Lotus flowers of different colours!

This season is special for nature lovers as the gardens are beginning to  be in full bloom.

It is the first time I have noticed the lotus flowers in different colours. The gardener told me that the lotus flowers are commonly seen in white colour.

The first two flowers were photographed  on the same day and the third one about three weeks earlier. I found the third flower missing when I went  the next day to take a photo, when it would have been in full bloom.

The bud blooms into a full flower in about five days. It is an ornamental flower and is esteemed high above the common flowers.

These flowers are fresh, fragile. fragrant and symbolise fullness of colour and texture.

The story of the lotus flower  reveals a home truth.

It is so attractive that it hardly stays in the pond for a day two as those passing by would normally pluck it for table decoration. Its life is cut short by those attracted by its elegance. So in a pond of lotus flowers, what we would usually see are the plants and not flowers. The flowers are for the beholder. But  the flowers do not last long enough in the pond for it to be a visual treat for many.

This is a paradox. We deny the lotus flowers its full life although we esteem it among all other flowers. ‘Do not pluck’ sign boards do not stop people from plucking them.

This tells us about our human instincts. We yield to our impulses. We seek immediate gratification. Many psychologists suggest that delayed gratification is an indication of personal maturity of a person.

The culture of immediate gratification is landing us in serious trouble globally. We tend to land in huge debt because of our buying spree. We take larger mortgage than what we can afford to pay back because we are in a hurry to live in large houses. We buy big cars as a mark of status symbol by borrowing money from the banks. We live beyond our means by overspending on travel, luxury goods, entertainment, etc.

An average urban middle income employee would have to spend more than half of the monthly income to pay the debts accrued. This is most stress producing during times of inflation and monetary devaluation.

We need to advocate delayed gratification as a better option in life. We can have what we desire on a later occasion without the risk of being stress driven, if only we see it as a wiser calling in life!  


M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Two playful squirrels

I watched these two squirrels playfully chasing each other for a while. They kept moving between the adjacent trees and took turns to play with each other. In between they returned to their favourite spots in the trees to rest.

The squirrels do this often. I have noticed this almost on all days during my walk. I have watched this with Parakeets,   Robins, Warblers, Oriels  and Minas. It is is only the Magpie Robins who were an exception to this. 

These sights give me some insights about the way they live in their world. The parakeets and warblers when are in groups of five or more can withstand the attack from the crows and even chase them away. 

I have picked up some lessons from squirrels and birds.

They live freely and fully amidst the dangers they face from the predators. Their strength is in being together. They build their familiarity through play, searching for food together and protecting each other. The herd instinct is obvious. The birds have a special tone in their chirping, when they sense danger. They flock together and fly together.

It is in contrast to the human instincts we observe often. I think we have become even more self seeking in the recent times. Our mindfulness of others and their needs is getting substituted by a passion to be comfortable and successful. This is not how we have been destined to be. We are all meant to be thoughtful of the well being of others as well!

The children during their play time demonstrate this interest in others. Yesterday while visiting a home, we realised how the two pre-school children were keen to include the other in the play by turn taking. 

Let us see each other as those sharing in the journey to become a human family!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Student nurture !

Anna and I were invited to attend the annual day of the Occupational and Physiotherapy students association annual day on Saturday. They are ten students in each batch and so it is a small of hundred students, who were responsible to organise the annual day function. It was a good evening well spent watching  their performance of a play, instrumental music, singing and dance. 

One of the things that was evident was their high level of organisational skills. It was obvious that they co-ordinated well to bring the best from each person. 

During our conversation with students, we realised that they get influenced by the ambience of the Christian Medical College. They appreciate the cordial staff-student relationship, enabling and encouraging learning environment and  up-building  social relationships. 

From the time they came to CMC, the students have made significant strides in advancing their skills. They discovered their acting, singing  and dancing skills during their time here. Most of them were performing for the first time. They effused confidence and artistry. A few students we knew from their school days had made a remarkable progress in their holistic development. That is true of others as well from what we heard from the faculty.

It was refreshing to know that, the most students transcend the class room learning requirements to attend to their formative experience. The vice-principal in charge of the allied health students mentioned to me that these students behave responsibly and enthusiastically. They prepare themselves to excel in their profession. 

The focus on student nurture ought to be a priority for an educational institution. We were glad to find this happening in a meaningful way! 

Students came carolling !

Ana and I had a surprise yesterday, when the medical students came carolling around 11 at night. It is not usual for them to visit the guest houses. So we were privileged and delighted to have their singing visit. 

The carolling by visiting the faculty homes at the Christian Medical College campus is an annual ritual by the students. Usually it is in the last week of November announcing the advent season. Apart for their singing and bringing greetings, they carried cake for distribution, which I thought was an addition to what usually happens. 

The students have an array of activities during the academic year. Recently we found out that the students meet for their class prayers on Fridays between 6 and 8pm, during which time no other activities are normally held. About thirty or so of students from each batch, attend this prayer meeting when they share and remember to pray for themselves, others and the college activities. 

I like the way, even after 113 years of the founding of the college, some of these traditions are held in esteem with the intention of giving students a feeling of having a home in the campus, away from their own homes. Although the interaction between students may have declined due to an ‘individualised’ life style, Anna and I felt that a lot of what happens as extra curricular activities form the students into a communicating community.

The Men’s hostel is resuming the practice of having invited faculty come for lunch on Sundays, to foster better staff-student relationships.  

Anna and I felt encouraged by many acts of kindness we received from the students during our three months of stay here. They ministered to us by their warmth and goodwill. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)    

A cloudy day !

This is the monsoon season at Vellore. Some days look down cast, although the down pour is only a drizzle. To have several cloudy days without rains is bit unusual. There is a threat of cyclone striking the coastal areas in Andhra Pradesh. If it were to occur, it would be the third cyclone during this monsoon.

It can be cloudy, raining, or rain with thunderstorm or end up as a cyclone!

I suppose this has a symbolic meaning in our lives. We can go through similar situations in our inner being. 

We may feel mildly disturbed with events happening to ourselves or to others. I felt disturbed by watching the news of a woman being attacked when she was in an ATM, ending up with head injury and hemiparesis. We  can get drenched emotionally in a torrent of upheavals caused by unexpected events or series of unpleasant experiences. I felt this when I was listening to the story of a family who lost all their life savings, when the investment company collapsed. The family saved to send their children to college for professional courses. Their lives are shattered. 

There are times when we can feel even more disturbed emotional!

On such occasions, it is necessary to stay inwardly composed because, upheavals can bring some valuable insights to life. As  we stay watching sea waves striking at the shore, one can find shells and corals getting deposited on the beach. The sight of the waves can be intimidating, but they carry some valuables for us to cherish.

Any difficult experience can cause inner turbulence; but it also carries with it insights and and some message of inner healing!

I saw this happening when a child returned from his play with bruises over knees and elbows. He did not complain, but his mother noticed them. When asked the child told the mother, ‘Every game carries the risk of falling down and suffering injury. But that cannot stop me form playing the game’. 

Life has its mixture of undulating events. The summary of all experiences is growth and maturity!    

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)     

Meeting place

One of the recent initiatives my colleagues at work attempted was to provide a meeting place for parents to come together for play time for their children and chat time for themselves. It has enthused the children, parents, and us equally.

We are now promoting neighbourhood meetings of parents to facilitate friendships and sharing of experiences. The neighbourhood friendships are on a decline as most people remain housebound watching TV. Children too get addicted to this, so much so even meal times are spent sitting before the TV in many homes. We suggested to a family to invite a few others for a pot luck dinner and spend time playing some indoor games.

One family came back feeling glad for the initiative. They decided to meet in another home the next week.

What brings together at least men for social occasions is partying time with alcohol. The women and children are excluded and the evenings are spent stressfully.

We need to promote inclusive alcohol free occasions of social gatherings of families, to promote neighbourhood meetings and relationships. When leisure times are better occupied, even men would find themselves drawn by the desire to be at home in the evenings than being at pubs, clubs or parties.

We need to promote home based and family centred social occasions. That is how we promote intimacy within family and friendships between neighbours!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The Sun and the Moon !

I remember a visit to the Pondicherry beach with Anna’s classmates, who gathered for their alumni get-together. It was a cloudy and misty morning and the occasion was the thanksgiving service of their batch.

Among some memories of that morning, one particular experience resurfaced in my thought this morning. The sight of the rising son and the going down of the moon. It was the twilight of that morning that speaks to me now.

The in between times are surprising and engaging. 

What was surprising was that the moon light in the morning was bright enough to lead us about a kilometre from the hotel  to the beach. It was still bright with the moon light at the beach for us to view the sea and the arrival of the boats  to the shore with their catch of fish. As soon as the hallow of the rising sun appeared in the east with its increasing brightness with every passing second, the sight of the moon became dim and faint to the watching eyes.  It was a conspicuous contrast. The moon whose light led us the way till the beach, now faded into the background and a brighter sunlight took over to lead us further. The greater light of the son provided us better visibility and clarity. All of these happened in the twilight- the in between time, the dawn.

We live with the consciousness of who we are, in the light of our past experiences. We have been used to a level of consciousness and interpreting our circumstances with that level of understanding. But during the transition times in our lives, a heightened consciousness dawns on us, when our optic of sight, insight and foresight become brighter and clearer.

The disciple of Jesus of Nazareth, Thomas, made a confession of his new sight, insight and foresight to Jesus, when he said, ‘My Lord and My God’(John.20:28). Thomas was unbelieving of the resurrection of Jesus. Jesus appeared to him and to the other disciples while they were in a closed room(V.26) announcing peace and a personal invitation to Thomas to feel the healed marks of the crucifixion on his body. It is to this revealing gesture of Jesus, Thomas responded with a heightened consciousness  of who he was and who Jesus was. 

These twilight moments are given moments for our benefit! They are transforming movements. The moon provided the light till then and a greater light, the sun took over from then onwards!

Stay open to such occasions of inner awakening and a new consciousness (metanoia)! Life takes a new plane of existence and meaning from then on! Our understanding is enlarged and deepened in such occasions that we come to face to face with a new perception of realities and perspectives.

I have been through a new level of consciousness of myself during my recovery period after surgery. It is a twilight period in my life between my illness and the way ahead! I am glad for this experience! Such occasions are precious, sacred and worth waiting for!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)    

Closed or open !

As I watched this butterfly in the garden yesterday, I saw its different wing movements. The wings were closed for most of the time when it was still and opened the wings that too partially occasionally. To be able to watch a butterfly closely for a while is a rare experience. So I waited till it moved away.

The occasional opening  of the wings revealed its rich design and eye-catching colour texture. Its  appearance was subdued when the wings were closed.

That set in motion a train of thoughts in my mind. Having spent thirty five years in treating children as a doctor, I have often been intrigued by the level of openness of children for conversation and interaction. By the time they are in their teens, they choose to remain closed or open with others.

Just as the butterfly choose to open its wings depending on its perception of the wind, humidity, external threat, so too the adolescents choose their level of openness in different situations.

During a conversation with four teenage children recently, they asked me a searching question: ‘How can our parents expect us to be open to them, when they hide so much of themselves from us! They have been distant from us in our growing up years due to their preoccupation with work, that we are not near enough to them to open ourselves. The more they press us to be open, the more we like to remain closed ’.

To my searching question, ‘How can parents help you to be open’, one of them said, 'they need to stay close to us when we are growing up. We cannot be open to them instantly’.

I have noticed a mother and her two early school going daughters bi-cycling regularly. The mother is taking the effort to stay close to her daughters. I met a mother and her teenage daughter on bicycles. When I met one of them recently and mentioned about their cycling routine, she said, ‘we both have been close to each other and we enjoy our conversations’.

How much our children are open to us during the teen age years is predetermined by the openness we have built up from the early childhood.

In that sense parenting is a responsibility as well as a privilege! Our habit of relating to our children when they are young is seminal to creating a desire in our children to be open to us!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Fancy dress- its larger meaning!

I was invited to witness a fancy dress presentation, yesterday of the Montessori pre-school in the campus. I found all the children in interesting roles.

This girl in Mother Teresa’s attire captured my attention. Her parents had trained her to walk like the mother. It was an effort to get the costume and make her act like the mother.

Once someone told me that, the fancy dress is more than a role play or wearing a costume. It is getting into the role of the person.

It looks like that every thing in life has an obvious meaning and a deeper meaning.

One parent told me yesterday that their child refused to take on many roles they proposed. He made the choice himself and the parents were most happy about it.

One child with whom I had a brief conversation told me that, he enjoyed making things with his hand and that is why he chose to act like a carpenter.

There is a thought or desire which children express even at this young age. Children  think, explore and choose. They are exposed to a variety of informations that they too think and consider many issues.

This calls for considerable healthy investment into their lives. It is through make-belief play we can influence pre-school children. They can also be influenced by good bed time pictorial stories. They would find the stories from the childhood of parents equally interesting.

What they shall become personally or professionally is not just decided at the time of school leaving. The pre-school children are already fantasising and we need to stay close to them to get them to think and pursue a purposeful way, compatible with their skills and instincts.


M.C.Mathew(text and photo)  

Gratitude- be generous in expressing it !

The lawn in front of the Scudder auditorium at the CMC Bagayam campus is now turning into a garden of different flowers.

During the last two months, I noticed during my walks that about six men were regularly at work in the garden, laying the bed, planting, trimming, watering…etc.

Behind the blooming garden, there is this story of hard work and effort.

The gardeners do this to provide a visual feast to the visitors and to give a colourful look to the garden. The gardeners too feel fulfilled when the garden is blooming.

One gardener told me that it is when others come to visit the garden they feel most fulfilled.  It is others who give value and acknowledgement to their efforts. The gardeners thrive on the appreciation and encouragement they receive from the visitors.

We receive attention, care, and provisions from many people around us. They deserve to be noticed and thanked. I was reminded of this again yesterday.

When I was away from my room, someone left a beautiful flower arrangement in a large vase outside my room. It took a while for me to find the person who was generous. Later, when I got to know who the visitor was, I got in touch with him. He told me that his son who was going to graduate in an allied health course on Monday, wanted to express his gratitude to us for helping him to decide about  joining the course. Anna and I were only marginally involved with him, but he still wanted to remember us on his special occasion. This was a moving gesture towards us.

It is is when we are grateful and express it appropriately we offer value to others. When we express joy for what we have received, the person responsible for that gesture feels honoured and fulfilled.

There is much we can do to bring joy to others- gratefulness is one way of doing it!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Teenage friendships

The same gender friendships during teenage years has a special formative influence on the adulthood later.

Both boys and girls in teenage years are looking for their identity, affirming friendships, belonging and acceptance.

Most parents offer this in good measure. The teenage children seem to lose intimacy of contact with their parents and drift towards their friends. This is a vulnerable time when relationships with the opposite gender can take more than social friendships. Although I feel that attraction towards the opposite gender is normal, the response ought to be disciplined and measured.

One way to protect oneself from being overtaken by intense emotional engagement with the opposite gender is to develop meaningful, trusting and communicating friendships with people from the same gender. It provides nearness to share emotional and personal needs and offers a good buffer to stay on course without getting buffeted by peer pressure. Such friendships with two or three people will go a long way to have a companionship for emotional stability and sense of belonging.

The teenagers tend to feel that they are neither rooted in their homes nor are free to be independent. During this in between stage of life, friends from the same gender group can help in developing mature approach to challenges, opportunities and difficulties in life.

When we see some ten agers showing a reactive streak or rebellious spirit, remember that they are seeking for acceptance and belonging. They behave that way to express their inner conflict or fear of the future.

Teenagers need much understanding from adults, teachers and parents. They need loving support as this period in their lives is vulnerable to temptations, deceptions and short comings.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Finding a colour that represents us !

I was encouraged to find in this artist another fan of blue colour. I have had to listen to a comments from close friends, ‘MC has only shades of blue in his wardrobe’. In fact it looks like that I am drawn by blue shades when I buy presents for others.

Our choice of colour is a subjective perception. However there can be several reasons. In my case, I moved from white colour to brown, maroon, cream and of late blue. When I saw this news paper article I went through a mental journey to recall any tangible reason for this change in my liking of colours when I bought clothes for myself.

I wonder whether it has something to do with my inner orientation! I stuck with white in my adolescent years as that is the colour of clothes what my parents usually wore. At college, I had an agitated spirit in the initial years bordering to rebellion. During those years I stayed with brown. Later after a sobering personal experience, I settled down to shades of maroon. It was during my working years, I shifted to shades of cream probably because I thought that a lighter shade of clothes provided a ‘mature’ look. It was in the last fifteen years, I shifted to shades of blue usually checked in design mixed with white, for a conscious reason that  I wanted to communicate a message of warmth and peace, when I am in formal settings.

Each of us chooses a colour usually because of a reason! The visual appeal may not be the only factor! I read with interest any comments about the meaning of colours!

I realised in the recent years, that we are outside what we are inside. The inside needs gentle and soft outward expression through behaviour, demeanour, communication style, dressing, language style, etc. This consciousness has grown with me. For me, who was naturally impulsive and in a hurry to speak and slow to listen, there was a challenge- to become more relational and be present to people without intimidating them in any way.

I have been on a journey to connect with people socially, emotionally and behaviourally.  There is an inner movement towards this. I do not suggest that we become somber, dry of fun and laughter or appear stand offish with our peculiarities.

The non verbal communication we offer to others is through many signals we send out. Therefore, whatever we wear or however we wear the clothes, it needs to have an authentic expression of what we represent or desire to represent.

The sports wear, party dress, casual wears also tell a story about ourselves. The outer has a resonance of the inner!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)



 

The differences in the whole!

The front to the chapel at the CMC Vellore campus is historically known as sunken garden, because it has a pond and a garden which maintains the symmetry of the chapel. It is during the season of the college and the graduation days, it looks most impressive. 

As I watched this garden on the college day morning last week, I noticed the asymmetry in the growth of the plants on either side of the foot path leading to the chapel entrance. I know the gardener who has been tending the garden for about thirty years now, who has a high order of aesthetic sense and takes every effort while trimming the plants, to have it done symmetrically. He once told me that they do not keep symmetry in their growth, making it difficult to trim it symmetrically. 

It is the two palms trees that tell this story of growing differently even more! They were planted on the same day and time; watered and manured similarly and the soil conditions are alike. There is no tall trees on either side to obstruct the growth upwards.Yet it grows at its own pace. The one factor that makes them different is that  they come from two different seedlings, which could affect its tallness and rate of growth. The other factor is that the short palm may have suffered from a sickness that  slowed its growth.

To me it has a message of some significance for an academia institution. We receive students from different backgrounds and they behave, grow, respond and express differently. It is true of students coming to study medicine as well. Some students need help and care when they drift from their focus which compromise their performance. 

It is significant that these differences that can exist are portrayed in nature symbolically outside the chapel. All those who come to the chapel are different and yet they find a common home in God’s presence during the worship and prayer at the chapel. We are brought together into a family of seekers of God, no matter how different we are individually. God uses our differences to make a mosaic that display the created order of richness in diversity. 

During my 15 years of being in the faculty of CMC Vellore, I have noticed that at the end of five years of medical studies, most students are drawn by the motto of the institution, 'not to be ministered unto but to minister'. Each one is different but leaves the institution with a call to live a life of service! The differences in them are natural; but what they become is conditioned by how we nurture them and allow them to blossom!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Home and School as a continuum !

I have watched this sight of children being escorted to the play school from the bus stop and being taken back to their pick up spot after the school hours. To watch children walking, holding their hands together, in an orderly fashion has set me thinking!

The care giver who helps in this process gently prompts them  and keeps talking to them during this short walk. The children ask questions and she would answer. One question, I heard a child ask her was, ‘Why can’t I stay in the school’! The answer was, 'Nobody would be in the school to look after you in the evening, as I will go home to look after my daughter. An interesting dialogue!

The child enjoys the school and and at the mention of the home, the child was stilled. The child travelled back in his mind to think of the delights at home.

Is it not wonderful to have children who enjoy the school and home alike!

For this to happen, we require a welcoming, child-freindly and caring atmosphere at school. This indeed is not a common feature in many of our schools. The school is a frightening experience for many children. We need a new outlook to schooling- it is to be ‘schole’, which by meaning is a place of leisure! I wish we would shift our focus form teaching to making learning a pleasure!

We need to consider how we set up inclusive homes where children too have equal space, position, recognition and participation in the home. I asked a mother, what does her five year old daughter do when she returns from the school. After kissing her mother, she would have a bath, change her dress, eat her snacks and go to her toy shelf, till it is time for her to go out into the park to play with her friends. A easy and pleasant transition from school to home and home to school!

Any change in the learning methods for children needs to involve looking at the the school and home ambience alike! A happy child at home is usually happy at school; a happy child at school is usually happy at home. Life for a child, is a continuum and we are just different facilitators to offer that experience at home and school!


M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A man and woman shall become One !

I have had opportunities to observe the courtship practices of birds during my walk, as it takes place in the open in the lap of nature, often in the privacy of thickly covered foliage. The Parakeets, Magpie Robins, Orioles, Pigeons and Sparrows are the ones that I noticed in this transition of relationships. 

When I started my walking exercises following surgery two months back, I noticed birds in groups or as single. The parakeets were in groups of five to ten. Now I watch them mostly in pairs. Between being in a group and in pairs, there was a phase, when the male  parakeet would use the bird song to entice the female one. When a pair was formed, attempts by any other male bird will be resisted by the pair that is formed. At least for this mating season, they would remain together. I have noticed two nesting places of the parakeets on a hollow in the trunk of trees.

As against this, the Magpie Robins used to stay in isolated areas alone. Now, I see them in pairs staying together, flying together and singing reciprocally. They too would become romantic shortly and find their nesting places. I have not seen any single Magpie Robin during the last week, all of them have become pairs, at least six,  in different places. They have a preference for the same territory that, it is a delight to watch the same pair in the same place on most of the days.

Birds find their own mates. Humans too do the same; in the western culture after a period of dating and unfortunately in many instances, after living in. This is invading the culture in India too in the urban settings.

The other way of coming together in a relationship is through being ‘arranged’ into a relationship by parents or well wishers or professional web based ‘match makers’.

In either case, the lesson I pick up from the birds is that they surrender to the instinct to become a family of male and female birds. Humans now seem to depart from this. The same gender live-in relationships have got formalised legally in some parts of the world. This tendency is on the rise and the civil society seems to give consent to this, on the basis of a notion that some are created to be so. I feel it is  a distorted view of life, brought into being as an extension of the ‘hippie culture’ of rebellion to anything that is formal, traditional and value based.

We are people of two genders. The sameness is stereotypical and differences are complementary to make life wholesome.

Watch and learn from  the birds- they still follow the created order. For humans, the created order is  ‘a man and woman shall become one’!


M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
 

From Below Upwards !

I watched this wood pecker in action for a while. I noticed it moving around the branch to find a safe place and position to peck. It settled down perched between these two branches for pecking. The hanging body weight gives it a better velocity of movement to peck. The wood pecker normally holds the the branch firmly parallel to the branch. It is a climber’s style.

A coconut climber climbs up to drop coconuts. One has to climb   a tree to pluck mango. This movement upwards is to find fruits.

I have had time this week to reflect on this movement from below upwards!

Two months back I was ill, admitted in a hospital and operated upon. I was rather low in spirit now and then. I have completed this week two months after my surgery. I feel well and refreshed. I too have  had a movement from being ‘low to wellness’.

We will hit our lows now and then. The challenge is to move upwards rather than choose to give up or resign to the circumstances.

As I stepped up my daily living activities little by little each week as advised, I realised how that movement restored confidence, hope and capacity.

However, what made a difference in my inward being was times of silence and waiting. The activity that refreshes our soul is silence and not more activity! The body needs the activity of exercise and the soul needs the activity of silence.

Is silence an activity at all! Is it not a passive state!

It is in silence, we still our wandering mind to allow it to rest and feel refreshed. The wandering or preferred thoughts would seek entry into the silent resting mind; it is an activity of inner diligence that would help initially to let them go by, rather than steal our attention! Later as we get used to the habit of interior silence, this activity turns into being attentive towards God for being drawn by Him. It is by our presence to God, God becomes present. The milieu of interior silence allows us to prepare room for God consciousness to grow within. This is the entrance to encounter a contemplative experience with God. We can only travel up to this entrance and it is God who can carry us further to His manifest presence.

This is the journey from below upwards- from our state to the door way to God’s presence. Our times of meditation on the scripture and prayer are means for this to happen.  Practicing interior silence is a means to experience the encounter with God.


M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The starving sparrows!

It is not so common to see caterpillars spinning to form cocoons, in the thickly overgrown areas of the CMC campus. I noticed a reduction in the number of butter flies in the gardens. I suspected it to be because of a reason.

I watched this sparrow perched in a tall tree and suddenly landing on a bush and returning to the tree with a caterpillar in the mouth.(I apologise for the lack of clarity of the caterpillar between the beaks of the sparrow). Then I knew, that the sparrows are short of their corns and millets and have made caterpillars their target!

This is the survival threat!

I spoke to the gardener about this observation. He gave me a probable reason for the change in the feeding habit of the sparrows.

The Bagayam area, where CMC campus is located, used to be relatively less habited until recently with large stretches of land under paddy, corn and millet cultivation. These areas have now become dwelling places with hundreds of houses.

The sparrows usually hover around human habitations and feed from the fields. But the vast stretches of housing complexes, is a concrete jungles without trees and vegetations. So they now confine themselves to the wooded areas in the college campus and feed on the caterpillars, which is not their normal feeding habit.

This made me pause about the terrible consequences of all that we do for ourselves, for our well being. In our attempt to live well, we silently and often unconsciously add stress to the animal kingdom.

The frequent incidents of elephants, tigers, bears, etc trespassing into human habitations or food and water indicate that, humans overuse the forests and disturb its ecological terrain.

Ours is a delicately balanced eco system! Humans are stewards of it! It is important to bring a consciousness about nature as a resource, to the younger generation so that they have a more reverential approach than my generation has had!

I know families who teach children kitchen gardening, caring for pets, having domestic pets, water conservation, etc.

We are custodians of nature accountable to our future generation for what we bequeath to them!


M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Austerity in water use!

As I watched these crows quenching their thirst from a dripping tap, I realised that the usual sources of water would have dried up.  For over two weeks we have not had any rains although, we are in the monsoon season for this region. If it continues to be so, this will be third year in succession, Vellore would had less than fifty percent of the rainfall.

I have noticed bird bath outside some houses, which is a thoughtful act considering that the CMC campus has hundreds of birds.

Vellore is surrounded by hills on three sides, which some say is one reason why Vellore has been chronically rain starved. The hills were bare earlier with very little vegetation, with most of it drying up in summer. But there was an earnest effort to plant trees and most of the hills surrounding Vellore have trees at a few feet high, which promises a better future to reduce the heat, the rocky mountain emit during summer.  The day temperature is around 42 degrees celsius on an average.

I remember seeing an overhead tank overflowing in another educational campus recently. In a few minutes scores of birds gathered around the pool of water. The watch man told me that these birds were regular visitors as the pump operator allows the overhead tank to overflow for a few minutes for the sake of the the plants in the small garden and birds.

Most houses in this campus, use the water draining form the wash basins to water the garden. The recycled water is the man source for watering acres of lawns and the potted plants. The water harvesting system has been only partially successful. Most of the water used in the hospital and college is brought in tankers from close by areas. So water is a precious commodity in this campus. I wish there was more efforts to conserve water and educate the users to practice austerity while using water.

I noticed that, if we close the tap while applying soap on the hands , we can save two to three litres of water! If we close the shower while applying soap during bath we can save put seven litres of water! If we can wash the dishes with half open tap we will save water considerably. If we wash the car with mugs of water instead of washing with running water from a pipe, we save litres of water.

How much more we need to pay attention to maintain balance in the ecological system i! We have had flood  in several parts of northern India last month and near drought conditions in some other parts.

We had severe cyclone devastating land and homes recently in Philippines, Japan, China, India, etc. The nature seems to be in a fury.

Humans, given the charge to ‘subdue’ the earth have overdone it unmindful of the ecological balance and the created order! We could be better stewards!


M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A habit that harms !

The palmyra trees and coconut trees are in great demand since some governments have legalised producing toddy from the flowers of the trees. These pots collect the juice in pots, which when fermented become toddy with alcohol content similar to beer or little more. The toddy is an intoxicating drink of the poor people.

A recent statistics suggest that about 60 percent of adult men in Kerala would drink alcohol regularly, which is at least once a week. This number has increased to this level in the last the years. The number of men attending hospitals with alcoholic cirrhosis has doubled during the same period according to a Gastroenterologist.

The government gains from the sales tax collection through the sale of alcohol products. With the alcohol consumption increasing the governments gain more taxes. They gain at the cost of others.

I hear and read the jargon in government circles, that we intend alcohol to be consumed by people above 18 years of age that too in moderation. The reality is far from it. People soon become indulgent once they get into the habit of drinking, as it has an addictive property for which incremental amount of alcohol needs to be consumed.

I wonder whether we can among our own circle of friends, initiate dialogue about alcohol consumption and find ways to help people from getting into addiction and getting out of addiction!

This addiction drains people monetarily and lands them in debt; it reduces their work efficiency; it precipitates struggles at home; it affects the moral behaviour of children at home; and it is a health hazard linked to many  diseases.

The book of Proverbs(.23:29-35) in the Old Testament of the Bible, has this to say about alcohol: ‘...Do not gaze at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it goes down smoothly! In th send it bites like a snake and poisons like a viper….'

Those of us who are teetotallers ought to be more involved in supporting people going through stress, pain, struggles, loneliness, etc. as most people try alcohol as an emotional pacifier, but do not find relief  from the reasons that push them into this habit.

Friendships and caring  counselling treat the cause and equip people to cope better. It brings healing and well being. This is an initiative that should come from volunteers!


M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Behaviour education

This picture from my archives, taken two years back at the Pondichery beach came to my mind when a family came to visit me with their two children. One of them was fond of dog and the other was almost fearful.

I remember watching this child about  three years of age, being taken to the beach. For almost half an hour this child would go up to the edge of the water and return. His mother patently led him to the water when he was ready. She stood with him. While the mother and the child got wet in water the father stayed away from the water. I was curious to find our from the father his reason for not wetting his feet in the water. He said, that ‘I am more fearful than my son’. When I said,’ Your son seems to have overcome the fear. You too can!’, he ignored me.

We convey our attitudes, fears, likes and dislikes  behaviourally to our children.

Let me suggest that our children need behaviour education.

Often in the early childhood, behaviours are imitated. We cannot expect our children to do anything differently from what we d as adults! One mother has an ongoing struggle with his three years old son to serve just enough and eat all that he has served. But he would leave some food. In a conversation, when the mother was trying to lead him to a good practice, he told her,'Why are you not helping daddy to eat all the food from his plate’!

All the early childhood habits have an origin in the family. The way we offer behaviour education to pre-school children is to practice them ourselves before we instruct them!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Loss for a gain!

This is a cross facing the sitar case of a three storied building in an educational institution. As it stands out in a lawn, among palms and flowering bushes, I was keen to know its story.

Before the building construction the land was dedicated with prayer just before the 'ground breaking’. There were many trees to be cut to lay the foundation for the building. The trees yielded to be cut, to let the building come up for generations of students to study and advance in their lives of knowledge and service. An engineer, seems to have remarked that, ‘let us a cross here to remind others there was some ’suffering' to let the building come up.’

It is interesting how different people attribute symbolism to a cross in different ways.

I too have become more conscious of the  effects of felling trees. The oxygenation of the environment gets compromised when photosynthesis is interfered with; birds lose their nesting place and food, winds become wild without the mellowing effect by tall trees, the soil becomes vulnerable to erosion; humans loose shade; the place become bare to look at…

All these and some otter losses on account of the buildings we want to construct!

So it was refreshing to hear the story associated with the symbolism associated with this cross- the losses suffered while giving space for the making of a temple of learning!

Humans need a balanced view of all situations. I felt that this cross brought that balance into focus-the  loss for a gain! We tend to be skewed in our perception. There is reality larger and beyond our perception and opinion. This helps us to tread reverently in our pursuit to achieve because some would have to suffer or loose for our sake.

A five year child kept the chocolate he received in his pocket to share with his younger sister. The loss of his personal pleasure was for finding a greater pleasure by sharing.  

That was the message of the cross of Jesus as well- loss for a gain, which got authenticated with the resurrection of Jesus on the third day!


M.C. Mathew(text and photo)

The less travelled path !

I watched this group of medical students at PIMS preparing for their college day in 2012. This was the photo taken on the previous day of their practice. They had 15 practices on three days, before they staged the dance on the day of the entertainment. On the day of their performance, they moved synchronising with music, co-ordianted movements swiftly and presented the dance rhythm in unison that the audience was spell bound. The long applause  was its proof. 

However, when I watched them on the previous day, they had a long way to go and I wondered how they would make it, more so it was a fusion dance with Bolywood, Indian classical and Bharatnatyam elements. I remember talking to one of them who had formal training in dance and choreography about the efforts needed to teach others to the synchrony. She said: ‘We enjoy dancing and that is what matters.  We get together and like being together. We hope the audience would enjoy what we put up’. It was an affirmative response overlooking the travail and efforts behind her determination to get it all correct. I was impressed with her motivation. 

Many do not even attempt to learn new skills for fear of not being able to ‘perfect’ them. To do anything well is most fulfilling. That needs natural and acquired skills. But anyone can make an effort to do something for the sake of enjoying the process and participation. During my school years, participation was emphasised as the purpose of all forms of activities of sports, drama, music, debates, public speaking, etc. Now, I feel the emphasis has shifted to ‘achievement’, so much so, only the price winners seem to have enjoyed the process and the outcome. 

If we are achievement driven, we limit our potential and prospects. A good friend whom Anna and I know for about 25 years started learning a new musical instrument when she was in her mid sixty, for the ‘pleasure' of it. She continues going for the practice and this group of senior citizens perform for a limited audience couple of times a year. They practice for pleasure and not for performance. So they are free of stress, desire to excel or wanting applause. 

There is always an another way to what is common. Often that is a less traveled way leading to greater solace, comfort and hope!  

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Batch of 2009-CMC Vellore

The medical students of the batch of 2009 conducted their thanksgiving service this morning in the college chapel, to begin the series of events that would take place for the next two days. The sung service was inspiring and refreshing. They even sang a song in Hindi, which was unusual. The music, singing, message and the prayer blended well to give a solemn and worshipful ambience in the chapel.

The day then is packed with several events such as tree planting by the final year batch, when the junior batch would sing for them made up funny songs to recall each person's student life in the college. Later there is a meeting of the student body to say farewell to the final years and the prize giving ceremony when the academic and extracurricular awards are distributed by the Principal’s office. The day would end with a play the students put for the community.

The sunday event is the Baccalaureate service in the college auditorium, when the interns, who would finish their training time in a few months would lead in a solemn sung service. The event on the Monday is the formal graduation function when the final year students would escort the graduating students carrying a jasmine chain on both sides of the procession, to the college auditorium where all the post-gradautes and undergraduates would receive their degree certificates. This is followed by the banquet.

All these are memorable occasions, when teachers, parents and the student community share the joy of community living.

It was after five years, I was attending another such occasion. It brings back memories of Arpit and Anandit going through these stages of their formation at CMC, Vellore.

What inspired me most was, how each generation of students and the faculty are ‘passing on the Torch’, of the mission, ‘not to be ministered unto but to minister’, lit by Dr. Ida Sophia Scudder in 1900!


M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Each one for the other!

I watched this squirrel perched on this custard apple tree, beside a ripe fruit. I waited for a while to take a photo of it eating the fruit. Before that a crow chased the squirrel away.

I have noticed this territorial competition between birds during my walks. There are many trees with fruits of all sorts for all birds in the campus and yet, parakeets would chase away the sparrows; the warblers the honey suckers; the crows the squirrel; the squirrel the Magpie Robin….

The instinct seems to be a desire to have an exclusive control over its own territory.

Children between one and two years may show this tendency. A new born is born with closed palms and that is the normal position of the fingers of the palm till about six to nine months, before infants open the palms to reach out to manually explore the environment.

This possessive instinct continues through life and all of us are driven by a desire to control our our environment and exert our rights. This is a relational hazard because, it keeps others away from us. Life is all about receiving and giving.

Jesus of Nazareth said: ‘..freely you have received, freely give’. To offer our time, availability, willingness to listen to someone is the least we can offer to others. Most people need listening companions as people get displaced and hurt when a dominant person takes away the rightful place, position and the role of another person. A 'musical chair’ culture prevails in some of our institutions or organisations.'How can I reach the top’! This is so intense that we have a divided leadership in many institutions.

Every organisation needs to have a dispute resolution approach and mechanism in place. People need healing; relationships need reconciliation; and the ambience of the institution needs to be conducive for its optimal impact.

I feel that disharmony is a snare in many institutions. What provides stability in any institution is an open atmosphere of communication. If we communicate and care to trust each other, we would be less manipulative!    

Let me suggest that  we keep harmony and collegiality as our longing in the places of our work!


M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The Media- needs a different script !

Sachin Tendullkar, a cricketer of outstanding skills would retire from playing international games shortly. He is currently playing his 199th test match of his career of three decades at Eden gardens in Kolkota. 

This news item in a national news paper in the centre page of its supplement drew my attention.

Sachin is ‘God’, according to its caption.

It is his penultimate test cricket match before he retires with the 200th test match in Mumbai next week. I am also admirer of Sachin for his outstanding cricketing skills. I remember shaking his hands in Bombay airport a few years back. His smile was charming!

However neither Sachin or his family would be comfortable with the glorification of him in this fashion! This reference is an affront to God, whom we refer to as an eternal Being!

The news papers and the visual media have been on  a mood to take full advantage of the forty percent of the middle class in India, who are vulnerable to sensationalised news. The space the media offers to talk about the beauty products, cinema, hospitality industry, fashion show, the glamour industry of travel and tourism, etc. make me feel that it is more for its own popularity and market success. There is disproportionate space offered to these items because, it is what would make the media succeed.

One national news paper had an article on its central page of the supplement today, on alcohol products of a company with photos and interview with one of its promoters. In fact advertisement on alcohol is banned. So the media finds an ingenious way to speak about alcohol products. The ethics in publishing is a self-regualted norm in india. This has become relative now.

The media’s role is to inform, educate, interpret and communicate! It weaves the fabric of a society by its healthy and formative opinions. It functions as the thermostat of a society by downplaying what is undesirable and promoting what is good for every one.

This is still done in a healthy way through the editorials of news papers and the magazines! I like to read the editorials of the newspapers because they lift the debate to issues and open up the subjects for the readers to comprehend and consider. There is soberness and openness in its presentation.

The media has a formative role in weaving the social fabric of a society with strands of values, good practices and noble traditions. It is critical in developing attitudes and norms that would enhance moral values necessary to be a civilised society.

However, it looks like that women get portrayed in the visual and print media to invite attention to their bodies. The cinema has received attention more than it deserve. The culture of entertainment controls and guides the media rather than to play its role in creating a healthy environment for people to grow up, work, relate and live as happy families

I agonise over the way the media in India is self seeking for its own survival and success in a competitive media culture. When I was growing up we had seven national English newspapers and we have at least fifty of them now! For the media houses, it is a question of staying in the market. So they resort to publishing paid new items, become a mouth piece of a particular ideology and promote a mood of simmering restlessness among people by sensationalising news which need least attention.

If a society drifts into disorder or arrogance, its media too has contributed to it!

Where are those who would feel the pain of this decline in the formative role of the media and speak, write and educate to make a change!

The media is to focus on Life, Living and Learning!


M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Play Time -Learning Time!

I watched these two dogs during their ‘wrestling play’. They were on top of each other, but in a non-hurting way and most tolerant of each other. They chased each other, jumped on each other, never to provoke but to prolong the play time. Their play was interrupted only for short spells even when people were passing by. During the fifteen minutes I spent watching this, I saw some play patterns common with what the three years old children would do during the rough and tumble play.

Play is a learning time. The puppy in the black, probably an Alsatian, is the initiator of the play. The white Pomeranian seemed to enjoy this immensely. They are neighbours to each other living in two adjacent compounds. Sometimes, the puppy was too demanding of the Pomeranian.

They belong to two different age groups; they are from two different breeds; they belong two different families; they probably have two different temperaments. And yet, they are fond of each other!

I returned from my visit to this place with this searching question in mind! There were many things that were different between them, but the instinct for play was shared by both the dogs.

I wish we as humans would find more common ground between people to relate and communicate. It is the time of elections in India, both the state assemblies and the Parliament. As I hear the political leaders address the mass rallies to persuade the electors, I sense that the language used conveys hatred, animosity and arrogance more than discussing issues at stake!  

Humans are brothers and sisters to each other. There are more common things that bind us together in the human family than those that separate us! 

I wish, we have more reconciliators in our midst- those who feel the pain of separation and divisions and long for cordiality, respect and tolerance!

We are already in the season of the advent! The message of Christmas is peace, love and good will among humankind!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Three pilgrims

 I noticed these three men while on my evening walk.

One sitting on the wayside regularly sits there waiting for alms from passers by. Most walkers ignore him and he sits there most of the day. He lives with the arms he receives and sleeps in public places. A shop keeper who knows him mentioned that he has no family. He did not respond to my efforts to start a conversion with him. He is a pilgrim, alone, abandoned and living at the edge of life.

The other two men were on their journey to a temple for a spiritual experience. They walk barefooted; carry the bare minimum for the journey; and looking at them, it seems they keep some vows to be ascetic. These men make this journey on foot as a penance for their 'sins’ and to seek favour from ‘god’ through their penitence. Thee are hundreds who take this form of journey once or twice a week to some temple or the other.

Both sets of men have something in common. The first man is searching for his daily living and the other two are searching for a spiritual experience.

On my way back, it dawned on to me that this is an actual representation of the aspirations of people all around us. According to some statistics, about twenty percent of people live at subsistence level or below and about sixty percent of people are searching for meaning in life.

If it is true, then it is also the story of the neighbourhood that we live in.

I met the milk vendor who used to supply milk for us for 15 years during our stay at Vellore, who told me that since his son got a job at CMC Vellore, their lot has improved. Otherwise he had a debt to pay at the end of every month.

When we used to worship at St. Andrews Church, Egmore, Chennai, Rev. Peter Miller used to remind us in his sermons, to seek out for one person during the week who is in need-material or spiritual.

That too is also a pilgrimage. It is this pilgrimage Jesus of Nazareth talked about- the shepherd leaving the ninety nine sheep and going out to search for the one that was lost!

We are pilgrim people living among those who are on a pilgrimage!


M.C.Mathew(text and photo)  

Developmental Paediatrics at MOSC College

These visiting nursing students helped in plotting the places from where children visited the Developmental Paediatrics department at MOSC Medical College, Kolenchery, Kerala, in the one year since we started the service in September, 2012. We were encouraged to find that although we have had children visiting us form different parts of Kerala, Tamil Nadu, Karnataka, etc. for consultation, most of the children visiting for developmental assessment and support are from within a distance of fifty kilometres. 

Those coming from these short distances kept encouraging us to start an early learning support for them and for five months now,we have a regular play group for pre-school children. Parents of these children further encouraged us to move on to starting an Early Learning Centre (ELC) to augment their developmental prospects. 

A residential house in the college campus is getting modified now to start the ELC, hopefully in the new year. The parents of children visiting us have been the movers for this initiative.

Although I have been out of circulation due to my illness for the last two months, my six colleagues have even more enthusiastically continued their good work. I am glad that the work has progressed with its own momentum.

This is the fifth initiative of ASHIRVAD to partner with another institution in its 30the year, to create facility for children with special needs. Anna and I are amazed how a faltering step we took in 1983 has become what it has become! Thanks to Friends of ASHIRVAD who carried us upon their hearts.

We had a celebration to remember the one year of our service with a T-shirt design competition for medical and nursing students, drawing competition for children in five local schools, and a staff-student indoor badminton competition. The college auditorium was full with students, faculty and parents, when we had the concluding meeting, where the campus children sang and danced and the medical students presented a skit to create an awareness about the needs of people with different abilities. 

All beginnings have a journey course and a terminus. We feel that it is now the right time for ASHIRVAD to make a departure and explore and initiate a vision for LIFE FORMATION in the light of brokenness and pain we have witnessed in the lives of families and professionals!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Daffney's One year

Anna and I have often talked about Daffney during our time at Vellore remembering  her one year with us.

She has now got used to her yard and kennel in the last four months since we moved her out from being indoor all the time. The enclosed yard is large and enough and the open kennel faces our veranda.  She has constant visual contact with us while seated in her chair.

She has now her rhythm of morning and evening walks and running time in the compound twice a day. On a few occasions, she escaped in between the barbed wire of the compound, to accompany our domestic helper or someone who she is familiar with. Once she even decided to go into the paddy field to greet the neighbour’s cow. Fortunately, she would yield to our call to return , although with some resistance initially.

We have been inconsistent with our training protocol and yet, we feel comfortable with her response to ‘obedience’ practices. Among all the games she would love to tease us with is, to go hunting for coconut husk from the farm house and run around the house with it and settle down in the lawn to pull out the fibres little by little from the shell of the husk. She would not want to be disturbed during this. The other prank she takes delight in, is to go near the bird house and frighten the birds and sit there watching the birds flying wildly with loud chirp in the bird house. It is difficult to drag her away from there, except by force.

Daffney, being a beagle has all the behaviour patterns of its breed. We watch her run and fly over small parapets and bricks that separate the lawns. She runs up and down the stream that flows through the garden, when the plants are watered. There is no stopping of her till the water flow stops.

She reaches out to anything she can get hold of her and chew once indoor. So we have made the drawing room dog proof.

In the first week of November she completed one year! We hope she would settle down to an orderly rhythm! It was fun having her and receive her lavish affection!


M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Flowers for the family

I have entered into the seventh week after my surgery and I feel well and refreshed. God the giver of all good gifts has been merciful!

What I have received from my family during this period is bountiful blessings of love and care!

Anna has been with me through out this period, with her gentle presence, affirming love and ever readiness to care. I was dependent on her for all my daily needs and she reached out to me  graciously and thoughtfully. The demands on her were many. The stress related to the surgery, keeping in touch with callers and visitors, making decisions, caring for me physically….I witnessed her composure, willingness and hospitality at all times. Her prayerful presence and confident approach in decision making refreshed me. She nursed me to my current state of recovery.

Amy and Arpit arrived couple days before surgery from Ludhiana. I felt touched by their kindness and presence. They took pains to make several arrangements needed before surgery. Anna felt cared for and supported by their affirming presence. Amy was the first visitor to the ICU, after I was weaned off the ventilator on the third day. Her smiling presence lifted my spirit. Arpit attended my transitional needs. He was alert with help when ever I got up at night. Amy and Arpit cheered me up immensely. It was refreshing to receive their calls, after they returned to Ludhiana. They had the appropriate words of encouragement each time they called. We feel good for them as they would soon move from their single room, which was their home for two years, into a flat in the CMC Ludhiana campus  

Aswathy and Anandit made all the arrangements for my admission at the CMC Hospital for the investigations when I felt the chest discomfort. They co-ordinated with the consultants to make plans for what was needed. After the angiogram, when surgery was planned, Anandit took the initiative to organise the practical details. Aswathy kept cheering me up and overseeing the practical needs. She would remember to ask whether I had my medicines! I was touched by their kindness and reassurance. They brought their close friends to give me some insights about the surgery and what to anticipate during the post-surgical period. Both of them watched over us during the last eight weeks of our stay at Vellore, with care and attention. They both spent most of their non-working hours with us every day. 

Anna and I are getting ready to leave Vellore shortly. 

I have experienced the self-giving love and affection of the family and I have been nourished.

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)