15 December, 2025

The rhythm and ritual in a garden.




The buds, flowers and bird movements are the norms in a garden. It happens each day in all seasons of the year. 

It occurred to me yesterday, how much I am present to others in the orbit of my contacts.

It was while listening to the ups and downs of a family who have health related challenges and job related stress, I had a closer view of the disturbed rhythm in that life family. It was an occasion to feel sensitised about the rhythm we are called to live-mindfully of others. 

The buds, flowers and birds make a garden a place of hospitality! It is when we create space and attention for others, we become neighbours to others. 

The news of a family who lost their adult son in an accident at sea and a senior friend who is now in residential care after a stroke, disturbed Anna and me this week, as we have had regular contacts with these two families for several years. 

Anna's school friend who visited us from the United States of America, during this week brought news of people feeling displaced from their comfort level by the short sighted and partisan views of the current president of the USA towards the immigrants resident in the USA for years! 

I heard the member of parliament from Manipur speaking sorrowfully in the Parliament, about how the ethnic violence in that state left hundreds homeless and children having had to discontinue schooling. He was helplessly calling the attention of the central government to intervene.

The rhythm and ritual of life was to live neighbour friendly! But I wonder if leaderships of some nations are carried away by their own prospects and prosperity! I feel that parents too get preoccupied by their own pursuit and prospects that children get displaced from their orbit of attention!

The nature still follows its rhythm and rituals of being present to bring their gifts for us. I suspect that humans seek more for themselves and less and less for the welfare of their neighbours!

The Christmas is a season of giving and remembering others!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)


14 December, 2025

Birds, Spider and Flowers










 

The garden around our cottage is in its scenic confluence at this time of the year. The weather too is favourable for plant life. The gathering of birds in the feeding station adds to the variety in the garden!

The serene silence of the garden and the reciprocal bird calls provide a good contrasting experience. 

The silence and the refreshing interruption !

It is when one can be silent inwardly, the sounds can reach us fully in their myriads of meaning. 

The silence prepares the soul to receive the sounds and calls of birds to receive an awakening message. 

The feeding station is becoming a place of comfort for birds. The birds do  not chase away new visitors. There is a communal harmony. 

The political world is in turmoil globally. The human language used by the political leadership is of suspicion and division. The language of nature is wellness, fullness and cohesion. 

The news in the media is one of many disappointments; but the garden is a reminder of new life, growth, giving, caring and flourishing! 

The garden is announcing the message of Christmas season- a Giving God became present in human form at Bethlehem ! 


M.C.Mathew(text and photo)







12 December, 2025

A song in the air!




It was the song call of a Magpie Robin that turned my attention to the gate of our cottage, where Daphne was seen looking upward. Seeing Daphne still and looking up, I could spot the Magpie robin perched on a tall coconut palm, singing its carol! Its calls were long and tuneful with short pauses in between.  The tuneful singing continued for twenty minutes, till it flew away to a distance beyond my vision. 

Tuneful bird calls are the habit of male Magpie robins. Its calls are for other birds, perhaps seeking for pairing! 

What intrigued me is the uninterrupted singing!

Its habit of singing is part of its morning rhythm!

Doing good can be a rhythm, worth pursuing! That was the message that resonated within me!


M.C.Mathew(text and photo)



The effect of climate change!






The cashew fruits normally appear by March-April, but it seems early this year. 

A clear indication of weather changes affecting the rhythm of the plant life! 

The nutmeg trees are bare without fruits, which is unlike the usual pattern!

Our attention to the care of the environment needs more sensitive responses! 

Is it not strange to hear the president of the United States asking people to return to fossil fuel as the source of energy when people were turning to electricity powered automobiles! The president's language is not of a statesman committed to the health of people and environment !

Its looks like we have short sight for an immediate personal gain!


M.C.Mathew(text and photo )



Endearing meal time !







 

It is not common to notice Barbets feeding together and engage in communication! They feed privately and are less communicative. But here he last five photographs show a language of togetherness and engagement. 

The meal times are such occasions to stay in touch with each other. Giving attention to listen and interact would make meal times refreshing. 

I recall how in a family table in a home,  at supper,  each person takes turn to tell an experience or an event or a story ! Listening to the narratives I felt included in the family ambience.  

I recall the yeas of a similar practice at supper time when our children were younger, when they had lot to say about school experiences. It was also practice to read a story that children would benefit form, while we were still at the table after finishing the meal. Often that led to the family prayer time!

A meal time is an occasion to feel near to each other and have endearing conversations. 


M.C.Mathew(text and photo)




11 December, 2025

Small but special !

 


The Rose aphids, a variety of ants which feed on coloured sweet petals are in our garden. They suck the asap and deplete the buds of their capacity to blossom! They infest the bud when the calyx is about to give way to the opening flower. 

I read a description about rose aphids being most opportunistic. They have good sense of odour and identify some special flowers which have sweet sap. 

There is a wide variety of these ants who find other flowers before they are open. 


I noticed a Handmaiden moth on the leaf of a rose bush. I find these sights interesting as the garden becomes a place of discoveries and new experiences. This moth is seen in some parts of Tamil Nadu and Kerala and Sikkim according to Wikipedia. 

I remember a senior friend telling me when I was beginning to take photos of flowers about thirty years ago,  that, 'It is not enough to see the flower, but allow the flower to see you' ! 

That comment was  about looking at a flower to feel surprised, because there is something more than what catches the eye as the first impression. 

Looking to see beyond the obvious !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)


Movement readiness !








The Barbet above was perched in a guava tree in our front garden overlooking the feeding station. It moved 360 degrees in its perch during a brief halt at this flight station. 

What was captivating was its look, body posture and varying alertness or attentiveness to what it saw or heard in the environment. Its processing of the environment was intense and sharp. Barbets by species carry a timid disposition. They have well developed self defending skills. They are brisk to respond with quick flight responses. They hide in the foliage and remain well camouflaged when feeling threatened. 

The above photos give a narration of the personal habit of a Barbet in planning its strategy. 

What interests me about bird behaviour is the response they communicate in their body posture to every form of environmental event. It is what they process with their eyes and ears, which they externalise in the body language. The body language is about readiness to act. 

They are always movement ready!

I checked on my movements for a week to keep a track of my activity rhythm during about 16 hours of the day. The steps taken according to the health data from the phone was in the range of 3000 to 6000 steps with an average distance walked in a a day during a week being 2.6 kilometres. The week before that was only an average of 2 kilometres. It was during that week, I noticed blood sugar level variations which brought some concern. Since there were more movements, the blood sugar level got stabilised in the subsequent week. 

It was during this encounter with my own movement pattern, I got to think more about the larger dimension of movement. All movements are transitions. From sitting at the desk when I move out of the room, what I encounter is the lawn, garden, plants, flowers and bird movements in the garden. There is another orientation which brings change in visual and auditory stimuli. There is a transition from intensity of attention to a dispersal of attention to bring the mind to a different level of engagement. The physiological changes in the body through movement and change of activity bring a good interlude to the routine of the day. It helped me to realise that movements in between are necessary to undo the prolonged sitting habit. Walking while at work between places is different from a leisurely walk with no task before.  A short walk of five minutes every two to three hours is a healthy practice to bring a different rhythm to the body and mind. 

The movements of a Barbet and its body language alerted me about how it moved volitionally. The agility of its body is on account of movements. 

Having in between times for movements is a healthy practice to remain alert and to overcome the monotony and stress of sameness !



M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

10 December, 2025

On Being, Becoming and Doing !






The above four texts were quotations, Anna and I found when we were getting ready for starting the ASHIRVAD Child Development Centre at Chennai in 1983. We were searching for an ethos for our life and work. 

These four quotations remained in the Bulletin board opposite to my desk in all the rooms I occupied while working at Chennai, Vellore, Pondichery and Kolanchery and now since 2012 in the garage from where I work currently. 

Anna was thoughtful to update the texts from a handwritten text to a computer black and white print out when we were given the first computer in 1987. Since we had the colour printer in 1997, Anna took  print outs periodically to have them replaced with new designs. The current print out on the bulletin board were taken in 2012. They look fresh as they are laminated. 

Let me say something about the heart language we received from these quotations. 

1. The text on Attitude touched us because it brought an awakening within us the way we were to welcome Neuro-developmentally challenged children and their family. We felt drawn by the call of this message, as it was a value statement about the way we are to relate to others.

2.The second text on Giving became a calling to pursue, while we were engaged with people in all spheres of our involvement. It brought into our lives an awareness about how much we were given and are being given! It had a resonating message to the way we are to view our lives relationally. 

3. The third text on Parenting made us aware of the pressures on parents in becoming present to their children because of which their presence got substituted by material gifts to children. This message formed our thought processes in parenting of our own children. The desire to support other parents to choose this path grew from this. 

4. The fourth text on Mistake had a profound influence during the last forty two years in our lives. We gradually experienced that mistakes are formative experiences that would upbuild us. The vulnerability to make mistakes is so real that apologising, pardoning and forgiving became a pathway to follow.

After forty two years, when I look back, I realise that these pointers to the way of being, becoming and doing were a light in our lives. 

Even now Anna and I feel like being only at the threshold of a long journey ahead in living these truths in our daily living!

We rejoice in the joy of these truths that gave a road map for our journey thus far. 

The ethos of living is a personal value with dimension of an in-look and out-look. We allow ourselves to formed into what we choose for ourselves and become a means of encouragement and support to others guided by the inward light. 

The above texts continue to form our ethos in our lives. Anna and I feel grateful for what we receive from others as guideposts!

The photo above of a Barbet looking ahead at day break, before starting its flight pathways for the day is a symbol. The bird chooses its pathway by discretion. 

Each of us can choose the ethos of our being, becoming and doing!


M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Social media and children !


A good news I read two days ago was the response of the Australian government to regulate the social media for children under 16 years of age. 

The picture of the flower in the centre in the photo above from our garden, looking withered in the heat of the day made a metaphorical representation of a reality : the children globally have been adversely affected by the social media, internet gaming, and addictive influence of mobile use. The life of children look scarred morally, socially and behaviourally under the influence of these influences. The exposure to addictive drugs seems to begin in early childhood according to a report I read today in the newspaper. 

The flower in the centre suffered so much that, its normal life has been marred and impaired! This metaphor disturbed me! Are we about to watch a scene where our children grow up marred by the adverse events of social media and mobile phone dependence ?

Forty percent of the population of India might be under thirty years of age. Fifty percent of that would be children. 

I wonder what parents do proactively to help children from slipping into mobile dependence!

I like a family ritual that I notice in some families. The parents are co-watchers with children when they engage in mobile phone or while watching the TV. Both the phones and the TV have child lock that the access is regulated.

What I heard from the family fascinated me. Their two children ten and thirteen years, a boy and girl, have regulated time for TV viewing. Both of them do not own a phone as yet. They have access to their parent's phone, which they use by consent. What surprised me was that both children still do not ask for a private phone. 

The parents have planned engagements with children during the week ends and daily family times when they play indoor games, have conversations and engage in the domestic chores together. The culture in the family is communication and togetherness. 

This narration spoke to me the way the family life can be made colourful, relational and interactive. It is the absence of this which makes children want to drift into their private world of social media.  

When parenting becomes a distant experience emotionally, children fill the void with social media!

The picture of the rose flower looking withered is not a pleasant sight. However the buds on both sides give me an indication of hope that sustains us. 

The Australian government is asking some  fundamental questions about children's use of mobile phone and unregulated access to social media!

That is hope generating!


M.C.Mathew (text and photo)






Seeing beyond the thorn !


The rose bush bears new leaves and the dew of the night looking colourful and radiant in the morning sun. The tiny bud just visible nw, would soon blossom into a flower !

There is also a thorn on the stem, which is how it is in every roe plant. 

To be able to see the bud, foliage and thorn together is helpful, instead of seeing them in a fragments way. 

Our experiences in life and the orientation they bring to our optic decides what and how we see!

In a conversation with a domestic helper I realised how the difficulties crowd his mind that he views the difficulties as burdensome. I tried to bring a few promising possibilities ahead of him, which did not capture his imagination. 

The thorn when viewed alone in the rose bush reduces the wholeness of the sight and what the rose bush offers through its bud now and the flower it would offer later !

I recall instances when I got hurt by the thorns while gathering the rose flowers for our table vase. That does not stop me from gathering the flowers for the vase. 

It is likely that we get hurt when we relate to others and engage in our work place. But the good experiences often subsume them and our memories remain as grateful recollections. 

What remains as the ambience within is what is decisive to influence our optic. If we are grateful with affirming memories, we reflect them in our conversations and relationships. How much I can see the other person through the ambience he carries within himself is a helpful step in all engagements. When a labourer wanted payment more than what I expected yesterday, I initially felt disturbed.  Later I realised that a 'labourer is worthy of his reward'. It took a while for me to feel reconciled. It occurred to me that what the labourer did was a job that was pending for a while because it was a difficult task. What he did was difficult, for which he needs to be compensated well. 

This reflection started by referring to the thorn in the rose bush. There are hurting or demanding situations in our daily life. What brings comfort and concordance within is being able to see the whole picture, which can bring uplifting memories !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)















09 December, 2025

Hope that keeps us going !


I find this cluster of rose buds in our garden a delight to watch each morning! They spring  hope within me at the beginning of each day!

The experiences each of us goes through in our life every day, bring mixed mood of cheer and concern.That is why I like the stage of a bud when the sepals in the calyx are giving way for the flower to emerge. That is the critical stage in the blossoming of a flower. 

The readiness of the bud to bloom and the opening of the sepals need synchronisation ! 

Such a convergence of critical factors happens automatically in nature effortlessly.

It is this consciousness that brings renewal of hope about the fullness of life that each of us can hope for!

However adverse the situation that each of us might be in, there are certainties which would take place that would envelope us to live in hope!

For that reason, hope is an anchor that steadies us in the journey of life each day. 

In the photo above, there are tender leaves in a branch which soon will produce one or more buds!

We live enveloped and immersed in hope!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

08 December, 2025

First Experiences 1980 !


Anna and I joined on line yesterday for the evening chapel service at the Christian Medical College Vellore, which was a Valedictory service of the celebrations of 125 the anniversary of the college. 

Tomorrow the  9th December will be remembered as the founder's day to recall the history of CMCV from the time of Dr Ida Sophia Scudder.

It was while attending the service my thoughts flashed back to my first experience at CMCV as a member of the faculty in Child Health department in 1980. 

Anna is alumnus of 1968 batch of CMCV. 

Although I have had contacts with faculty and students of CMCV and Anna and I had some common friends, the two years we spent from 1980 initiated me into a new consciousness about health care and healing. 

On the occasion of the 125th Founder's day, let me recollect few experiences of those two years. 

1. First day in Child Health department. Professor Malathi Jadhav, whose Child Health Unit I joined ,greeted me warmly and introduced me to the different aspects of life and work in the department. Shortly after that Dr Malathi took me to the hospital chapel, where we spent about ten minutes in silent preyer. Her remark that 'Prayer is the source of our strength at CMCV' touched me. Following this, she took me to meet Dr Jacob Abraham, the Medical Superintendent and Dr L.B.M Joseph the director of CMCV. Although they were short meetings, what stays with me even now is the culture of cordiality and acceptance I felt from Dr Malathi, Dr Jacob and Dr LBM. I felt that I was in a place where people mattered and not just work alone. The way Dr Malathi introduced me to the Medical Superintendent and the director, as the husband of Anna John made me feel, how each student is remembered by the faculty. 

2. First clinical round in the children's ward. Dr Malthi was used to getting a pone call every morning at 6 am from the resident on duty, which briefed her about the different clinical events since she took the evening round at 4 pm on the previous day. On arrival for round she would turn to each resident to enquire if they had their breakfast. In case there was someone who missed it due to an emergency in the casualty service, she would request the resident to join the round  after   the breakfast. Next she would turn to the nurses whom she would address by their name and enquire about them, and their family. She remembered even their children's name. Then she would enquire about each domestic staff. She would then turn to the parent of the child and have a conversation. The presentation of the clinical details of the child by the resident would follow after this routine. It was a new experience of watching a health care practice, where the team work was exercised meaningfully. 

3. First contact with medical students. Three or four days after I joined the department a few medical students arrived to greet me. They had heard about a new lecturer in the department and wanted to make contacts. They invited me to visit the men's hostel, which I did a week later. Meeting with about fifteen of them from different batches gave me another taste of the cordial retionshiops that exist between students and  faculty.  That initiated me to get to know some students well and their visits to our home and my visit to the hostel became a regular feature.  

4. First college Chapel service. I was invited by Dr Benjamin Pulimood, the professor of Medicine to join for a prayer time before the evening chapel service on Sunday at the Dr Scuddar room in the auditorium. During that meeting I met senior professors who welcomed me to the faculty. What followed was a time of sharing by each professor and a time of prayer remembering the faculty, students, patients in the hospital and the chapel service. Rev A.C.Oommen, the head of chaplaincy who steered this meeting made the atmosphere prayerful and devotional by his introduction and interludes. That gave me a flavour of the prayerful ambience that leads the institution.  All of us together walked into the sunken garden on time to begin the chapel service where students and faculty worshipped week after week. 

5. First class prayer. It was a custom for students of each batch to meet for fellowship and prayer once every week in the evening. Sometimes they would invite a faculty to join the group to share some thoughts from the Scripture. Meeting more than half of the class at the prayer meeting, gave me an introduction to the life style students chose to live by in the hostel and college. They were meeting together to feel guided  about their future and live by the motto of the institution, 'not to be ministered unto but to mister'. 

6 First Clinical meeting. The weekly clinical meeting which was held on Friday at 4 pm by the department of medicine was the academic highlight of the week. The residents and faculty actively participated in discussing difficult clinical scenario.  I found an exploratory attitude when matters needed resolution on difficult clinical situations. It was a pleasure and informative to hear senior consultants discuss factually and laterally, opening up new horizons in thinking. It was a forum which brought the clinicians together for interaction and camaraderie. 

7. First Medical Board meeting. All the faculty used to be invited for the meeting during which time,  the medical superintendent usually shared the important events in the life of the institution since the previous meeting. It was a forum for the faculty to express their concerns and opinions. The way conversations took place in the forum gave me an introduction to the participatory process that was inherent in the culture of the decision making process in the institution. There was openness and dialogue with an attitude of finding a middle path when opinions differed. 

Let me conclude this recollection. 

I confess that I took a while to get familiar with the ethos of cordiality that was inherent at work place and on social occasions. The weekly radiology meetings, pathology meetings, and the audit meetings in the unit gave the clinicians an opportunity to discuss and learn from the specialists in different specialities. I did feel out of place sometimes as traditions and rituals of CMC life were new to me. Being a residential campus, and  a close knit community, life was a continuum from work place to home. The long hours of work was a new experience. What lifted me up and carried me forward was the pursuit of excellence in clinical decision making and care of children that was the attitude in the unit and in the hospital. There was utmost commitment to ethical practice of medicine in a holistic way. It was a good start for me in my professional journey to have been in such an environment of academic setting, where evidence based practice of medicine was the standard of clinical practice! 

Anna and I felt through some special experiences, that we are to pursue ways of being involved with Neuro-developmentally challenged children. As there was only a limited opportunity at CMCV at that time, we relocated ourselves at Chennai to set up a Child Development Centre in 1983. Later in 1997, we were invited back to CMCV to start the clinical unit of Developmental Paediatrics. 

Anna and I look back to the time during our second spell at CMCV form 1997. It was a remarkably fulfilling period in our lives. Anna could return to do her post graduate training and become a faculty in Pharmacology, involve in Medical education,  lead the continuing medical education department and start publishing the journal, Current Medical Issues. I had opportunities to be involved with the middle level faculty and be part of the faculty retreat process. 

Our lives received an enlargement during our second season at CMCV.  We have had associations with CMCV even after our retirement. 

The photo of flower form our garden in this blog post, is a symbol to us about the future of CMCV. It is a place of history, excellence, and formation of professionals in health care. 

The buds in the photo represent the future, which is promising and envisioning!

What an opportunity in life for having had an experience to be associated with such an institution, where the rhythm of life is- 'in God we live, move and have our being'!

Anna and I wish the institution a fulfilling journey to be a leaven in health care in India, in the years to come!

May those who lead the affairs of the institution be blessed with wisdom, discernment and devotion!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)


The beginning, living and ending !




 

There is a description of life on earth, that these three photos communicate- birth, living and end. The continuum is well expressed in the last photo. 

The now of life, represents a history and future! 

Only as much as living is connected with the history and the journey ahead, the living gets esteemed to a level of consciousness of its preciousness and sacred mission. 

The living process witnesses to our history and  future !

Each of us is a witness to our ancestry, heritage and parentage. We live reflecting and radiating our formative pathway. The contentment, integrity and altruism that form the inner ambience of our lives currently point to the path we would pursue in our future. 

Living our life, remembering from where we have come and where we are going is a virtuous mission!

According to Erick Erickson's theory of psycho-social formation, each person is on a journey towards becoming an elder as he or she crosses the mid sixties. An elder is a giver, provider and pathfinder for others. 

We grow up therefore, learning gradually to bequeath what we have been given in life, to others after us. 

This is the spring time in one's life when life becomes a formative gift to others!

I feel urged to quote from the book, Falling upward by Richard Rohr frpm page 160: 

" No one can keep you from the second half of your own life except yourself. Nothing can inhibit your second journey except your own lack of courage, patience, and imagination. Your second journey is all yours to walk or to avoid. My conviction is that some falling apart of the first journey is necessary for this to happen, so do not waste a moment of time lamenting poor parenting, lost job, failed relationship, physical handicap, gender identity, economic poverty, or even tragedy of any kind of abuse. Pain is part of the deal. If you do not walk into the second half of your own life, it is you, who do not want it. God will always give you exactly what you truly want and desire. So make sure you desire, desire deeply, desire yourself, desire God and desire everything good, true, and beautiful. 

All emptying out is only for the sake of a great outpouring. God, like nature, abhors all vacuums and rushes to fill them".

Richard writes further: 

" Most of us tend to think of the second half of life as largely getting old, dealing with health issues, and letting go of our physical life, but the whole thesis of this book is exactly opposite. What looks like falling can largely be experienced as falling upward and onward, into broader and deeper world, where the soul has found its fullness, is finally connected to the whole and lives inside the Big Picture. It is not a loss but somehow a gain, not losing but actually winning. You probably have to have met at least one true elder to imagine that this  could be true" (p153).

What a profound and realistic view of making our journey to become  an elder in the second half of our ;life!


M.C.Mathew (text and photo)