Always Vigilant!

This is the posture of Daffney, when she hears a sound or a movement! I watched her in this posture for a few seconds before she ran to explore. 

I saw her chasing a cat, who is not a frequent visitor to our cottage. She is used to one who  spends the nights in our garage!

Daffney noticed that this was not the regular visitor and was therefore not accommodative!

Daffney is particular about her territorial control. Anything that she is not used to would be resisted. Bu tif we were to plead with her to let it be, she often complies. 

It is good fun having her walk with us in the garden because she would go to all the  sites where something different happened since the previous walk. It was she who drew our attention to a bunch of banana which had fallen on the ground!  There is always something interesting and spontaneous about her!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Morning and Evening!

Many things happened in the last three weeks during which time, I could not post my reflections on this blog spot! Life is unfolding its mystery all the time.

During the morning evening walks yesterday in our garden, what I noticed spoke to me.

The papaya fruit looked ripe enough to be plucked and I intended to do it in the evening. I needed a ladder to pluck it. So I postponed it for the evening.

At the evening walk, I noticed that birds and squirrels had already claimed the fruit. Sometimes we tend to leave a fruit for the birds to feed on. This time, I had intended to pluck it.  

Anything can happen between our intention and action. 

We live under many compulsions and demands and we sometimes let opportunities slip by. 

As for me this object lesson came to me at the appropriate time. This was a call to  live more vigilantly and responsibly by using time circumspectly!   It is necessary to keep a watch on doing what we are called to do them promptly and purposefully rather than allow disorder and disruptions to rule over us.!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Between a mother and child!

Face and its expression!

One of my interests in photography is to capture faces of children. I have a large collection of them which I revisit periodically to learn about their emotional communication!

As I watched this child go through a series of changes in his facial expression from the time he came into the room and settled to feel comfortable, I got a sense of the process of adaptation that toddlers might go through. There are at least five stages that I fond common with toddlers. 

The first is an arousal anxiety which is what you notice here in this photograph. Then it is an expression of enquiry by looking  around. Thirdly it is an early settling indicating cognitive response either of comfort or distress. Then it is a reaction based on the cognitive awareness of engaging or turing to the parent for comfort. Finally it is a state of readiness for exploration!

All these would happen in the first couple of minutes. An indulgent adult behaviour of trying to reach out by touching the child or directly asking questions like 'what is your name', etc can be too much of a burden for a child to process. 

The best adult response is to focus on the adult accompanying a child and allow the child time to adjust to this process of becoming present. 

Yesterday, a child reached out to me by wanting to take my pen form my pocket when he did not receive my attention! He conveyed his readiness to interact. Often let a child take the initiative rather than reach out instantly as soon as you are with a child!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

Child friendly displays!

For the last thirty five years, since moving to the discipline of child development, I was experimenting with an idea of getting children to become aware of the environment. Every room has surfaces of windows, doors, cupboards, etc. 

After a lot of experimentation I have a sense that if we use non fast colours for the surfaces and paste on them pictures that children can identify with, then it is likely that that they would notice them and indicate an interest or begin a conversation around the pictures. It is easier if children have a non animate object to relate to before they can relate socially to those present in a room. 

The sudden entrance into a room with people in the room can be too difficult for a child to relate to initially. Often even to establish a visual contact with another person can be difficult till the child is confident of the environment and made to feel comfortable. While the surfaces have to be light coloured, the pictures can be coloured in primary colours that children can visually discern well. The pictures ought just to be of a moderate size which can fit into their visual field. It is better to have pictures arranged with spaces in between to create visual contrast. I feel that pictures simulating the natural form and shape would be better than line drawings or animations.

It is good to focus on creating a child friendly ambience where ever children spend a good part of their time. It holds good for the homes as well. 

M.C.Mathew(text

Presence and process!

Of late, I have had some occasions to organise group interactions during meetings. 

Usually the group meetings begin with one or two taking a lead. Towards the end of the discussion, most group members are animated and participate by being fully present and sharing the thoughts. To me this is a fascinating sight as how even a passive person becomes drawn towards the group when the presence and process are valued by the group. Watching this group interact I noticed how the body language communicates a pleasant and communicative interaction.

Yesterday a group of students came to visit me. While we were talking over an issue, I realised how, I was dominating the conversation! That automatically made the students to a role saying 'yes or no'!

It is important to unfold the process during interactions with an openness to ask and listen rather than dominate by strong opinions. In fact I know of experienced animators using deliberately, the technique of provocative questions to arouse the interest and participation of the less involved members of a group!

The presence and process is important than just the outcome in a group discussion. If the group meeting were to lead to an ambience of building communicative process, it is the beginning a journey that would continue even after the meeting is over!  

M.C.Mathew(tet an photo) 

Struggling to move!

Every time I watch a child with central Motor Dysfunction attempts to move, I have a sense of helplessness. 

It is now thirty five years I have been in full time engagement with children suffering form neuro-developmental disorders. I have not been able to answer a question which was one of my objectives when I got started- to make movement easier for children with spasticity!

There are several palliative or facilitatory process by exercises or medicines to assist children to reduce spasticity! But all the measures have had limited benefit in some of them. 

Many children end up being spastic when they have not been moved enough in the first year of life following an insult to the motor cortex or basal ganglia of the brain. 

One movement regime I have found most useful is swimming. But it is one activity most parents resist for fear of exposing a child to cold and cough. It is true that we do not have preheated swimming pool or therapeutic pool. At least six months of year when the the day is hot, the water temperature would be comfortable for swimming for children! But parents the have other excuses.

I fear that neighbours, relatives or professionals decide for the family giving parents little chance to explore for themselves.

The culture in God's own country(state of Kerala) on many matters is to go by public opinion! I wonder whether we can counter it by being more objective!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)  

Something different!

The lawn in front of our cottage has a carpet look, thanks to the monsoon. There are some unusual flowers during this season.

The flower above is one such one. It has a bluish hue in its centre with petals fused at the centre! The petals have a wavy edge which is rather special.  

Some flowers capture your attention because there is something in it which is unusual.

We live in a self absorbed culture and often live unmindful of others! When someone does something unusual, you are surprised and delighted!

Yesterday, while having supper after a day long meeting, one from our table offered to gather the plates and bring the desert! We sat talking while one cared to serve! Such acts of kindness catch one's attention and initiate a process of thinking about others!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The one above 

Another way of exercising!

As I watched this young man exercise by jogging several rounds in the morning with a bag hanging over his back, I presumed that he is serious about his exercise. Later some body who have seen him almost everyday do this mentioned to me that he is competing for state level athletics meet. 

I came across a retired professor of medicine exercise with weights strapped to his thigh. 

The exercise regimen to enhance physical endurance and cardiac tolerance is taking all forms of exploration!

I realised from my experience that with minimum effort it is possible to cover about 5000 foot steps in  a day which might be equivalent to about three kilometres or so. 

One way of doing it is to take a walk for ten minutes every two hours while at work, if possible climb stairs as sell during this. in any case movement during working hours has become a good practice to refresh our body and relax our mind. 

One big advantage of movement is that it restores the physiology of the body by better blood circulation and destressing the muscles. 

I have found it useful to invite friends to walk with me when they want to have conversation!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

Too short a visit!

I watched this butterfly descending on this plant from a distance of about forty meters and I sensed the way it flew in it would be there only for a short time! It had an avian style in its flight. All I could get was this distant view with my compact camera.

I know very little about its species. As I watched in fly in and out all in less than a minute, I had a first hand experience of what some butter fly fans had mentioned to me about some rare varieties of butterfly and their different habitat.

Although I waited for over half an hour it did not return.

I am content to wait for its next visit! Its exquisite beauty was such that even a glance from a distance was captivating and lasting! 

M.C.Mathew

A daily question !

I hear this question  from parents "when would my child grow up to be an adult"! They often ask this in exasperation. They find it difficult to wait for their children to show signs of maturity and wise choices.

If 25 years of age is when one becomes an   adult then, it is important that we give even more importance to the adolescent and post adolescent years to accompany them with our availability.

There is a growing process which takes a different form and pattern after 18 years. Most children at 18 years would be at college and their lives are widely exposed to the social media, visual media and public opinion. They also have access to money for personal spending. The peer influences determine their behaviour.

I was reflecting whether people between 18 years and 25 years receive mentoring and formative support considering that many of them can lose their anchor in the good traditions they have been used at home at this stage in their lives!

I wonder whether there can be a greater attention of children of this age group so that they are enabled in this transition to be adults with caring support and personal attention!

I met a teacher at college who told me the other day, that he meets with seven students every week to keep in touch with them. He is encouraged by their trust in him and his access to them during their difficult decision making process.

M.C.Mathew (photo and text)