Anna and I notice this senior citizen almost every day, on our way to work, standing outside his gate looking intently at the movements of the traffic and people on the road. Sometimes people stop to say something to him, but his posture or composure remain the same. We know nothing more than this about him.
We often see senior citizens standing outside their home on the road habitually. While talking to a colleague, I realised that many of them feel lonely and do this to stay connected with people to dispel the inner darkness of enforced solitude.
A Psychiatrist friend, who specialised in geriatric psychiatry whom Anna and I met recently during his short visit to India, mentioned to us that 'loneliness is more distressing than Alzheimer's disease in many instances'. He thought that loneliness may even precipitate a nascent memory and emotional decline.
A seven year old boy helped me yesterday to understand one more aspect of loneliness. He mentioned to me during a consultation that 'mummy and daddy are always occupied with their work. So I have to play alone'. For this boy, playing alone creates loneliness. His pleasure of play is not complete when he plays alone.
This is the resident human instinct in each of us- we are complete only when we can stay connected with others. We can be lonely when we are left alone.
Bishop Desmund Tutu, now in in his early eighties, was in Cochin two days back, while on a worldwide ocean cruise with about two hundred people, mostly senior citizens. He mentioned to a press reporter, 'I do this cruise to bring peace within and among us because we are all lonely people'.
We create our own loneliness when we create boundaries around ourselves. Our openness invites others into our lives.
In that sense, this senior citizen is inviting people in to his life, by standing outside his home every morning.
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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