All in a short time!

I watched these two Bulbuls perched in a palm tree in our garden during a short pause in between the down pouring of the monsoon rain.  From their body language it seemed to be a pair in courtship.  

A third Bulbul arrived at the scene to engage one of them. Soon the one befriended by another Bulbul flew away leaving one of the bulbuls alone. The bereft look of the bird left behind engaged my attention. 

I remember hearing from bird watchers that male birds have transient attachments. 

What ever it might be, it was a scene of loss that one Bird had to deal with. 

A loss is a mixture of experiences. Most of us carry fear about the prospect of loosing the race in life to an illness or accidents. Some live with fear of losing their job. Some parents live withe the anxiety of losing their children in marriage. Senior citizens live with the fear of redundancy. 

The experience of loss works within us even before the actual event takes place.

I have been thinking of those who have a chronic disease for which there is no cure and permanent respite. 

Having spent forty years with families who have children with Neuro-developmental disorders, I am more familiar with a sense of loss from which some families do not recover, once they discover that their children would have limitations and challenges to cope with through life. 

I have often struggled with this experience in the hope that at least some families would readjust back to life! That has not happened in most of the occasions. 

The sense of loss is deep and despairing. 

In. conversation with a friend whose spouse has a progressive illness, I realised how the family is preparing to face the sense off loss in multiple dimensions. 

Let me reflect on what happened on my birth day recently.

A friend who gave me the rose flower below with three buds had noticed only two buds. When I discovered that there were three buds, it surprised both of us. To me it was reminder about looking for what remains hidden. There is something more than what is obvious. This is the mystery of loss in life. 

There is something more awaiting us, when we are drowned in the experience of loss. 

The events in life can take us by surprise sometimes. We need to ponder and discover what is more than the obvious. While loss is painful, it too has a pathfinding purpose in life. The losses are pointers to greater realities in life!

Anna and I still lament the loss of our daughter Anita which happened thirty nine years ago. There is a void on account of that in our lives even now. It is also true that life took us to new paths since then that we would have not found otherwise. I am surprised by this. I was professionally moving to specialise in cardiology, but got directed towards Developmental Neurology, which is what made Anna and me to think of forming ASHIRVAD which became a voice of Christian concern  for Child care.

Living with a loss is not about grief alone, but about movement in to new planes of living and serving!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)