Listening behaviour!

I am fond of watching others in conversation to learn  their speaking and listening behaviour!

Watching these children from a distance for about ten minutes in a conversation gave me some insights that adults can learn from!

The attentive posture of their body and facial expressions were most encouraging to the speaking child because of the attentive feed back. There was no interruption while he was speaking for a minute or so. Each person took turns to speak and waited eagerly to listen as revealed by their body posture! The receptive gesture of a gentle smile on their faces communicates a lot about the interest with which they listened to each other. They were present to each other and involved in the thoughts spoken. They did not seem wander away thinking what they ought to speak in response!

I liked the communicative ambience of this meeting! It seems that they were talking to each other when they were ready for a conversation!

To discern whether someone is ready to listen is an important skill to develop, lest we load others with our thoughts when they are least ready to listen or participate in a conversation!

To listen is to honour the other person and to respect his or her thoughts. We encounter more arguments, debates or accusations instead of conversation in our social gatherings!

To be in an edifying conversation would mean that we become learners by listening!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A song in actions!

One of the special things for children is their group activities with friends.

I found this action song sung by the children of different age groups interesting and captivating. From the oldest to the youngest, the body posture and expressions on their faces gave me a sense of their involvement in the content and meaning of the song. 

Often songs are sung to keep the tune, rhythm and the music that is played which sometimes can lead people away form entering to the heart of the meaning of the song! Music and choral singing are art forms which need appreciation at the cerebral level for musical excellence!

However songs are also a means of ministering to our inner being to comfort, encourage, clarify and edify! Music and songs have an inspirational dimension. 

Sometimes I wonder whether even during worship times singing has become a public performance or a pleasant entertainment losing its personal appeal to our inner being.   

Singing meditatively ministers to the singer and the listeners!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Children's prayer meeting!

I was moved to watch this scene when three children after a season of conversation ended their conversation with a moment of prayer!

It looked as though it was spontaneous. With no clue to the conversation taking place between them, I presume that the conversation in itself was edifying that they decided to end it by expressing their gratitude to God who was present in their midst. 

Children surprise us by their originality and spontaneity!

For children prayer could mean different from what it means to the adults. The posture of the children while in prayer reveals that they were in a reverential attitude and humble in spirit. 

Of all the things that prayer would lead us into is this inner soberness. We are used to speaking about ourselves and our achievements as part of our responsibility or need to present our identity. So we become cerebral and confident to the extent that we attribute our achievements to our own abilities.  

But it is in prayer, we get tuned to the spirit that St. Paul referred to, 'what is that which we have not received.. and if so why boast ..' 

To begin or end or intersperse conversations with prayer is one means of bringing soberness to our attitudes to ourselves and to God!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Tell us how we can learn!

At the firs anniversary function of the Developmental Paediatrics and Child Neurology Unit at MOSC medical college, this school boy who needs mobility aids and periodic medical attention paused a question, 'where can we go when we are just a few years old, to find out how we can learn to overcome our limitations'!

That question was an eye opener about the need to develop a Family Support Centre for families come to and become familiar with how children learn when they have physical or cognitive challenges!

A large room with visual displays and toys appropriate for early learning is now getting ready in our unit. This is created keeping in mind the needs of the parents who visit the department. The displays would be a dialogue starter with parents. 

In an enquiry with doctors from the community health department we found out that many children who need special assistance do not have appropriately suitable home environment.

Our idea is to help parents to plan to modify their home environment. We offer to look at the photos or videos they would bring to help them in planning to make their environment more suitable to their children and their learning at home!

So the Family Support Centre is now getting ready!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

The ornate interior!

Of late I have been visiting some church buildings to get a glimpse of their interior. 

Among the traditional denominations, the orthodox and the catholic churches give considerable attention to the exterior an the interior of the church buildings where the faithful come to worship. Most of the interior portray a new testament theme or a Biblical event. 

However all these interior and exterior creations incur heavy expenditure. One arch Bishop of the catholic church recently came out publicly to make all the decorations modest and worshipful and not for vain display of extravagance and status! His appeal was rather strong. He called the church to live socially conscious!

I was wondering whether there would be concerted and joint efforts by the church to respond to the drought conditions in several states in India! It is  a natural disaster with millions in distress!

Is the church contemporary in its mission is a theme in many  mission meetings! The Church is  movement that prepares people to be drawn by God to be 'sent' out by God in a shepherding role seeking after those whose are 'heavy and burdened'!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo) 

The missing Mangoes!

The worst hit fruit by the change of climate this year is mangoes!

Usually in any fruit shop, one would come across a few varieties of mangoes from the middle of April. In the adjacent town to our home, I visited ten fruit shops to look for different varieties of mangoes. Only five shops had mangoes and they had just one local variety!

I went to the fruit market and to my dismay I found that instead of ten truck loads of mangoes that arrive from the middle of April, the market has only one or two trucks arriving this year! 

While travelling from Coimbatore to Krishangiri by road last week, I found that many mango  orchards are bereft of their normal rich harvest!

There has been a strong lobbying by some environmentalist to avoid using chemical fertilisers, pesticides and regular copious watering. But the farmers have not been able to develop organic farming or use organic pest control methods or develop drip irrigation methods. The farmers were cash starved to make any investment on their gardens! So the orchards have suffered neglect on account of lobbying. The farmers who look for their annual income from their produce  has very little to look forward to! A farmer who has a way side temporary shop near Erode for the passers by, used to sell mangoes worth of about ten thousand rupees in a day in the previous seasons, but he does not have mangoes to reach even the quarter of that in a day during this season!  

This is a typical adverse story about the ill effects of lobbying! The public pressure gets mounted to a high pitch by the activities of the lobbyists against an issue. But the disadvantages of forcing an action are too many and not even well thought about!  

When we canvass for a cause, it is necessary that the benefits are more than the disadvantages. I have a suspicion that some causes for which the lobbyists raise campaigns are least wholistic in perspective and outcome!

MCMathew (text and photo) 

Pink Lily flowers in summer!

It is the first time since three years while living in our cottage, I noticed the pink lilies weathering the summer heat and continue the blossoming!

The climate change with temperature touching 42 degree celsius is uncommon for us in our village, perhaps it is an intense summer in 39 years if the paper reports are dependable!

So the Lilies also have adapted. Daffney goes under her kennel and spends most of her daytime lying on the cool floor. A few weeks back she discarded her mattress from her cane bed. For Dulce it is the first summer. Her place of rest and play during the day is the bath room. She takes her toys and belongings to the bath room and spends her day in a cool ambience. 

But the Lilies although is under some shade during the part of the day, are exposed to the intense heat of the day. Its colour and freshness remain intact inspite of this.

It is a good lesson to ponder over- the adverse circumstances bring the best out of us! It is no virtue to create an adverse circumstance, but it is graceful to receive it when it occurs because something better or promising is concealed in it! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)     

The morning has broken!

This picture from my photo library, taken in our garden three years back immediately after an evening rain has remained special for me!

During the rain, the accompanying strong wind uprooted teak trees in the property, but this fragile flower remained intact! The butterflies do not come to damaged flowers. They smell the scent of nectar and come to the flowers. So this flower escaped the wrath of the storm with nectar in store!

This bush with flowers were between two other shrubs, whose branches broke away in the wind. But they protected this plant and its flowers. 

I wish we make a list of protective experiences we have had each day. Yesterday I stumbled twice, once while climbing the steps and the second while on the morning walk. Both times, I was able to balance myself from falling.

It is good to recall and rejoice how we feel protected inspite of our fragility! Most of what comes as protection are surprise experiences! 'He who watches over us neither slumbers or sleeps' 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)