Flowers that last long!

These Ixora flowers have lasted for two months now and do not seem to have changed their colour or texture. Perhaps these are the longest surviving flowers in our garden.  

Th sight of these flowers remind me of the story of this plant. It is in the corner of our garden and is perhaps about thirty years old. It does not receive as much attention as the other plants in the garden. I suspect that we get used to the perennial nature of the flowers that they do not get noticed as much as other flowers, which live for a shorter period. 

I hear stories of children who grow up in some homes unnoticed. I recall of stories of pre-teenage children who feel that their younger siblings receive more attention at home. Sometimes parents have a feeling of them being older enough to 'manage' on their own. 

Of all the children, those in the age bracket of 8 to 12 who are often referred to as those in mid childhood are those who are ready to explore their creative skills in art, sports, reading, writing music, theatre, etc. But I get a feeling that they are late bloomers as they do not get noticed or receive support to explore their instincts. No wonder, most of them hide themselves using mobile phones as their entertainment. 

The children in mid-childhood need a formative support from parents, teachers and child development enthusiasts. They become what they are enabled and guided to become. The children's clubs organised in school to promote interests and skills of children are the place where children advance in their interests and pursuits. 

The home is another place where parents can promote generation and extension of interests. 

The mid-childhood is a long season in the life of a child. It is during this period most children would need mentoring for formation. Their thoughts are being formed and the aspirations are in the horizon. They can get directed to a wholesome view of life and opportunities or get drawn by what is transient and sensational, in which case they downsize the prospects of developing multiple competencies. 

A former Chief minister of the state of Kerala, Mr Oommen Chandy in a speech recently said that when he was between 10 and 12 years, he felt inclined to pursue a political career for himself. Now in his seventies, he traced his roots in politics to the pre-teenage years. He had some political mentors who guided him through a turbulent political career. 

I wish parents would become mentors of pre-teenage children rather than allow these children to drift in to anything less than what they are capable of. 

The pre-teenage years are the golden years in the life of a child, when they imbibe values that last!

M.C.Mathew(text a photo)

The art design by water drops

These two photos taken few hours apart show that the water drops remain on the petals! It surprised me! The petals retain the water! The flower receives what is given!

Receiving is an attitude and a habit!

The flower is given no choice!

Every word of kindness or harshness we receive can be turned into a grateful attitude! A sale person in a shop turned the harsh words of customer into an opportunity to be kind. As I watched this scene, I felt that he turned what he received into showing more act of kindness ! 

Given to give !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Flowers in our garden!

Most of the flowering plants in our garden look battered in the rain. They look dull and not fragrant. 

The flowers even in such situation bring cheer because they are colourful and dance in the breeze inviting bees and butterflies to themselves. 

The giving nature of flowers even in such situations! They give even when they are restrained by the weather. 

Giving is the way of living their mission!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

 

Privacy and invasion!

This cow while resting after its grazing had a crow landing on its body for its feed of ticks from the cow's body. The cow allowed it for while and chased it away when the crow was tickling its ear, while exploring for ticks. That is when the cow shook off the crow with a forceful asking of its head.

The crow was an invader and the cow allowed it for a while.

Most of us guard our personal space strictly and resist any invasion or occupation. Yet the instinct of humans is to take encroach into the private space of others. We are inquisitive to know about others, what hey do and how they live. We engage discussing and dissecting people in their absence. 

This sight led me to a time of soul searching! How much I respect the personal space of others and stay away comfortably! I felt that I seek to know more than I ought to know. I might do so out of curiosity rather than for the reason of understanding a person or a situation. 

The personal space is a sacred space. 

Whom I am is required to be made known so that others know more about me through self disclosure. 

What of self disclosure is required!

The place of self disclosure is the family we belong to. We would do well if we can also make enough self disclosures in our social setting for others to know us enough to relate to. 

It is when we live closed, others are intrigued and desirous to probe to know.  

Honouring our private space by being thoughtful of others so that they know us well enough; respecting the private space of others without a driven inquisitiveness; relating to others on the basis of self disclosures they make and living peaceably with others as much as possible are good practices.  

Eve forced Adam to eat the forbidden fruit. The force we use because of our intimacy and nearness to others to conform them to our liking or expectation disregard others and their private space. 

When we feel invaded or our personal space getting forcibly occupied by others, we would need to shake off the imposition that comes upon us just as the cow did to the crow. 

The fascinating part of this orientation is that silence can be the means to disarm others, who needle us to embarrass us. The solemn silence of Jesus of Nazareth before Pilate when he was accused unjustifiably is a sure path of honour we can seek for ourselves. Instead of defending, moving on, if possible with no malice towards them, who force into our private space, is a sign of hope and trust we repose in God of love and mercy! 

M.C.Mathew(M.C.Mathew)

New houses after a dull period!

The rural landscape in our village and others close by to us is changing with new houses under correction. After the respite from the Pandemic, there is a renewed pace with which new houses are coming  up along the rural roads. 

We need houses to live in! Do we need bungalows and lavishly big independent houses!

We need convenience in our houses. Do we need an imposing structure!

We need space and safety, but do we need to be austentatious! 

I hear these issues discussed in different fora as people spend paying up the bank loans almost till they retire from work. If anything is pending to be paid, it is cut from the provident fund, which then reduces their monthly pension.  

The level of seeking for comfort has no norms anymore. No wonder we live beyond our means! We fail ourselves when we build a house beyond what we need! we make ourselves debtors which strangle us later. 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Three pictures of body stillness !

I have twenty pictures of this Kingfisher in body stillness, that surprised me beyond measure. A bird is able to be still because it is its need to grow in vigilance. 

It is a message of some significance to me. To prepare our body to be still is the way to begin to experience  interiorly stillness!

The stillness of the body and interior silence when practiced for short periods of time can become good spiritual exercises for those who seek to go deeper into inner consciousness. 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

A deceptive appearance!

From a distance, I felt surprised by the sight of a while flower and two beds of different colours from the same rose bush. It was an astonishing sight.

It was only when I went nearby I realised  that the red and yellow buds belonged to two other rose plants which happened to be surrounding the white flower. 

The appearance versus reality!

I guess that a lot of deceptive messages are posted in the social media, which people consume and form their opinions. 

Truth cannot be hidden; it rises above all the clever manipulations. Truth triumphs and resonates loud enough to awaken human conscience! 

Th habit of announcing the untruth loudly and the majority repeating it does not make it a truth. 

I feel alarmed at the different subtle ways used by the officialdom in India to underplay the truth about the number of people who died from COVID pandemic!  The WHO had to reveal the actual number. It surprised us, as it was severalfold more than the number which was floated by our official agencies. 

Truth lies often in ambush and lies scattered. The truth seeking is a calling to live by!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

Mace and the nut.

I joined Anna for a short while today, while she was gathering the nutmeg fallen from the trees in our garden. 

After gathering them, the routine consists of of washing them and opening the partially open shell to take out the nut covered in a red mace. The mace which is like a flower and the nut need to be dried in the sun or in an oven.

This practice has a history of fifty years since the the nutmeg trees started yielding in our garden. I felt good to have helped Anna as on most days she gathered them on her own to have them ready for our domestic helper to continue the rest of the routine, when she arrived later in themorning. 

What a provision this garden has been for us to live in and live on! 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

The Rambutan

This Rambutan bush, three years old fruit bearing now. Two of the fruits are turning the colour which is an indication of the ripening stage. 

The strawberry picking and Rambutan picking are two activities, which children would love to do.  The Rambutan trees, four of them in the garden have abundance of fruits during this season. We look forward to the arrival of grandchildren in June for them to enjoy plucking and eating straight from the tree!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The missing look !

Some trees have an unusual second flowering season due to the changes in the climate. The summer this year was interspersed with rains so much so it was almost equivalent to monsoon. rain. The down side of this is that the trees have much less blossoms, unlike the usual look of the tree fully purple adorned by a canopy of flowers. 

Unusual events happen to surprise us or to call our attention to realities we ignored. 

Among the many things that got badly disturbed by the COVID season was the training programme of undergraduate medical students. A final year medical student who completed his final year medical examination and waiting to join internship, told me that he missed two years of clinical training due the COVID as classes were suspended. 

About 30 percent of medical students in one state in South India did not appear for the final year examination to protest against the inadequate training they received. They were arguing for an extension of their training for six months for them to have more clinical bed side demonstrations. But the university and the the honourable court rejected their appeal. They decided to boycott the examination.

It is one occasion when I looked forward to reading more on this matter with medical college teachers becoming generous to offer work extra, to provide further training for the final year students. But that did not happen. I felt alone when I raised this another for consideration. 

Two batches of medical students had this unfortunate situation of inadequate bed side clinical truing. One batch is now about to complete the internship. I heard  interns discussing in a group meeting that it was extremely distressing not to have been able to examine patients methodically to come to an impression about their illness as they did not have usual final year bed side learning which normally equipped them to advance in clinical competencies. 

I find this disturbing and alarming!

Inspite of alerting the policy makers by a section of medical educationalists, the universities did not offer the benefit to students to feel better equipped!

I noticed an unfeeling heart among the policy makers!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

The bud to flower!

I counted seven hues of different colours in this water Lily, growing in a pot of water near the car park at the hospital. I could not have guessed most of the colours in this rich spectrum of light colours on the petals of this flower. It was a bud covered in not so attractive covering.

It is a metaphor to human character. From hearing, seeing or reading about a person, we might form an opinion about a person. But it is in relationship we are drawn into what is concealed by the exterior. 

We come across shocking and disturbing discoveries of people when we draw near to them sometimes. I had an experience of this today, when a timber merchant refused to pay the amount earlier agreed upon by him after felling the trees. I was ready to be concessional in case he suffered a loss. But he was unreasonably impolite. 

But I have a vivid memory of another type of  experience from a driver of a load carrier, who after the wedding of his daughter brought to us a large collection of eatables prepared during the few functions connected with the marriage. He told us that, it was an acknowledgement of courtesies he received form us on few occasions we used him to transport goods. He invited us to his home to meet the couple. 

I have known both the people for a while. Both appeared relationally easy to get along. But they followed different track of behaviour in a relational setting. 

All of us like to relate to others who reciprocate meaningfully. But there are occasions when we need to be ready to face the harsh reality of being let down or wrongly treated or battered by their language of intimidation.

What matters is how we are to others when the going gets tough!

How wonderful if others can discover more goodness in us even when we are in adverse situations or provocations!

That is my learning intent as I look forward to the season ahead!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo) 

Flowers inspite of rain!

This cactus in a pot, adjacent to the car park is a plant with flowers often.  The rain made many flowers in our garden look devoid of their fragrance and freshness. But not the flowers in this cactus. Someone mentioned to me that they are small and have a wax like coat over the petals, which insulate them from the harm of the rain.  

All of us feel battered sometimes by the circumstances in which we live. 

I feel it as a reality!

Th dinner resilience is our protection!

I saw a three years old child holding a white rose flower in his hand in a function. Another child came and forcibly took it away from him. The boy surprised with the loss of he flower, turned to his mother and said, 'It is ok. I had it for a long time'. 

Tha is resilience. To be content in having and not having. 

 I wish I can learn to have a similar spirit of this child!

Children surprise us often with what we can learn from them!

To live holding on to things lightly and mindfully is a message worth pondering upon. What    I have cannot be mine alone...we are not possessors but relayers in this vocation of life!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

  

The dusky sky turned brighter little later at the horizon giving hope for a sunny day. As I watched this, I also noticed a fading rainbow, which I could not capture with my camera in the dim light! I felt that I needed more photographic skills to capture such rare sights!

The sky is open to us giving us different images of the weather and everything else scientists gather from it. The sky revels to us the mood of nature and how it changes several times during the day.  

It is a pointer to the mood changes we experience in our day to day life. 

While returning after a funeral service of a family member, Anna and I recapitulated what we heard about him, spoken by people who knew him well in the recent years. His laughter was spoken about by almost everyone. Anna and I having witnessed it on several occasions, we too felt that it was a reflection of joy and contentment he experienced within. From a difficult circumstance of suffering the loss of an untimely demise of his mother and sister, he lived to build up a family that was talked about effusively for their hospitality and generosity in the eulogy offered to him.  He saw others in need compassionately and opened his hands freely to support them. His was a life lived experiencing pain, but triumphing over it to reflect joy and hope. Th speakers attributed this to his habit reading the scripture. One speaker mentioned that there were fifteen Bibles in his study in different versions and languages, most of them underlined with notes written in hand by him. 

Joy is not just a smile. Joy is the interior mood that reflects the consciousness of a godly orientation. 

We drove back home in the evening after a day of listening to the journey paths of a person who lived his life well, relationally and mindfully! 

What the presbyter of his church and his son said about him were moving. The presbyter spoke of him as one for whom 'prayer was a habit'. His son spoke of him as as a 'loving , giving and forgiving' father!

Our interior mood is what defines the way we live!

I found the testimony about him as a call to live beyond the strain of living, experiencing the peace and joy that God brings to human soul. 

M.C.Mathew ( photo and text) 

 

A missed catch !

I noticed this Kingfisher taking a quick dive into the pool of water below in the field and returning with no food between its bills. 

It had got soaked in water and was quick to groom and be dry to continue the morning vigil for its feed. In the third photo above, we can see the water drops flying in the air, when the Kingfisher  flapped its wings and flipped the feathers to be dry.  

It was then ready to wait!

This habit is instinctual to the Kingfishers. It knows well enough to get ready for the next move. 

I pondered over it while rushing back to our cottage as it had started to drizzle by then. I had thought of waiting  to watch the next move of the Kingfisher. 

It's recovery time was ultrashort. It knows from experiences that catching a fish while chasing it is successful only now and then. 

It is over this matter I have recently pondered over a bit. After forty years in Child Development pursuit, I have many things to be abundantly thankful for! But a few disappointments have often surfaced to dissuade me from going on! It is one year now, since one such major incident of discouragement drained me for a while. 

During this protracted recovery time, there have been many signals of recovery and hope. One significant outcome is a booklet, that is now ready to go to the press for parents to monitor a developmentally challenged child at home. This enables parents to be informed about the observations they can make in the domains of motor skills, language, communication, social skills, pre-school skills, sleep, feeding, play, behaviour, home environment, etc.  This monitoring process can be valuable for parents to be vigilant to seek for help, when any developmental delay is noticed. 

This booklet is a summary of a long journey which started at the ASHIRVAD Child Development centre at Chennai in 1983, when we designed a parent involved home based developmental monitoring programme in a primitive way. Since then it got refined and is now presented in this booklet.

This might be unusually user friendly publication for parents! Shalini Shaji compiled it and Anna edited and formatted it to make it publication ready!

As this booklet is now ready for use for parents, I feel overwhelmed by some significant events during the last one year- publication of Bud to Blossom, Into the Tenth  year, and an On-Line weekly academic meeting in Child Development and rehabilitation jointly organised with Dr Vinitha Varghese of Physical Medicine department at Bangalore Baptist Hospital, now completing its 38th weekly meeting.

The last one year was like moving to the 'other side'! Jesus of Nazareth 'made the disciples to get into the boat ..to go to the other side...' (Mat 14:22). What they encountered was, '..battered by the waves for the wind was contrary'(v24). But Jesus came to them in the fourth watch of night walking on the sea (v25). The wind stopped when Jesus got into the boat. But it took a while for the disciples to know that it was Jesus who came walking on the water. 

There are missed opportunities in life, but they lead us to pathways ahead in our journey to   the other side, which means to me at this instance, going beyond! 

In the fortieth year of ASHIRVAD, Anna and I stay amazed at the turn of events in the last one year which initially frightened and shook us, when we came under the radar of suspicion for not being efficient or effective. 

Now we are at the threshold of new possibilities and opportunities. 

The Kingfisher missed its catch, but got itself dried to fly when the next feed is spotted! What a way to live! 

Turn disappointment into an opportunity!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The nesting pair!

It was about  two months ago, a pair of Bulbuls nested in our backyard and had three baby birds. Now another pair has started building the nest in the porch of our cottage. For the last three days we noticed this pair requesting this spot and arrived today with twigs to start making the nest. 

During the long spell of rain in the last three days, when there was a dry gap, they were busy with planning and inspecting rtes site. 

Now that the twigs have bee placed to form the nest, it would be a lot of activity in the coming few days. 

The bird life has occupied a lot of our attention in the recent months. 

Anna and I are looking forward to the publication of this volume of our recollections with bird movements around our home! It is currently in the press.We realised that birds were often messengers bringing insights and invitation to us. 

It is a publication to remember the story of ASHIRVAD Christian Concern for Child Care, a charity involved in starting Child Development Centres at Chennai, Nagpur, Vellore, Pondicherry, and Kolencherry.  ASHIRVAD enters into its fortieth year in November 2022. 

Anna and I felt that we owe a lot to friends who facilitated the journey of ASHIRVAD to pioneer into child development programme in India. This publication is a tribute to them. We celebrate thorough this publication the joy of having been carried by God in this voyage!  

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Flowers take time to open!

This flower took fifteen days to to open from being a bud. 

It takes an infant three months to five months to hold his or her neck steady, while being made to sit. From then on it is an ongoing process all being well to be able to walk between ten months and fifteen months. 

From scribbling to writing it takes about two to three years of time

It takes twelve to fifteen years of training for a person to be a Neurologist. 

It is almost a twenty years haul to be a neurosurgeon in the United States of America. 

Most of us take time to reach where we feel called to arrive.

The intriguing question is: what makes us willing to take such a long journey!

It is for the purpose of becoming what we feel we are able to be! Then we pursue living  for drawing benefits to ourselves. 

But a flower after it has has become what it was meant to be, gives itself to others, bees, ants, butterfly, and to be cut to decorate a table vase. Or else it will drop the petals and fade away into the soil that nurtured it. 

This is a question that comes up before me in the seventh decade of my life! What am I living for!

Is there a sense of openness to share my life with others thorough the professional service I offer. 

I keep pondering over this question almost each day! How much more can I be sharing and caring!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Getting ready for the bird call!

This pair of Bulbuls perched on the cable outside our cottage was in a pensive and observant mood for several minutes before one of them broke the silence with its bird song. I chose seven pictures from about fifty I took before the birdsong, to highlight the preparation before the birdsong. 

The sense of presence and awareness the birds needed before they can sing interested me. Since this observation, I have taken an interest in listening to the bird songs of Bulbuls even more.

First it is just a chirp of short duration and not loud enough to be heard from a distance.  Then it moves to repeated bird calls with short pause in between. Then the calls become longer and louder. If another Bulbul were to respond from somewhere, the calls become reciprocal. 

A bird announces its presence and claims its territory through its bird song. 

More than that it is a love song which a male birds sings for finding its partner and having found it, it sings for joy and affirming companionship. It is interesting to observe that a female bird who is not so tuneful also starts singing once it is searching for a partner! 

A song is from within. 

Yesterday two visitors came in both of whom disturbed me by their behaviour. They came to speak rather than to listen. One of them even interrupted me even when I was offering to say my version of the story. He asked me to listen to him and he repeated himself five times in that five minutes of conversation. He walked out when he thought that  he finished his purpose of visit. I do not even know if he knew that he disturbed me with his loudness, controlling tenor and imposing style. 

Speaking and listening are for knowing each other. Even if there is a disagreement, we can still be friendly enough to listen.  

Birds tells us that singing is for others. We speak to others for bringing cheer to them. That is what I am still leaning!

Listening alone earns us the right to speak!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

A stressed behaviour!

One Bulbul in the photo above is singing away. 

The other is seen turning back with an intent look and  reacting with its feathers puffed up, obviously a typical bird behaviour when stressed !

As I kept watching the next move of this pair, I was taken back as the singing bird sang even more lustily following  the message of stress it received from the other bird.  

The Bird call which became louder, longer and frequent was its way of dispelling the stress and  augment the readiness to act if threatened. 

The inner composure to face the stress and turn it to be even more tuneful in singing is a sign that stress when received in a healthy way can bring out more good acts in our behaviour. 

Stress can evoke reaction with, but it can also be a means to increase in doing good. It is one way of filling the stressed space with abundance of goodness. 

An inner composure of restfulness in stressful situations bring peace to ourselves and others. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Look ahead, backward and Listen inwardly!

The Kingfisher was perched on the tallest coconut palm in our garden and was steadfastly and intently focussed on the distant view. It was so still that I wondered if anything could disturb it. Among the bird visitors to our garden, Kingfishers have fixed flight stations, form where they have an overview of long distances from that vantage position. Looking ahead is a way of living by choice and discipline of planning.

The Bulbul was looking back and stayed in that posture for several minutes. It looked to be engaging in some sight. Single birds have a habit of seeking for security. They have a practice of assigning a territory to stay in order to be safe form predators. This speaks of the territorial instinct of some birds, who by practice of being there regularly, proclaim its claim on the flight stations. I have seen other birds moving away once a regular visitor has come to perch on a tree.  Tracing back the flight path is one way of remembering the path taken. Remembering to recall the way we travelled each day creates within us the practice of pondering. Some of us even make a journal of events and experiences to recall the paths that we tread.

The third photo is that of a Pair of Bulbuls in a state of stillness and vigilance. I have watched such sights so often with some bird pairs that I am tempted to refer to such times as listening time. The avian movements can be seen and heard. Those birds whose eye sight is not as good as  that of the Eagles and Kingfishers for a distant vision, would perhaps use listening as way of knowing the terrain. The chirps and birdcalls are all in the air.  It is when birds are still, they can listen to what is going on around and make sense inwardly of the next move. For birds, movements and flights are part of their second nature. They can move only when they are sure of the avian terrain ahead. The listening time is also a time of communion in companionship. They communicate between themselves with sounds and moves. Often one bird moves away to be followed by the other. They would take different flight paths but arrive at the next station together. 

Looking ahead, recollecting and staying still for inward listening are habits that humans have followed for centuries. The saints and sages have practiced it as their way of staying ahead of time with a prophetic sense!

In some air ports I have been, there are meditation rooms. The one in Zurich air port is a place I have visited to be still, during the transit time in the air port. I recollect some occasions when Anna and I have been together in that room, sometimes with a friend. It was an occasion to look back on the flight till then and look forward to the remaining flight. Often the flight induced tiredness was replaced by an inward alertness and readiness for the next  flight. 

The interior silence in a noisy world is what humans need. The impulsive living and governing   to me, would be a reaction to what we hear and see, rather than an action from a message received by inward listening. 

I had prepared a power point presentation yesterday morning for a meeting in the afternoon. I saved it but the computer kept giving  an error message. I did not take it seriously. When I opened the computer later to edit the presentation, it was nowhere in the folder. It meant sending another four hours remaking the presentation, finishing half an hour before the scheduled meeting. I was awfully disturbed by what happened to begin with. But during the remaking, the thrust of the presentation changed to another direction, which in retrospect was more apt for the occasion.  

A disappointing time but a redeeming time! It was in the stillness of that time I found acceptance rather than be a slave to a complaining behaviour. A friend having known about it said: you did not look disturbed by it. I was in fact so disturbed that I had thought of making a verbal presentation. It was in the stillness of few minutes, it dawned on me that there are pictures and tables I have to present, which cannot be done through an oral presentation. 

To live our lives contextually in our setting, each of us needs a discerning spirit, which can come to us, by interior silence and inward listening. 

The bird visitors are messengers calling me to revise habits to stay centred in an inward consciousness of truth, beyond the just the superficial perception!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)