Our daughter Anita had moved on at three months after a brief illness. She had a stormy neonatal period from which she was recovering. At her funeral service, the Chaplain of the hospital, Rev A.C.Oommen in his condolence message mentioned, that ' This might have a purpose in the life of Anna and M.C.Mathew'. That was a baffling and open ended statement, which initiated us into a journey to discern the message beyond our loss and grief.
When I rejoined work after one month, a child whom I had to welcome was a chid of four years, who came from Meghalaya. His parents were seeking help, having been told that he had clinical features of Down syndrome. After receiving help for his medical needs and rehabilitation service at the psychiatry department, when they were about to go back, they mentioned that there was no special school in Shillong where they lived. The father was tearful thinking about the bleak future of his son. His question, 'Are you not able to do something more for my son"? left me disturbed and pondering upon!
Two week later, while in the High risk new born follow up clinic, I met a mother whose preterm baby, whom we had looked after in the nursery for high level of Bilirubin, with three exchange transfusions. He at three months had developed spasticity, decreased weight and Head circumference and showed signs of cerebral hypertonia with altered developmental sequence. His mother tearfully told me, 'if after all that was done at birth, he is still left with developmental set back, what did we gain'?
I attempted to process the above two instances of meeting with parents in the light and the words of the statement of Rev A.C.Oommen. When someone is in grief, it is with a heavy heart, cloudy eyes and wavering spirit he or she views or ponders on matters.
When I strolled in the garden this morning, I noticed a plant with a fallen flower held in the embrace of its leaves. That flower symbolised how Anna and I felt at that time in our life. We came to CMC Vellore with hopes and aspirations after my post graduate training at Nagpur. We had longed for a path paved with encouragements and prospects. But we felt our energy and enthusiasm declining following the loss of our daughter! However there were regular signs of God's embracing presence in our lives.
The other was a chance meeting with Prof Jacob John, who was a professor in Microbiology at CMC Vellore, who pioneered to revise Polio vaccination in children to eradicate paralysis associated with Poliomyelitis.
When Anna and I met him at CMC Vellore, during which occasion the photos below were taken, this memory of a timely and thoughtful comment he made returned to me, during that meeting with him in 1982.
Professor John having heard the turbulence which we were going through wanted to hear about the way we faced the dark period in our life.
I shared with him the message spoken by Rev. A.C. Oommen and the two children I met during my clinical work since then, which made me wonder whether I was to consider developing a service for pre-school children with developmental needs. Such a service did not exist at CMC Vellore at that time.
The conversation with the head of the department of child health, Principal and Director of CMC Vellore did not bring a favourable response.
The conversation with Prof John brought clarity and cohesiveness. Hearing the 'Three synergic events', he narrated how three experiences helped him to move to clinical virology although he was keen to be associated with child health department. When that door did not open, he walked into the open door of opportunity which led him to be a leader in vaccine preventable diseases in children in India.
He then went on to share the 'Three knocks' that Dr Ida Scudder experienced in one night, when men came to her father, who was a doctor, to assist their wives who were in child birth, They were searching for a female doctor. Although her father offered to help, they did not receive the offer as the cultural taboos was strong at that time in men doctors attending on women during their child birth. Dr Scudder noticed three funeral processions passing through the road in front of her house on the next day. Three women died in child birth. Dr Ida Scudder who so far refused to train to be a doctor, and was doing a course in arts in the university and had a boy friend, discontinued and joined the Cornell University, the first lady student to study medicine in that University. That is how Dr Scudder came to to start a clinic in Vellore in 1900, which later became a the reputed Christian Medical College.
Professor John quoted from the Bible during the conversation about three converging events that led Jesus of Nazareth to feed five thousand people- Jesus had compassion on people; Andrew and Philip the disciples of Jesus searched for food and a boy gave five loaves and two fish to be taken to Jesus to bless, and multiply to feed the people.
It was this conversation with Prof John, which finally helped Anna and me to find a direction at that time, while staying perplexed for a few months. I liked the way Prof John referred to the 'synchrony of converging events' as a means to bring a message of significance.
It was after meeting Prof John last week, the details of this conversation which occurred fifty years ago returned to me with the above details. There was no time to share these thoughts with him for shortage time. I do look forward to having an unhurried time with him!
While these thoughts were getting organised in my mind this morning, I saw a pair of Bulbuls perched in our courtyard having an intimate conversation, probably to decide on the flight path. For about ten minutes, they looked all around and left for a far away place flying together!
M.C.Mathew( text and photo)
