Birds find their feed each day!

 Anna and I find this experience rewarding!

We have fruit bearing trees which give seasonal fruits to us and to the avians and squirrels.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Communication!

The birds have times of intimacy! It is their way of becoming present to each other!

I wonder whether this is still a normal experience in human families!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Robins have babies!

Anna and I watched  a pair of Robins visiting our backyard often. 

Our attention turned to a nest that they made in the corner of our verandah, adjacent to our dining room. For a few days subsequent to that, one of them appeared to be roosting. To our surprise we noticed the nestlings, three of them. 

We noticed the mother bird bringing food and the pair often seen watching over them!

The sight of the nestlings popping up their heads and searching for food is worth watching!

It is the first time since we started living here ten years ago, we have had such a pleasant sight in our proximity!

It is a tenth anniversary gift to us!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

 

Flowe refreshment!rs bring

All the above flowers in our garden have a short life of a few days.

But the desert roses below have stayed blooming for three weeks now without loosing their colour and brilliance even in the soaring day temperature!

As I stayed with this thought, it crossed my mind that just as flower behaviours are different, so is human behaviour  from one person to another person. 

It is when I come to the park the car each day I get a sense of the spectrum of human behaviour. A person parked the car yesterday opposite to the the steps connecting the road to the steps leading to the college canteen that I saw people filing behind each other to access the steps to the ground level to approach the canteen. I almost took a photo, but did not want to expose this  sight publicly!

I was standing to punch at the machine to register my presence and I found two others one form each side pushing their hands infant of me to punch at the machine. 

I waited at the coffee bar a few minutes till I others who came after me ordered loudly their snacks. 

After these experiences, as I was walking back to the department, I found a domestic helper who was mopping floor waiting for me to pass by. I was stopped by another person to thank me for the attention I gave to his relative who cane with their child. Shortly thereafter, another person greeted me to say that the stair case was blocked temporarily because for repair work and guiding me to use another stair case. 

All of us come across such mixture of experiences form others each day. 

What occurred to me yesterday, was a reminder to grow in mindfulness towards others and pursue to do good whenever possible. 

Yesterday, three of my colleagues while saying farewell to me noticed that I had a few hospital charts on my table, which had to be handed over to the Medical Record Section. One of them offered to take them to give to the MRD. I found every excuse to dissuade her from waiting to do so till I completed writing the notes. But she insisted to wait and entered the data in the register and took them to give to the MRD. It involved a detour from he regard path.

It is worth observing human behaviour to learn how we can grow in mindfulness towards others. We can become cynical because of our disappointments or get encouraged by the acts of kindness we receive.

The latter is the way to spread the light of hope!

This world needs to see more of the goodness to stay hopeful amidst a despairing situation! We live at the mercy of nuclear deterrent some countries exercise! With Russia not having been able to occupy Ukrainian territory after one month of fighting, will Russia use its nuclear option is what is on the minds of world leaders!

The United Nations could not stop the invasion of Russia. India is about to enter into a treaty to get oil from Russia while rest of the world is boycotting Russian oil. That would escalate tension between India and the western nations. The coming together of Russia, China and Pakistan into partnership is another worrying factor! India is also in its fold. Strangely all these countries have more of a totalitarian trait in them, although India still claims to be democratic! India is not democratic as it used to be during my growing up years! 

The divisiveness and oppositional views are strong in India that fraternal and cordial responses towards each other is fading away! I feel anguished! Are we not humans and citizens of one India beyond our political or religious identity! There was a solace to hear Mr Rahul Gandhi speak in the Lok Sabha that India is a union of states and a land of diversities. But even the political party of which he is a senior leader is not able to get people on his side to win elections! The majority seem to be embracing a totalitarian practice and commitment to the ideology of their choice rather than the idea of India.

Doing good and growing in mindfulness of others is therefore even more needed today! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

The corner stone!

While building the wall to our property recently, the mason pointed out to me the corner stone which separates our property from the neighbour's, which fascinated me. 

My parents owned this property for about sixty years and this is the first time I noticed the boundary stone that gave an authentic identification of the boundary of the property. 

The stones that separate the properties often have been a bone of contention between neighbours. The owner of the adjacent property visited the construction site and inspected the excavation done to build the foundation of the wall to make sure that we do not encroach on to his property. He went back more than glad for the boundary line we preserved between the two properties. 

It was a testing time for our integrity. 

We were glad to have had the approval of our neighbour. 

The result was a big surprise. The neighbour suggested to use the access to his property to stack the stones and stand needed for construction. That saved us from having to make a separate access with considerable difficulty. 

So this shall be a memorial for us. Our willingness to honour the property boundary earned us his favour. 

Yesterday I was caught in a traffic hold up in a junction. I was not able to move. In fact if I moved it could create space for others. I drove in to the adjacent open space to facilitate  decongestion. Every driver that passed by waved at me to express their gratitude. Although it took away ten minutes of my time, I felt good that I was able to act quickly. I confess that I am not so gracious some other times. 

What transforms situations of stress into peaceful ending is kind and thoughtful response to the situation!

Another learning experience !

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

During a nature walk!

A three years old child while in our garden spotted the cashew fruits in the tree and started to count. He counted upto six, pointing to the cashews in the different bunches of flowers. 

This applied information exceeded the mathematical concepts that he might have been already introduced to, during his reading or play habits.

What was fascinating was the numerical thinking skills of this child. He could think numerically as soon he saw the fruits hanging in a tree. What was intriguing to me was the way he recalled  different numbers by pointing to the number of fruits in each flower bunch. 

It was another reminder of the laborious and uninteresting exercise we do in the class room to teach numbers without associating it with events in in real life. 

According to the Gurukulum tradition of ancient primary school education, which started only at six years, the classes were held under trees. The open class room concept or virtual learning is the in thing today. 

But this three years old child was calling my attention to the several advantages of learning by seeing and doing rather than confining them to a crowded closed door class rooms. He followed his instinct to learn and proposed a curriculum to us to learn from that context. The exercise that followed was to move around in the garden and count the number of flowers in each plant, which took his counting beyond twenty. 

Following this, he turned to count all the flowers in the garden which had five petals. He talked about the difference in the shapes and colours of the petals. 

When would we see an education plan for early schoolers, where the learning is child initiated and directed! Will a teacher in a lower Kindergarten start the day by asking children , 'what would you like to learn today'? There might be three or more ideas that children might express. Would the teacher be ready to pursue those ideas by diving children into groups and allowing them to discover and learn!

Learning is for life and what early schoolers need is to learn the way of learning, rather than an over emphasis on what they ought to learn!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Mid Life events !

 

A banana pant in our garden showed signs of some disease  with its leaves turning yellow and some bananas turning brown! It seems to be in its mid life!

The mid life events can be uplifting or downsizing our lives. 

At the sight of this banana plant with its fruit, just outside the gate to our cottage, I felt alarmed yesterday that we might loose the plant to some disease by the look of it!

I suppose an experienced farmer would know what to do in such situations to save the plant. 

Our lives are exposed to challenges of all sorts!

We do not know when a difficulty would strike us.

I met a doctor yesterday who is preparing for the NEET for his post-graduate training, who was on his way to play basket ball.  When I complemented him for finding time to play amidst his learning, he said, 'It is one way of learning to live well balancing life events'! What a statement of hope!

It is in mid life we face new challenges! The readiness for mid life transitions begins from younger days with a view on the inevitable life transitions. 

To escape from the ill effects of non communicable diseases of middle life, it is good to be aware and adapt diet, exercise and leisure time activities keeping this reality in mind. 

As I look back at my mid life, I wish I was more diligent in my pursuit of preparation for ageing!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

 

Fading and Fresh flowers!

During my walk in the garden yesterday, the sights of fading flowers and fresh flowers held my attention!

I have had to take extra care during the week to adjust to my pains and aches in my body reminding me of the ageing factor that would inevitably have a bearing  on my bodily  wellness. 

But just beyond the two flowers that were fading away, there were two flowers which were fresh which captured my attention. 

As the body bears the marks of ageing, the inner being can have new and refreshing orientation to life!

A mother and her daughter while sharing tearfully the story of stressful experiences they were going through,  what restored their hope was the renewal of efforts still possible to find a way forward amidst the frozen situation at home. 

Life is beckoning us to live beyond the present. The signs of stress and distress might be knocking at our door, but what can still hold our attention is our inner self which would live beyond all the transitory experiences of existential life!

A child reminded me of this experience yesterday. He brought a car with him into the  consultation room. While playing with it, one of its wheels broke away. He without any obvious reaction gave the car to his mother and turned his attention to the hammer that I was using to examine his knee reflexes. A short while later he left that too and wanted to go away to the children's corner outside the room, where children congregate to play, while waiting for consultation. He knew that there was something beyond the present!

The opposite view that the present alone matters is the instinct, which makes the president of Russia to invade Ukranian territory, killing scores of people each day. Th pain and ruins created by bombing and aggression don't seem to touch those who advocate for war, because the now and the immediate alone seem to matter to them.  A generation or two of families would stay suffering with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, while living in other countries as refugees and displaced people on account of war! If only the Russian authorities had a faint view of this disaster,  they would have agreed for a cease fire by now! 

A preoccupation with the present is a denial of the whole truth about life and its purpose. 

We have a future even while we live on the face of the earth. 

Each day I return from work and go to work, I feel challenged by this invitation: to live in the present keeping the future in sight!

All of us who are involved in alleviating the suffering of others who seek health care, ought to believe that even beyond their physical suffering, they have an inner life which can be redeemed to a level of peace and hope even when the physical challenges might not have a reasonable liberation!

One clinical condition in children which manifests with 'autistic' features is a situation, when parents need help to look at the future and prepare the child to explore and exercise his or her special abilities. 

The second photo in this blogspot of a flower in transition is a message to me. From the time  we are born we are in a transition from one stage to another. The present is not a stationary or permanent phase. The present season in life is a transitional stage. So why get preoccupied and self absorbed in the present alone!

That is why turning my attention to the bright flowers was a reviving experience for me yesterday. 

The latter days are likely to be better than the former days! If not we can turn them to be so because humans are destined to live with hope!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

An open Mind!

Every day as I open our gate to our cottage in the morning and close it in the evening, I ask myself a question, how open am I to take in the events of the day to expand my interior consciousness. 

The Russian President seems to have a closed mind about this thoughts on invading Ukraine even after three Prime Ministers from neighbouring countries arrived in Ukraine to express solidarity with the suffering nation of Ukraine. 

To have a closed mind is to loose our humanness and humane responses to critical issues.

Is there an epidemic of closed mind-set among humans in many cultures!

Of all the people, who profess to be democratic, there is a an increasing tendency to stay closed to realities beyond what they like to consider!

Freedom from from a closed mind set! That is my longing!

I want to open the doors that are still shut!

That is how I begin the day today!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

From flowers to fruits!

It is an intriguing sight to have different stages of fruit bearing in the cashew tree in our garden. From fdlwerys to a ready to pluck fruit!

It is an unusual sight. This suggests that the tree flowered at different times during the last three months because of which it has different stages of the fruits. 

This is another sign of climate change.  The mid winter was warmer than usual  during the day that it reached the pre-summer humidity and warmth to flower. Following which, the day and night temperature dropped but peeked in February, which led to another flowering season. 

The trees do not follow the calendar dates, but follow the soil and atmospheric conditions. 

Something to ponder upon!

The trees get conditioned by the external environment. 

Don't the humans also get conditioned by the environment around us!

The recent protests against Muslim women wearing a scarf over their head, was brought into sharp focus, just before the voting took place in five state elections, presumably to benefit a particular political party! Whether it is true or not, there is a lot of activity in the social media to influence human thinking in a tangential way!

To have an inner self regulation is what is sane for human behaviour! That is how we can insulate ourselves form being swayed by 'climate changes'!

The rounded grip !

Most of the birds have a claw structure which help them to have a good grip over the twig where they are perched! That provides them to stay secure.

What humans seem to loose amidst the struggle to live is the roundedness and wholistic approach that is vital. To have have an all-round view of any situation is what humans are endowed to have. 

But most seem to have a one sided view and presume that to be the complete view. 

Listening to the story of a child who is suffering from a post-traumatic stress,  it was gratifying to find the mother moving towards a wholistic view of the prolonged stressful events which landed the a boy in his mid childhood in conversion reaction. That awareness is the path leading to help the child unwind from the knots within himself in his void mind. 

To be reasonably rounded is to have a full grip of the situation which often is the strength while facing adverse circumstances. 

The birds have in their instinct to hold on by exercising a rounded grip !

Holding on would mean for us, to be fully present with a fair view of a difficult situation from 360 degrees, so that there is least bias but fullness of clarity and discerning spirit!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Looking different!

I felt fascinated by the look of the four stages of the rose flowers in this rose bush! They appear together and look brilliant but are in different stages of opening or shedding its petals!

This became the symbol of family life as I reflected on it! Parents and children are in different stages of unfolding the mystery of their lives. 

What disturbed  me yesterday when I listened to some families, is the strong expectations with which parents live longingly to see children fulfil their aspirations. Their stories of disappointments and sadness figured in most of the conversations with families. 

What was even more revealing is the helplessness that parents feel when their dreams about their children do not get honoured due to the developmental challenges of their children. 

One event that parents look forward is the school entry of a child! Five families mentioned how it was difficult for them to get an admission for their child in schools close to their home, because schools expect children  to conform to the norms of the class room. Two parents are struggling as they were told to withdraw their children from the Lower KG as their children do not pay attention to the events in the class room. 

If you do not conform, you are shunted out!

I wish this mind set would change!

Each flower in the photo is in its own stage of unfolding!

How much I wish that parents and school teachers accept children as they are and stay with them to help them unfold their abilities and prospects by being patient companions to them!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

A bunch of flowers and a single flower!

I watched these flowers yesterday and felt a message springing up within!

Yesterday, I was still trying to close the day at 6.30 pm with some more entries to be made in the register of children whom I welcomed during the day in the out-patient service. As I was about to start after the farewell to the last family, a colleague took the register to make the entries while I completed writing the notes of the last child in the hospital chart. All my colleagues got delayed yesterday. The working hours close for them at 4.30 pm. They had families to take care till then, as some families arrived late for the developmental appraisal. I felt touched by this gesture of three of them sitting down to complete the entires of six children in the register. Another professional was engaged in debriefing a family before the farewell! 

That is when I remembered the sight of the bunch of flowers I spotted in our garden in the morning. The confluence of the red flowers gave a rich and colourful appearance. The charm and charisma of people working together is refreshing and is worth celebrating. 

At the car park of the hospital I had noticed a solitary flower in an earthen pond in the morning. Its elegance and brilliance was captivating. Its lone presence reduced its richness to some extent. I hope there would be more flowers in that pool of water in the days to come. 

There is meaning in both of these situations. We need the collaborative culture to make the confluence of strength larger than the arithmetic sum of our individual abilities. We need the individual development and maturity to feel comfortable to share our resources with others and feel delighted to share the joy of outcome with others. 

It was year back, a former colleague mentioned to me that, 'my golden years of work is over and it was good to retire and have someone else take responsibilities of the developmental paediatric services'! That message was shared with others in the department and outside. We usually welcomed 50 children in a month for about a year at that time. The decline in the numbers for consultations from about 200 children in a month to 50 during a year or so embarrassed me. The administration while talking about it told me, 'patients come in large numbers when a doctor is good at his work'!  

These two experiences shattered me and left me ready to resign and move away from a situation where I felt discredited and unwanted. I felt constrained to do so because, it is better to quit when the going is good rather than when  the going is rough because of a valley experience. That is how I decided to stay on in March 2021. That was the COVID season. I was advised to stay away from work due to increased risk due to my cardiac co-morbidity and advanced age. I felt differently. It was during such a season that families would need support and attention even more. Except for a short while when the hospital was crowded with many patients of COVID, we were able to offer consultation physically and on line mode during the last one year. 

For the last six months I am surprised that the number of children who visit us is now reaching  the earlier numbers and might exceed that with the trend that we see now. Some families who stopped visiting us after 2017, as they had a long waiting period even upto three months to get appointments, returned to share the story of how they felt disappointed as they were not able to find help when they needed help. With many families having shared similar stories I wondered how that was what was conveyed to families when I could have welcomed at least ten families each day! That was the dark period of the department, staying on for about two years. 

Since we transferred the booking for consultation to the hospital booking counter a year back, we witnessed a gradual return to the pre-2017 numbers. Now it is the challenge of confining the work to working hours so that all of us can return home on time rather than stay longer hours at work!

Yesterday when I watched the collaborative spirit in yet another way, even at the end of the day when all of them were tired , I remembered the confluence of flowers in the plant. 

The work culture is collaborative and brings an ambience of camaraderie! 

I returned home past 7.30 pm yesterday celebrating a new ambience that has set in, in the department. Since the break down of communication a year back when I felt alienated from the rest, it has been a slow and steady process to restore trust and acceptance! 

Most days during the last one year I went to work and returned from work tearfully and sorrowfully, wondering how the work place was a place of distance and strained relationships. In five other institutions where I worked earlier, I had experiences of delight and fellowship at work place. 

During the last one year, having faced a valley experience of doubts and apprehensions, there is a new light at the end of the tunnel. 

The water lily flower in the earthen pond became a hope giving symbol yesterday remind me that the season of flowering after a season of drought is forthcoming!

There is hope of better times, even when we have to endure and wait!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Two water birds in a dry land!

With the summer setting in earlier than usual time, the marshy fields that remain uncultivated have become dry. 

The water birds who thrive feeding on from the pools of water in the marshy field seem to be in a disadvantage. 

There are only a few birds unlike two weeks ago when scores of them could be spotted all through the day. The arrivals and departures of these birds were a sight to watch. The way they fly in with outstretched wings floating in the air with no flutter of the wings is a feast to the eyes. Similar when they fly out they soar high within a short distance displacing air with their outstretched wings. Now this sight is occasional during the day. 

The next there months would be rather stressful for these birds. Some of them have moved to the banks of the stream beside our property. They wait to see a guppy in the moving water to fetch it with their quick action. There are only occasional misses. 

It is when the stream dries up, which usually happens by early May, these birds migrate for a season to other places. 

My thoughts go out to the thousands who are vacating their homes to leave Ukraine due to the merciless and arrogant attitude of the Russian government by invading a sovereign country!

What hope is left for them! Their lives are ruined!

There are natural disasters. The human cause for the rest of the disasters is selfishness, desire to control and impose superiority and authority!

We live in difficult times when the memory of the Second World War is distant from our memory!

To live as migrants is a heavy toll to pay! 

The pilgrim journey and migrant journey are two diverse experiences. 

The pilgrim journey is for moving towards God of our lives. 

The migrant journey is through a barren land of despair an anguish! Let us hope that through the migrant journey, many would gain a pilgrim heart to find peace in God!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Two patterns!

The Bulbuls would perch on any tree or branch no matter if it is swayed in the wind. But  a Woodpecker would look for a solid and stable surface to hold on to!

This is what tells a lot about the instincts within!

I came across a family who spent the first ten years of their lives after marriage focussing on their children and accompanying them to different experiences in life. Now both children eight and six being in a good situation to adjust to school well, the parents decided to be altruistic. They are fostering a girl child of their domestic helper for schooling! They described how they invite this girls to outings, visits to places of interest. Over a period of six months they noticed her enthusiasm to learn and explore. A subdued child denied of many opportunities in life is coming out of the constants in her life life. 

This to me the Bulbul spirit. Live with a sense of adventure and dynamism knowing that by perching on a swaying palm leaf, there is a risk of getting swept away. But the foot hold with their tight hold on the stem of the leaf, the Bulbul stays safe. 

I wonder if families make such transitions in life. There are times when it is good to be like a Woodpecker to stay on a stable and secure premise. But there are times one can be like a Bulbul moving out to face some challenges to bring some good to others.  

Turning our life into pursuit of a vocation involves living beyond the natural confines of our preferred patterns. 

M.C.Mathew( text and photo)

Between the live cables!

 

I stay amazed when I see birds protect themselves from getting electrocuted! Any contact with another cable while perched on one of them can make this happen! And yet they have mastered the art that the live cables are  the regular flight stations for some birds!

There is a way of living that is truly dangerous, but perhaps not perceived to be so!

Of late I have got started to look at the cholesterol and triglycerides levels of developmentally challenged children, who show a tendency towards overweight. I am alarmed at the way the early indications of a metabolic syndrome is observable biochemically even as early as two years! 

More so in children born preterm or with signs of Intra Uterine Growth Restriction or born to parents who are obese!

In my pursuit to get the families to think about changing life style practices, I encounter resistance! Who thinks about hypertension, cardiac stress or early onset of Diabetes when a child is just tow years. So I started looking at the fasting blood glucose levels to help parents to be even more objective. Parents of children whose blood sugar values seem to be more ready are often ready to think seriously about this matter. 

Some who bought a Glucometer come back  with values of fasting and post meal blood sugar values. That helps them to believe the risk at hand!

Another risk that I want to mitigate is the drop of oxygens saturation in children who are mouth breathers due to the enlargement of adenoid, tonsils or due to malocclusion of teeth. With pulse oximetry now possible, about ten parents are on this plan now, to take the pulse oximetry readings at bed time, when the child gets interrupted in sleep and while on different positions of body posture during sleep.  

I feel that risk assessment and prevention is part of good health care !

It is not an easy proposition to many parents. To get parents to wean away infants and toddlers  from watching phone or playing with it or viewing TV is a difficult task as most parents find it easy to engage children by this easy mode! They forget that the machine interface is no substitute for human interface which is essential for promoting language development, social skills, meaningful play, pre-school skills etc. 

Our children grow up amidst many risk factors!

To avoid talking about the difficulties of a child in the child's parents, when children can hear and feel adversely about themselves, is another stressful situation for me. I welcome parents first to talk about the needs of a child and inspite of suggesting that they do not speak about it once a child is welcome for clinical examination, most parents do not respect that contract.  To honour a child without making him or her feel guilty or offended is necessary to prepare him  to negotiate with change in behaviour! 

It has been a difficult journey for me! 

I suffer from the criticism from some quarters, of spending half an hour or more for a consultation and the out-patient service finishing rather late!

I have been torn between being brief and being wholistic in my approach!

I hope I would find a middle path and move forward!

I sense a calling from within to mitigate risks under which parents and children live ! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)