. My expectations and what I receive when do not match, I am drawn to the valley of disappointment. I pondered over it recently. 

The Bulbuls changed their behaviour to feed from the bird feeder and accept it as normal for the day. 

I feel challenged by this message! What is offered or given is good enough and receive it cheerfully, rather than downsize the goodwill as it did not match my expectations!

I view this as a caution in all forms of engagements! To free others from a load of expectations and stay content with what is offered or  not offered! 

Life is a journey of living well from within, in an ambience of receiving others just as they are !

Our expectations are projections to make others feel burdened! It vitiate relationships !

One needs inner freedom and generosity to be people friendly out of on'es own good will and not restrained by what is given or not given!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Going beyond the first impression!

I watched a a look of suspicion in the posture of a Barbet, when seeing a jungle Babbler at the feeding bowl. Soon that inhibition or anxiety was overcome and both birds were feeding together from the bowl. 

I felt fascinated by the friendly posture of the Barbet after the initial look of anxiety!

The Barbet travelled beyond the first impression to restore a friendly orientation. 

I suspect that when first impressions when not revised the relationships cannot develop to be reciprocal.

I remember instances when I took time to go beyond the first impressions because of which the relationship dragged on without trustful communicative atmosphere. 

We form impressions in our mind based on our rational thinking. To be able to move into the plane of loving or caring is beyond rationality. Loving is giving and forgiving. It goes well beyond the thoughts of our mind which functions at the level of logic and reason. 

The heart level impressions reflect loving gestures and responses. The Truth and Reconciliation commission which Archbishop Desmond Tutu chaired in South Africa in the nineteen eighties is a good demonstration of how the Afrikaans and the white community overcame age old intolerance and racial prejudice and became reconciled to live and work together ! They took years to overcome the first impression of each other and move to a heart level response of acceptance of each other. 

As I listen to stories of disputes and conflicts I realise how quickly people resolve them, when they are ready to move beyond the first impressions and feel for each other!

Even after peace treaty in Gaza the killing continues. The language of intolerance is yet to be overcome with a desire for coherence and peace. 

What a delight it was to watch a Barbet revising its initial fear or anxiety and moving towards having a shared meal at the feeding table! 

I wish a heart level move towards each other takes place, in families, work places and society! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Towards Wellbeing !

The water bath in the garden in front of our cottage was not a favourite pale for birds for some unknown reason. Yesterday, I watched a Myna frolicking in water in the water bath. 

It waited for a while perched in the water bath before it began its rituals. There were other birds in the feeding table. The Myna waited till other birds flew away to make the bathing private. It flew away beyond my sight to dry itself. The way it used its wings to splash water all over the body was a sight to watch! 

Among the birds visiting us the Sunbird and Myna have an immaculately groomed body all the time. The sunbirds fly fast and Myna fly high to perch at the tall trees. The Myna bird has a bulkier body. The birds therefore behave conditioned by their needs. They are aware of the needs. 

The attention birds give to their physical wellness is worth watching and emulating. 

In the book, Wellbeing-five essential elements by Tom Rath and Jim Harter, the authors explore the themes of Career wellbeing, Social wellbeing, Financial wellbeing, Physical wellbeing and Community wellbeing. The book is a resource of practical wisdom. The strong suggestion in the pages of the book is for humans to be aware of their needs, towards experiencing wellbeing. 

The suggestion that about thirty percent in some societies can be obese as against four percent in some other societies substantiate their argument that wellbeing is a vocation many overlook while some  pursue it religiously.  

The focus on mindful living not just for longevity in life but for quality of life, is well presented in their arguments. About sixty four percent of those who go bankrupt in the USA is due to health care expenditure. 

The wellbeing is therefore is not an option but is the call of life and living according to the authors. The indulgent eating and indifference to movements and exercise seem to be a major factor which compromise  wellbeing. 

The birds move and fly and stay healthy. They eat to live well. 

Let me quote from page 4 of the book: 'Wellbeing is about combination of our love for what we do each day, the quality of retionshiops, the security of our finance, the vibrancy of our physical  health, and the pride we take in what we have contributed to our communities. Most importantly, it's about how these five elements interact'.

 

It is now thirteen years since Anna and I have had an opportunity to have visiting birds in our garden ! They bring messages for us to ponder upon!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)