One shall become two!

Anna and I were at her nephew's wedding a few days back. Mrudula and Ebby welcomed Jane into their home when their son Abhishek married her in a solemn wedding service at their home church. At all the church marriage services, the Bible passage on the 'two shall become one flesh' is part of the reading at the service.  It is indeed a mystery as how the two hailing from two backgrounds set out on journey to become ONE! 

Anna and I celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary earlier this month. We took time to reflect on the theme of the 'two becoming one flesh'. It has been a journey of discovery, intimacy and mutuality through which we are getting a sense of this mystery to the extent that it can become a reality! 

We took time to reflect on the theme of 'one becoming two' for the parents. The parents take their son or daughter to the wedding service and return home with one more son or daughter. Suddenly the one has BECOME two, the implications of which many parents do not anticipate and prepare themselves for! Although the parents would  have thoughtfully replaced the single cot with a double one or added an extra chair at the dining table, or include the incoming 'son' or 'daughter' in the family conversations, most parents need time and preparation to have a conscious attachment to the new son or daughter with similar affection and inclusiveness that they are used to to giving to their own son or  daughter. 

This is the other mystery of marriage. One son begets a daughter to his parents. One daughter begets a son to her parents. For parents on both sides, it is the beginning of another journey to welcome the incoming son or daughter with patience, understanding, consideration, warmth, openness, etc. To duplicate a similar quality of attention which parents have with their own child and offer the same or more to the new son or daughter is both a privilege and an experience. 

This is perhaps the most tangible contribution parents can make to 'both' their children for them to become one flesh. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)