A family is born!

Every time Anna and I attend a weeding service, we return with a feeling that it is the incarnation of the creation story-God created humans that man shall leave...and cling on to his wife.

In this journey of leaving and cleaving, there is a daily dynamic reality of seeking God in prayer. Whatever might be the form of prayer we practice in our relationship with our spouse, it is important to esteem that as a means of the 'two becoming one'.

What is so special about the need to become one after marriage!

When Anna returned after a few weeks of being away at Ludhiana, after having been together for 24 hours both of us spontaneously said to each other, 'how nice it is good to be together again'! 

Our instinct in marriage is for togetherness!

It grows to become a reality progressively when there are times of heart to heart communication! One  means to experience the drawing power in spousal relationship is through  corporate communion in prayer.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A fresh flower in the summer heat !

I was feeling horrible and profusely sweating in high humidity and temperature of 41degree celsius. On the way to the neighbour's house, I found this flower showing no sign of the brunt of the summer heat!

Its resilience is  its strength! That is why a fragile flower is also strong! The mystery of paradoxes in creation! What appears fragile can also be strong!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Materno-fetal medicine workshop at BCMCH

I am the oldest person attending the workshop the team from Mater hospital, Brisbane is conducting at the Believer's Church Medical College Hospital, Thiruvella for three days which was inaugurated today. I found the morning session interesting because the lecture focussed on  changes taking place in the approach to detection of foetal abnormalities in the first trimester of pregnancy.

The focus on optimising the wellness of the foetus  has taken a phenomenally new turn during the last three decades. Most of the original work took place in Britain, followed by Australia, European Union and the USA in the recent years. 

Yes, the confession of the Psalmist in psalm 139, 'I am fearfully and wonderfully made' is a profound reality and mystery which ought to make us most worshipful and grateful ! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

   

See the difference in the same bunch!

Recently there is a move in India to impose that all those who feel nationalistic ought to recite a particular slogan to reiterate their national loyalty.

However some proposed that we can express our national spirit in different ways and not by reciting a slogan imposed on us! To this there has been a strong resistance. One national political party is proposing that people's loyalty to the nation would be judged on whether one recites the slogan or not! Recently a member of the legislative assembly was suspended from the proceedings of the assembly because he refused to recite the slogan on account of personal reasons, but conveyed his loyalty through other slogans. This is was not acceptable to the majority. 

One needs to look at this bunch of grapes to know how each grape is different in its appearance and size and colour!

We are not created to conform to uniformity but to express our differences to make our society diverse and rich!

M.C.Mathew(text an photo)

Something different from the usual!

It is relatively uncommon to have the buds at the bottom open after the one on the top! But that is what I noticed in the plant!

I feel impressed to see something different from the usual!

One of the questions some parents ask me is, 'why is my elder son different from the younger one'? 

For me, it is that difference that makes the family special with a variety in perspectives and attitudes!

Being different is natural and tells us how uniquely each of us has been formed by the creator of all of us!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Memories of a visit!

Anna and I recollected today, the special time we had with Katherine and Peter in October, 2015, while staying with them.

One family we often remember in our conversations is them for their friendship and goodness. On this Easter Sunday we remember this occasion of meeting with Shioko and Robin and Ann, who were   hosted by Katherine and Peter to meet with us. Although all of them are growing older, we were amazed by their spirit of inner aliveness and joyfulness. 

It is one thing to grow older and it yet another thing to sty young at heart. We joked and laughed and talked serious matters. Such happy occasions are the memories we need to treasure!

One way to remember people is to go back to look at the photos we took on different occasions. People become nearer when we look at the photographs!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)   

Failed attempt!

Inspite of my best efforts to get the three buds hidden behind the jasmine flower, all that I could capture was only this much! From every angle the buds remained hidden and out of focus! I am now willing to wait till the buds are open by themselves!

Our interior life is hidden from others. It is through self disclosure, the mystery of our lives becomes known to others for them to participate in the journey of our life!

It is one way by which we become companions with one another in the journey!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Good wishes Friends!

Some of the final year batch at MOSC Medical College, ready to start their final MBBS examination in the first week of April, 201 with their victory sign! You have done well friends so far and something even better await you as you prepare to become interns!

M.C.Mathew (photo and text) 

Subtle signs

Drivenness, hurry, anxiety state, losing temper often, disinterest in the routine of life, preference to spend time alone, etc are some of the signs commonly listed to screen for 'burned out' experience. Just as the Mid-life transition is an inevitable reality at least in a mild form, burned out is also real in the lives of many professionals.

To go through a self audit at least four times in a year is one way of anticipating it to prevent it!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)   

Easter morning!

A tree of fruits!

This is the fourth generation of fruits in this wood apple tree since January this year. Yesterday I noticed another generation of fruits!

It gave me a new orientation to the mystery of Easter!

The risen Jesus appeared to his followers and the doubting Thomas!

God is manifesting Himself with surprises all the time, lest humans get exasperated by the toils and snares of daily living!

The good news at Easter for me is, Jesus is looking for people to whom He can make His presence known! His followers can let it happen by bearing fruits of kindness and mindfulness!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A brown grass hopper!

The summer flowers have an unusual elegance and freshness bout them. So I try capturing them whenever I can!

But this photo surprised me when I down loaded into the lap top. Brown grass hopper! I wish I had noticed it while taking this photo!

What was it doing in the mid day heat!

The grass hoppers too survive on honey, I found out from a friend!

Every living creature is provided for!

And yet, we live in a violent world.  We live in culture of verbal and physical violence! The terrorising human bombings in Brussels during the holy week tell us of the violent instinct that is growing. 

So the mission of Jesus of doing good all the time has become even more significant to counter this trend! Pope Francis dedicated the year 2015 as the 'year of Mercy'.

The mission of students in a nearby college in the evening is to take cans of water to a village close by. They return to the college chapel at the end of the day and listen to the reading of the Sermon on the Mount before setting out on their daily trip to the village with water!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Desert Roses in near drought condition!

The mid day temperature has been hovering around 40 degree celsius for the last three weeks in most parts of Kerala, which is rather unusual for the month of March. This is the third summer months Anna and I spend in Kerala and it has not bee so hot previously! Many parts of the state experience scarcity of water. The reservoirs of water which is the source of hydro-electric power are becoming dry. Some tourist destinations which depend on boating do not have enough water in the lakes. 

I observed that one uses fifteen litres of water for a hand wash when the tap is fully open during the whole period. But if one were to open the tap partially and close the tap while rinsing hands with soap, one can wash hands in less than three litres of water. 

No wonder the environmentalists shout loud, 'take care lest we deplete the earth of its resources'!

On this Easter Sunday, these desert roses in our garden remind me of the immeasurable beauty God has blessed us with for us to richly enjoy! 

How privileged we are, to have been given the charge of our environment!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)     

Tense about T20 match today!

I felt encouraged by being able to meet with Joseph, Grace and Roshni and their friends from Brisbane, Glen and his family and Alison. They are in India in connection with three work shops Joseph, Glen and Alison  would hold on Maternal-foetal medicine. 

This specialty is relatively new focussing on making the foetal life optimal before the baby is born. It is a highly advanced specialty depending on foetal scans to enquire into the status of all the internal organs and intervene prophylactically and therapeutically.

Joseph is a pioneer with some original interventional procedures on the foetus to save life and reduce morbidity. 

Cricket did surface in our conversation as the Aussies would take on India on Easter Sunday in the T20 match at Mohali. But more conversation was on the unprecedented high temperature in March in 'god's own country'! All of them are on house boat today, which is a good interlude before the workshops!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Growth and development!

One of my pass times when Anna was away for the last two months, is to keep a watch on the growth and development of our five months old Deulcy.

She has gained in weight by 750 grams in the last three months, 1.5 cms in head circumference, 2 cms in height and 2 centimetres in length. She follows three words often and about five other words occasionally. She has developed object permanence. She runs 25 meters in five seconds and jumps over the parapet which is 18 inches tall. She indicates when she wants to go out and barks gently when there are strangers. She recognises familiar people by wagging her tail and bows her head for stroking. She would find my socks, chapel, pencil and hide  in her private corner. She sits at the carpet where Anna's chair was located whenever I am in that room. 

One game that she wants me to play with her is to run and catch her. I cannot match her speed. So she scores over me. To embarrass me, she having overtaken me, would sit down on the parapet and briskly runs away when I approach her! 

I do not need an alarm now, as she got synchronised with the time of my getting up. She would come and lick my hand till I am awake!

I have no idea about the 'mile stones' of growth and development of a dog! But that does not matter because she brings some surprises !

M.C.Mathew

Flowers awaiting Anna!

All being well, Anna is expected back this evening form Ludhiana after her seventy days of being with Ethan, Amy and Arpit.

Anna would be delighted to have these flowers (and more) in our garden to greet he on arrival!

There is something special about flowers in summer! They are not less pretty inspite of the heat and humidity! There is something within their substance that transcend the hostile climate!

A lesson of significance for us! What makes us live jubilantly and vicariously is the inner wellness of our life. Jesus of Nazareth reminded His followers, that 'I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly'!

M.C.Mathew(text and photos)

The danger of drifting!

As I kept watching this ball floating on the surface of a swimming pool moving in the gentle breeze of the morning, I connected with my own experience of drifting by the impact of the environment.

One recent experience which made me aware of the risk of drifting is the turbulent situation in some university campuses in the country. I was actively involved in student agitations during the initial years of my college and got into serious trouble with the police and narrowly escaped greater trouble. 

For everyone who has the ambition of being in political leadership, being active politically as a student is most desirable. But for rest of us, it can be a distraction leading us away from our sense of purpose. I was glad that I was rescued from losing my direction at that time by friends who helped me to revise my perspective!    

One can blame the circumstance, but it is only half the truth. While listening to families, when men have become addicted to alcohol, the excuse is the environment! Let me suggest that the will within us is stronger than the forces outside of us, because 'He who is with us is greater than the one who is in the world'!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

surprised by Joy

   

As I watched this lily flower from its bud, it surprised me how each detail of that flower was concealed in the bud. I had no knowledge of what to anticipate.

As I watch children I am surprised by what they do! One three years old child planted a kiss on my cheek before he left the consultation room!

I hope we treasure such surprise moments! They bring to us  the joy of surprises.

At the first day of the week, when the followers of Jesus went to the place where He was buried after His crucifixion, they were for a surprise. The stone over the tomb was rolled away and the tomb was empty! They met the risen Jesus little later! The followers who ran away from the crucifixion site were transformed once they met with the risen Jesus!

Some surprises leave lasting impressions in our lives!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Morning visitors!

Scores of hone bees hover over the butter cup flowers and many feed on them during the time they are open for about there hours in the morning!

The bees appear only when the butter cups are open! During the rest of the day, the bees are not seen in the garden! 

I am told that it is both the scent of the honey and the habitual conditioning which make the bees appear on the scene on time to feed on the honey!

Most of us also have some conditioning behaviours! Some of it would make us go through the day comfortably without even thinking about them ! However it is yet another experience if we can do most of what we do mindfully and being fully present! It creates a synchrony of outer and inner experiences!It is means to experience fullness of life because such experiences can become encounter moments with God of our lives present with us!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Summer sight !

The cacti at the hospital campus come alive with brilliant flowers during summer. This annual sight is a visual feast. A row of different cacti bloom for about three months during the year!

I feel that they get noticed less as they are placed in pots in a corner of the courtyard of the building that houses the canteen. I asked the gardener why they are placed in a less noticeable place. His response, ' they need direct sunlight all the time to flower'!

The plant bears the brunt of the heat to produce bright flowers! 

Life has has some rich gains, when lived in adverse circumstances! A domestic helper who works in the department often talks about her blessings in life! She has lot to endure, but hers is joyful spirit! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Final step before bricks are ready!

This sight is on our way to the hospital. This final step of getting the bricks ready has some technical aspects which I discovered a few days back. 

The fire has to burn underneath the pile of bricks for five days. In a pile there would about 20000 bricks. After five days, it would take another seven days or so before the bricks are cool enough to be taken out. 

The strength of the bricks is achieved through this process. It is the sustained heat that makes the bricks strong!

Sometimes, we feel like giving up when we feel burdened by difficulties and challenges! They are also another means for our inner formation of character!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The rhythm of butter cups!

Every morning, as we get the dogs out into the courtyard, the butter cups are only buds. By the time we are ready to leave for the hospital around 8am they are in full bloom. When it is mid day, they again fold up till next morning!

This sight has helped me to think about my daily rhythm! I realise that many daily events can get more organised according to the inner rhythm! There is one pattern of organisation according to the chronology of time and there is another order that corresponds to inner movements! Both together create the  joy of living!

M.C.Mathew(text and phot) 

Ten minutes of scavenging!

As I watched to see the perseverance of this squirrel in scavenging the white ants on a trunk of a Neem tree, I was surprised what it could do in ten minutes!

Is this another version of 'swatch Bharath'!

Whatever it is, it was a reminder to me that the 'survival of the fittest' is the language of nature!

However, the next day the white ants were back on the trunk! Even the tiniest of the creatures do have a place!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)  

In the fullness of time!

As I watched the lilies open one by one over a few days, I realise that there is a time for everything! To wait for the opportune time is a good habit of staying content!

M.C.Mathew(text and photos)

A look full of curiosity!

What is in a look of an infant or toddler!

As I watched this girl from a distance of about 100 meters during a meeting through my camera lens, I was fascinated by her fixed look at what was happening on the stage.

We look to see and comprehend! However a child looks for the sake of being occupied with what is happening. She does not have to think and analyse or frame ideas to comment or criticise. She is free to be taken up in the activity and engaged in its sequence. This is the highest form of inner focus, whereby when we just listen or see or think.  We are free to do the only thing that matters which is to be fully involved. 

As adults we are prone to be easily distracted! Our thoughts, feelings or judgements or expectations distract our attention!

How wonderful if we can be just listening while we hear or seeing when we watch something! This is an example of focused attention. 

One might explain this ability of children to be an infantile form of attention as they had limited life experience to have had a load of insights to distract them while seeing or listening! 

Blessed are those who can train their mind to be attentive fully to what is before them! It is possible to subdue the inner traffic in our mind by growing in interior silence and vigilant alertness.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A journey begins !

Once a child moves on the four limbs, he or she is likely to advance to move steadily forward towards walking unassisted. This progress is a symbol of confluence of child's efforts and neurological competence. It is fascinating to watch this progression as falls and hurts do not stop the momentum. In fact most children take this as a challenge to achieve the goal of walking!

Children are an example for us because they overcome their difficulties to achieve what hey set out to do. Theirs is a journey of hope and belief. 

As adults we give up or retreat too soon.

I met with a friend recently who was struggling to get the students stay attentive in the class. When I met the students of that batch, they told me that they do not come to class to hear what is already in the text book. They come to be inspired or enthused. 

Teachers get discouraged when students are less enterprising or responsive. I am prone to discouragements when students are indifferent. 

Seeing this child make several efforts to move inspite of collapsing on the floor, brought much encouragement to me about the value of making efforts and not giving up!

In a child's lectionary, 'give up' does not exist. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

  

Another farewell!

When we bid farewell to Lekha two weeks back in the department of Developmental Paediatrics and Child Neurology, I felt grateful for every person who worked in the department. It was the fifth farewell in three years, all of them leaving on account of marriage or going overseas. 

What is it which make such occasions special! We take time to recollect the contributions a person  made to the department! Lekha being form the nursing background was the main planner and thinker for preparing the Hall of Residence to welcome children for short term stay. 

Such times are also times of adjustment! To lose a colleague who was an anchor to the department leaves a void. At the same time it is important to remember that a person leaves the department better equipped and enabled. 

I am glad that five 'missionaries' were 'formed' in the department, a significant role of any department interested in fostering human development potential can be grateful for!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

CMC Vellore and Erode mission hospital!

As we sang the doxology at the end of signing of a memorandum of understanding between CMC Vellore and CSI Erode mission hospital, it announced the dawn of a new era in partnership! CMC has partnership agreement with Bangalore Baptist hospital, Ranipet mission hospital, and works closely with Ambur mission hospital and Karigiri hospital. It is also one of the three founding bodies of the Christian Health Institute in Dimapur. The college is in active contact with about thirty mission hospitals through its secondary hospital training programme for undergraduate students of medicine  and nursing! 

I think it is an exciting time for CMC now as it prepares to celebrate its history of medical education for hundred years in 2018! 

CMC is moving forward from being just Vellore-centric to go to places where its alumni work or mission hospitals are located! This is a historic moment as we need an alternative to the industry of health care in India by highlighting compassionate health care with bias for distributive justice that offers inclusive health care for all! 

When Dr. Ida Scudder went out for the first time in her noisy single cylinder motor car to conduct roadside clinics, it seems that people ran away from the road shouting, 'devil is coming' because they were seeing a motor car for the first time!  Dr. Scudder went after them in to the fields to invite them back to the clinic, but refused to return on that day. However on subsequent visits, the fear of the car had vanished when they experienced the spirit of care from Dr. Scudder. 

How symbolic is it now that CMC is organising itself to go to distant places knowing that it is how it was in the past!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

  

When the alumni meet!

I watched how these friends interact when they met last week at CMC Vellore. As the alumni of the college, they returned to the student days,  life in the hostel and life at work and training! The ease and cheer with which they returned to their student days gave me yet another insight about the 'special' experiences most alumni of the college have had during their time at CMC. They told me  that often the friendships with began during student days last a life time.  

I have been to some formal alumni meetings of CMC in India and overseas. The atmosphere is an authentic expression of genuine friendships. 

For some reason, while sharing their lives in the men's and women's hostel, they develop a bonding which builds trust and affection to last a life time!

In my class of 200 hundred student sat Nagpur medical college, I could relate meaningfully to about thirty people and to my clinical batch of twenty students. The rest were just names to me. Now, I have limited contact with about ten people after forty years. I wish it was different. 

The annual get together of the alumni at Vellore in August and the active alumni association who connects with the alumni contribute to keep this spirit of camaraderie alive a and fresh!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo

Family of flowers!

This family rose flowers are in different hues of colours! As I have watched them every morning while watering them, I noticed that the buds appear in pink and the fully open flowers are almost white! However even the fully open flowers are in different mix of white and pink .

I found this as a valuable guide to understand the differences we find between children growing up in the same family. They absorb values and insights differently and convey that as they grow up. The different shades of behaviour, attitudes and interests spring form the way they processed their experiences while growing up. 

Of late, I have become even more are of this as I have had the privilege of observing some families closely! 

It is important for parents to be willing to accept this as a rich experience to be grateful for! Yesterday a family of music fans told me that their three children play three different instruments that they almost have an orchestra when they sing!

Also children become different as they become adults in perception and conduct much to our delight and surprise! 

Our differences are indeed a blessing that make our lives colourful !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)  

  

Looking for attention!

This particular posture of Dulcey is for attention. She wants to be stroked and spoken to! After she received that attention she would go back to her toys and play items.

All of us wait for attention to be heard, understood or spoken to! It is when this longing is fulfilled we find encouragement to relate and to belong!

Most children cry to receive attention when they are hungry, lonely, or some form of pain or anxiety! We console children when we sense such a need expressed through their cry.

I wonder whether we as adults are aware of the needs of each others even when they are expressed in different ways that call for attention!

I is most significant dimension of relationship between spouses. To give attention even when it is not asked for! To be in that attitude of consciousness of the needs of each other is the key to deepening relationships at home!

M.C.Mathew