The ageing phase!

I spotted this dragon fly in our garden in between a dry spell on a rainy day. Its wings showed signs of ageing. The wings had lost the pattern and design. 

I was in the midst of coming to terms with tinnitus in my one ear this week. Often tinnitus is a warning of progressive loss of hearing, although it might be months or years later. 

Yes, I too am ageing. I took time to reflect on my inner responses to this reality. A friend who dropped in to greet me yesterday said that some of what I write in this blog series make a lot of sense because I refer to thoughts that we have, but do not care to ponder over them.  

Another friend who visits the blog periodically wondered whether I have a PDF copy of the blog of the last ten years to refer to it leisurely. 

Both these made me return to this issue of what is left with us as we age while we encounter some losses.

A friend lost her father yesterday, for whom she had made considerable provision to be taken care of when he was ailing. 

It is good to ponder over the experience of saying farewell to many abilities and skills before the time for the final farewell. 

More important is to keep alive the zest to live, as life in which ever state it might be, is a gift given to us to live givingly. 

Giving is therefore the calling in life. 

When we give, it might appear to be a loss. But giving is investing to make others around us to live better. 

Living is for giving!

The challenge is whether we can give to those who ask, more than what they expect! If that  becomes possible, then our living is fruitful!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The Flowers !

The bride groom arrived at the church for the marriage service in a car decorated with white rose flowers. The bride arrived in a car decorated with with peach and white rose flowers.

That is yet another symbol of the diversity that they would bring into marriage to make marriage colourful and rich and the family life a joyful and expanding experience. 

I wish life for every couple begins with this consciousness that they bring in to marriage diversity of backgrounds to enlarge each other in to a fullness in relationship and togetherness. 

As I watched the couple walk together after the marriage service, I sensed the beginning of such a nearness in formation! 

Every marriage is a journey towards each other and beyond oneself!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Wayside scenes!

I happened to notice these flowers, buds and berries on the road side, outside a house when we were waiting for the drizzle to stop. I viewed this sight in some amazement. In a small patch in the corner, there was so much artistic expressions of nature!

The street bore the marks of human carelessness of scattered papers, but the nature in its effort to overcome human neglect of the environment brought these gifts to remind us of the richness nature brings to humans. 

That is when I saw a senior citizen even in the drizzle gathering the papers and leaves on the street outside her home. I noticed how some portions of the street looked better kept with the grass on both side of the road trimmed and kept tidy. 

There are therefore some in that street who keep a watch on the street outside their homes. 

Living is therefore a calling to go beyond our own territory! The gifts of nature is for everyone; I wish humans too would become generous to think that way. 

I was affirmed of that prospects when a morning walker picked up my lens cap which I dropped while taking the above pictures. He said to me, 'take care, if you loose your lens cap, your lens would get damaged'. He too had an interest in photography and owned a camera. 

A street is a place where we meet people! A street is also place where we witness nature's gifts of  the greenery around! We breathe the oxygen they give us!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

A morning Visitor!

 

A grey Imperial Pigeon happened to make a stop over during its flight movement in our garden this morning. It gave us a 360 degree view of its abundantly beautiful complexion and graceful body movement. There was something serene and eye catching about this rather uncommon sighting. Its look, bright eyes, elegant posture and body contour captured us to adore it. Some birds are exquisite in their appearance an behaviour. 

It was probably a pigeon that Noah trusted to test whether the blood had receded after he and his  family along with wild life were floating in an ark during an unprecedented flood according to the Old Testament Biblical narrative of the flood. The first pigeon sent out returned finding trees still under water. The second one after few days did not return. That was when Noah decided to embark on returning to the land. 

For this reason and several other reasons, pigeons represent larger symbolic meanings. In the New Testament narration, there is a description of a dove descending in the scene at the time when Jesus of Nazareth was baptised. The dove is a symbol of peace. On every occasion, when peace has to be articulated and announced, a pigeon would be a visible symbol. 

I remember an incident described by a friend, when a guest at a meeting was handed over a pigeon to release at the occasion of a peace rally. When he released it, it did not fly away, but dropped to the ground. He seems to have strangulated the pigeon between the time he was handed over the pigeon and released it from his hold between his palms. 

I have had many memories returning to me, while visited by this pigeon for a few minutes.   Anna and I used to take our children Trafalgar Square in London for watching hundreds of pigeon of all colours, in the open ground, fed by hundreds of visitors. We would have visited that place to watch that magnificent sight several times during our stay in London in 1986.

A pigeon is a symbol of peace!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A Pastoral Call!

I heard this presbyter make a pastoral call to the couple who were at the altar to make their marriage pledge. He invited them to get in touch which him as and when they face questions that need exploration related to life as a married couple! The way he turned leaning towards them with a caring and affirming look, spoke a lot about the love with which he was exhorting the couple to become a family committed to each other's wellness. 

It is seldom I hear such a call from a presbyter and an offer of pastoral accompaniment for a newly married couple!

A transition from being a man and woman to be a husband and wife and a father and mother later is a journey with ups and downs. Referring to this, the presbyter suggested to think of a child who is learning learning to walk. He or she would fall, but getting up to walk is the natural instinct of every child. 

When I was helping a child who was using a walker to walk yesterday, I felt his urge to walk inspite of the restriction of movements in his legs. 

This urge to make the marriage experience an enlarging encounter with each other, to know and be known, is what this presbyter suggested as the vocation in marriage. In between them, he suggested, that God was present to enable the pathway to each other  pleasant and fulfilling. 

I was moved by the love language the presbyter used to communicate this to the married couple!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Cheerful Visitors!

We were delighted to welcome postgraduate students in Child Development from St Theresa's College, Ernakulum at the department of Developmental Paediatrics, yesterday. 

When I met with them briefly, what greeted me was a group who communicated and engaged in the issues of child development with enthusiasm. My question to them was whether they would be a gift to honour children who wait for someone to enlarge their opportunities! 

There are  many children who live disadvantaged! We live in a time and season when the third 'parent' is the media. Most parents inadvertently lead their children to the 'third parent', the media,  when both parents are occupied. I have come across parents who felt comfortable for the infants and toddlers to watch cartoons and other entertainment in the TV or mobile phone for several hours each day.  I heard a story of a family keeping the TV on for the child 'to be out of their way' when parents  have something to do. 

The 'third parenting' partner of infants and toddlers is causing an enormous damage as the language, communication and social skills get displaced by a preoccupied state of being self absorbed in entertainment. This distances infants and toddlers from an interface with social, reciprocal, communicative and playful environment. 

Let me wish the students from St Theresa's college a heart for children who live reduced lives, the consequences of which would be reflected in the social and communication behaviour of pre-school children. 

Restore the childhood to children, which to me is a slogan worth pursuing!

Are we loosing the primacy for children in our homes! Are parents loosing their parental instinct and live their lives preoccupied with pursuit of their career! Is this generation of parents forced to leave their children to 'surrogate parenting'! I feel disturbed by these questions. 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

 

Waiting after Pruning!

The rose bushes after the pruning about a month ago, are beginning to bear buds and flowers. I have waited with expectations. 

Waiting is therefore a fruitful experience!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The Wednesday visitors !

It was a rainy day and therefore not a good day to be at home! 

During the late afternoon when there was a short dry spell, I noticed some bird movements around our cottage. 

Most of my photos are of children, birds and flowers. 

I feel now after about twenty years of serious photography, that when we take time to watch the photos with interest and openness, the photos take us beyond our usual thoughts. 

How fascinating it is to discover those thoughts as they surface in the mind space!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Asking, Giving, Taking and Receiving!

 

Let me begin with an apology for the poor quality of the pictures above. It is because of the lack of skills to take pictures in poor light conditions on a rainy day. Also it was too early in the morning for the natural light fall on the top of a coconut palm on cloudy day.

I watched four features in this splendid scene. 

One wood pecker gave away a bird song which the other perceived as a call for a feed.

The other wood pecker opened its beaks gradually.

The wood pecker picked up its feed from the mouth of the wood pecker who was ready to give. 

The cycle of asking, giving, taking and receiving takes place sometimes noticed.

A child of five years asked me yesterday for the knee hammer I used to examine his tendon reflexes. I gave it to him. He wanted to examine my tendon reflexes for which I gave permission.   He took the freedom to be playful and  received my offer to be a subject for his exploration. After his exploration, he handed me back the hammer and allowed me to continue examining him. It was one experience which brought home to me the mutuality that emerges in human engagement and conversation. 

The one sidedness we sometimes practice to control others by our generosity in giving, does no good to the giver, till the giver is able to receive something in return from the person to whom he or she offered the gift of time, thought, kindness or meeting a need. The giver when received is building mutuality. 

This brings us to the issue that needs attention. Do we give to satisfy our conscience of wanting to be generous or do we give in order awaken the other person to a new reality of being loved and thought about!

The last photo above brings this into sharp focus. Both Wood peckers convey a body language of having been fulfilled and ready for the next move!

I watched the pair in their next flight station shortly after this scene I referred to above. 

This enraged me even more. They were not in a dependent relationship. They were both explorers, but connecting with each other to share moments of intimacy and affection, from which they emerge to be on their own to continue exploring. 

In all relationships there is asking, giving, taking and receiving! And yet there is freedom to be oneself without a feeling of obligation to give or receive !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

The largeness of the small !

This small rose flower was the only flower in the garden in our courtyard yesterday! But it gave colour to the garden. Amidst the greenery of the garden, it was present there to give its nectar, fragrance and artistic style.

The gift in being small !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

Listening is receiving!

This photo speaks to me of the gift of the listening presence, that we can offer to each other! It communicates attentiveness with openness and delight!

We listen to receive and to bless the our person with our acceptance and affirmation. 

The art of listening is turning and tuning towards the other person. There is no compulsion to speak or pressure to be ready with wit and wisdom as a response. Listening is active by feeling  with the other person and sensing the inner world from where a person is reaching out. 

In listening we receive the gift a person is offering; the gift and the giver become a link in our learning journey! 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

The whorl of hair on the scalp as a sign!

I have been on a search in the last two years to find the significance of a single whorl of hair on the scalp, when seen in the right, left or central. What about the double whorl of hair!

The formation of hair on the scalp takes place between 10 and 16 weeks of pregnancy. So understanding the whorl pattern might open up a new understanding of the timing of insult developmentally, when a child is developmentally challenged!

I look forward to looking into this issue. 

I find that in understanding the causal pathway of developmental departure in children would normally lead to the developmental pathway open for the child and parenting pathway for parents.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

Parking behaviour!

With more cars on the road, there is a parking congestion. Most institutions would have planned for carking areas, but all their expectations went haywire since the car owners have increased in number in the last twenty years. With cars available on instalment basis, there are many takers. 

I get confused however, when I watch the parking behaviour. Car owners park wherever a space is available. The staircase in this photo is blocked partially by parking of cars on both levels. In an emergency it is at the staircases where there would be a congestion for people's movements. 

I have several photos of cars and motor bikes parked where there is a board saying, 'NO PARKING'!

We compel car owners to park wherever there is a space because parking space is not enough. The multi-storied parking spaces are becoming common in places, where hundreds of people come to work. 

However, to park in such a way that we inconvenience others, does not seem to be an acceptable parking behaviour. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Inside the Sanctuary of the Syrian tradition!

Every time I visit a Sanctuary of the Syrian tradition, I get a sense of the history church practices followed during the worship time. This particular sanctuary has an alter which looks ornamental and elegant, hopefully to represent the glory and abundance of God to the worshippers. There were ringing of bells and burning of incense as in the Old Testament tradition. 

During an hour long sung marriage service, the prayers took the congregation to the wider canvas of marriage according to the Biblical narration. 

What struck me at the end of the service was that the newly wedded couple was committed to the oversight of the congregation for their wellness. In fact, the congregation made a prayer to that effect that the members present would remain as witnesses to their journey married life. 

A man and  woman would become husband and wife, father and mother, and later grand father and grandmother. That journey started for this couple today. It awakened my consciousness to a new responsibility of being a companion to them in the transitions in this journey of full actualisation of married life.

It occurred to me that marriage ceremony is not the just an occasion of celebration and festivity alone, but a call to those who are present at the service for a commitment to carry the couple in thoughts, for them to be path finders in their journey of life!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Two tuneful Bulbuls !

 

These two Bulbuls took turns to be at the same spot and engage us in bird songs for a short while. They brought the gift of songs and melody!

Birds are more than visitors, they are messengers and providers!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Remembering Friends!

At a gathering for all friends who supported us during the recent months when we were engaged in the tenth anniversary of Developmental Paediatrics at the MOSC college, we had an occasion to remember the contribution of medical students in different ways to support the department. 

In 2012 when we got started, some medical students were regard visitors to the department and helped us to decorate the different rooms. Later in the first anniversary of the department, the medical students put up a skit to enlarge the understanding about developmentally challenged children and their families. During the subsequent years, the medical students involved us in different ways while they were orgnanizing the cultural activities. Since I discontinued giving lectures two years ago, the contacts with students declined. It got revived recently when some students came forward to help during the anniversary cheer. 

The post graduate trainees in Paediatrics too volunteered to help us in different ways during th anniversary cheer. We felt encouraged by their enthusiasm and cordiality.

Two consultants from Community medicine have been active to encourage us. One of them baked cakes and contributed to the anniversary cheer. 

I want to remember on this occasion many medical students, past and present,  who have been our good friends during the last ten years. We remember with appreciation and want to share our warm regards to them. You accompanied us during the last ten years. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)