An opportunity in a difficult time!

This photograph may remind many of us of the sights, we see in our streets almost daily, with the forthcoming elections in four state assemblies towards the end of the year and the parliamentary election next year.

These marches, rallies, public meetings, etc remind us of the democratic process of creating a majority opinion to sway people towards an ideology and a political party.

Some of us wonder, whether this democratic process has almost got out of control with speeches at these political rallies becoming accusatory, defamatory and acrimonious. We rarely hear discussion or exposition of ideologies, or alternatives solutions to issues we are faced with. It looks to me that there is a determined effort to malign leaders in the opposite side of the political spectrum, by below belt comments, meant to provoke and hurt. This to me is not democracy or political campaigning, but a highly distorted view values in democratic tradition.  

I read and watched the election process in Australia which brought another party to govern the country. I felt there was respect of people, even when policies were subject to scrutiny and criticism. 

I have had occasions to listen to debates in the house of Commons and the House of the Lords in England. I felt elated by the respect and honour the parliamentarians offer to each other, which was inherent even during heated debates.  

The forty or so percent of our population who are below forty years of age are charged emotionally and swayed by the rhetoric of the political leaders that, I fear the spread of an increasing spirit of intolerance, animosity, and confrontational attitude.  This spills over to create tension between religious groups and communities. I feel anxious that we are getting divided as a nation emotionally and socially. This is inconsistent with the spirit democracy of a nation.

I have a suggestion. Can we take more peace initiatives! Can we speak, write, and advocate to respect the worth and value of others, although they prescribe a different political or religious ideology. 

This campaign can begin from our pulpits and messages and talks we give on different occasions. 

It is peace and goodwill, which we are committed to as messengengers of the first Christmas story. I wish we have people like, late Brother Roger of Taize' movement, to dissolve human barriers we create and create an instinct for pilgrimage for peace!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)     

     

Gently held

I am at the threshold of the third week since my surgery. What a season of experiencing love, care and support!

I was fully bed bound in the first week, allowed to sit up and walk  assisted in the second week and is moving towards more independence to take care of my essential needs and follow a graded walking schedule during this week.  

I felt surrounded by caring professionals when Anna and children were permitted only to drop in for a few minutes to the intensive care room. Once back in the room from the intensive care, there was more family times of conversations and recollections.That brought coherence to all that happening in the last year, which was a season of upheavals and adjustments.  

I was protected from a preoccupation, 'why did this happen to me', because, I was regularly reminded of the opportunities ahead and the fresh lease of life ahead. There was pain, discomfort and inconveniences. But there was warmth, love, and affection from family and friends. Each of your messages, telephonic enquiries, e-mails contributed to provide the well being we as a family needed.

This is third hospital stay during the last thirty three years, each making a turning point in my life. There is  a sense of clarity and purpose about what lie ahead. There is also a sense of mystery, which sets me on  a journey of waiting and discernment.

This is the thirtieth year, since Anna and I set ourselves apart for a mission with children with neuro-developmental needs. We were to have a thanksgiving service on November 14th, 2013, which was also to be a time to discern the future direction of ASHIRVAD.

As I watched this photograph today, I was touched the way the two hands are held holding. The child lifts her hands and the mother reaches out the receive the hand. The child's hand is secure in the hollow of the mother's hand. The child and the mother hold each other because they belong to each other. All loving relationships have a character of gentleness.

I have been gently held and enabled to hold on...so this season adds much meaning to life.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A new healthy generation!

I noticed this wall poster  during my recent visit, prominently displayed in most parts of the Christian Institute of Health Science and Research, Dimapur in connection with health awareness message. 

I was then reminded of a scene I saw thirty five years back in a village, near Sevagram, Wardha, when some of us were involved in containing a Measles epidemic that was devastating the lives of children.

Outside a hut, a mother was seated with her infant feeding from her breast, while she was trying to make dry 'roti' on an open coal fire with her spare hand. Her two children were sitting next to the fire, one with skin looking brawny and the other having active rash of Measles. Both of them ate with much difficulty small portions of the roti. It was already dusk and cold and her husband had not returned from his work. The mother was waiting for her husband to come with some vegetables for her to cook for the evening meal. 

I found her helpless and resigned to the unfortunate circumstances of poverty, lack of health care access, poor winter clothing for her or her children and dependence on her husband's daily wages to feed the family.

Now thirty five years later, women and children have access to at least fifteen direct health and welfare support and another fifteen indirect benefits from the central and state governments. The focus on women, children and girl children has yielded phenomenal returns. Not that poverty or malnutrition has vanished, but there is a pro-active attitude towards the well being of women and children.

The moral and social thermostat of any nation can be measured by different standards- one standard, according to me, is how a nation values women and children!

I witnessed something of this caring attitude when we used to worship at the St. Andrews Church, Chennai. The Church had a day care centre for children from the slums close by and a women's self employment programme by training them in trade related skills.  

We are making progress, although at a slow pace!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)   

A look that reveals!

One of my interests in photography is  to capture children's face when they are not conscious of being photographed. It is one way, I have been trying to understand the 'look' of children. The look conveys a lot, about the emotional, social and intellectual dimensions of a child.

In the photo of this child, the eyes are alert and gazing at something. The lips are tightly closed and the head is tilted to one side.There is an intense processing of what she  is watching. She is gauging the sight and planning her response. Such a volitional engagement is a sign of an emotionally active child.

It is from an emotional gauging a child conveys a social response. It is difficult to anticipate her considered social response from her look, although it is apparent that she appears comfortable and composed. Most toddlers, who have stable social environment, can sense intimidation, threat or harm. They are equally perceptive of warmth, friendship and cordiality.

Both the emotional and social responses emerge form the intellectual competence of the toddler. When a child can stay focussed on any particular event in the environment for a few seconds, is often advanced in higher order skills of comprehension, processing and association. Such children have an advantage of storing previous informations in their memory and depend on them to interpret new situations later. The visual and auditory perception contribute significantly to the intellectual interpretation. Often past experiences influence this processing.

It is for the above reason, communication with infants and toddlers require a pattern. Parents are under obligation to describe what they would anticipate when they take the child for shopping or a visitor drops into the house. A child needs briefing of situations as much as possible.He or she copes better, when he or she is pre-informed. I know of parents showing the photos of visitors expected for the evening meal or the mall they are to visit in the evening. There is a need for debriefing after the events are over to complement the child for every good behaviour and instruction about behaviours which would need change.  Most children are amenable to gentle correction and reinforcement of  what was desirable.

A toddler looks at his or her environment based on the information provided by parents. Parents can educate children for their emotional, social and intellectual integration.

M.C.Mathew(photo and text)       

A collaborative initiative

On the day I was admitted to the hospital for my recent surgery, the Nurse-in-cahrge brought me some printed hand outs. One of them was on the 'Rights and privileges of a patient'. I read through the two page hand out, which was in fact a summary statement of the good practices, I can expect from the hospital and the treating team.

I felt encouraged by the sections on the right to information, consultative decision making, autonomy of the patient, Standard Operating Procedures, etc. It contained the telephone number of the overseeing professionals whom I can contact in case I felt violated of my personal freedom or access to information. 

There were at least three occasions during the hospital stay, an officer responsible to enforce this patent-freindly approach, visited me to enquire if I had any inconvenience of any sort. 

This to me was a welcome change from the old traditions, when the decision making rested fully with the professional team and the patient was a recipient of what was decided for him. Not that it has changed fully, but some steps in the right direction to include consultation, dialogue and joint decision making are being taken.

The recent regulatory measures by the Indian  Council of Medical Research, Medical Council of India and the Director General of Health services, make it mandatory for health care providers to follow the ethical guidelines in clinical practice, research and training of professionals. 

I remember attending the inauguration of a collaborative initiative of about 12 national organisations to establish the Centre for Bioethics in 2012. Since its inauguration, the initiative has made a long journey to train trainers in this speciality, publish an e-journal, hold training sessions for health care providers on research ethics, reproductive ethics, clinical ethics, beginning and end of life issues, etc. 

I like its emphasis to rely heavily on Biblical ethical foundations, because best ethics is practiced only when we safeguard the dignity, sanctity and reverence of life, for which we have some  valuable foundations in the Bible. Not that, ethics without this foundation is any less valuable; instead health care ethics when practiced with a moral personal beliefs, becomes more inclusive and life-centred. 

Many are the dilemmas in ethical decision making. When I wrote the book, 'Let me live-an alternative to abortion', in 1983, two publishers refused to publish it because of its allegiance to Biblical view of life.

Now that all the Medical Colleges would be bound by the law to have an ethical teaching unit to introduce the foundations to the trainees, it is an opportunity for the Centre for Bioethics to develop its own training programme to train hundreds of medical teachers to communicate ethical values to the students of Medicine.

When we view life as 'created' it enhances the worth and value of life. Let me wish the Centre for Bioethics every blessing!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)   

Acquired behaviour

Most toddlers learn their behaviour from the observations they make or the instructions they receive. 

One useful way of understanding the pattern of such learning, is by observing the play behaviour of toddlers. Play is their natural instinct by then, and most of their play is already conditioned.

Parents or care givers, who take time to play with their toddler children, from the first time they show engaged interest in the toys contribute three valuable insights to their children.

The adults can demonstrate how a toy can be used in different ways. The toy can be used for solo play, make-belief play or for parallel play with a small group of children. 

The toy generates fun and excitement, which is one requirement for a toddler to stay tuned to playing with toys. The peek-a boo, hide and seek, turn taking steps in play, etc are unknown to children until they learn from adults or older siblings. 

The way an adult offers time to play with a toy creates an impression of the value of the toy and how the toys are to be taken care of. There is a value we add to the toy and its useful learning contribution, when as adults,  we use the time to explore it with the child. Most toddlers are imitational by habit and imitate the practices or behaviours of those who spend the most time with them. It may be sometimes demanding for the adults to enter into this form of transactional play with toddlers for lack of time or interest. But there is no substitute to this, as children can be conditioned to what we want them to be socially and behaviourally only through human interactive play behaviour.

When a toddler is unruly in a mall or public place, he or she gets punished or threatened. This is unfortunate because we cannot expect a toddler to behave appropriately unless he or she has been instructed several times to behave in a particular way. Toddlers show more respectful response to gentle human voices and caring behaviour which comforts them. 

Instead if a toddler has more engagement with the TV or computer or video games, we deprive them of the conditioning through human interaction.

Toddlers are most responsive when we give them attention and formulate their actions and reactions. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

From brokenness to Fullness

This canvas of painting is vibrant and rich and uses different colour combinations to tell a story life, through different seasons. This wall hanging drew my attention instantly, when I walked into the room. I cannot recollect the location, or the name of the painter. 

I happened to return to it today, while glancing through the photo gallery. I felt as if I was invited to meditate on the different seasons in my life!

The top part of the painting has vertical interrupted lines and horizontal large blocks of grey and black paint with spaces in between them.There is lot of grey and black in this part with hue of green in between. What is distinct about this portion of the painting is the unfilled spaces making it look fragmented and discontinuous. It is almost suggestive of struggles, pain, scars of suffering, lost time and opportunities.

In the middle portion of the painting, the theme progresses to a richer experience as the colours are brighter, and the brush strokes are more even with fewer unfilled spaces. At least on the left side of the painting, there is a semblance of a water stream that flows downward to create meadow. The golden hue of colours outshines the rest, making it pleasant and coherent  to look at. This is almost the heart of this painting. There is a change in the texture and appeal, as if the painter is sharing a season of peace and well being from his or her own personal life. It is this which becomes continuos with the third part of the painting.

The last part of the painting is a hue of rich green on which the golden yellow sunflowers are painted. Each sunflower is gently different from the other, on close inspection, suggesting how different blessings can bring wholeness to life . It is the recall of fullness of life, the painter seems to have experienced in the latter years of his or her journey. He conveys goodness, fulfilment and hope, through the choice of colours that he uses. The reddish strokes on the right bottom side of the canvas, adds even a celebrant mood. 

Life is a movement from brokenness  to fullness; the stream in the middle portion of the painting is the source of the new life of blessedness, which the painter brings it alive. It is a brilliant way of communicating that, 'it is in God we live, move and have our being'.

It is an effort to behold the journey of life as confluence of seasons and events and view them as formative to bring fullness to our lives. The painter does it most effectively.

In that sense, the painter is truthful about his losses, transformation and the new found joyful fulfilment in life.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)    

Fear and Faith-two realities of humankind..

A colleague came running to my room to say that, one of the four children who came for the play group has already got into the water pool. There was a prolonged discussion among us whether parents and children would be comfortable with water play. So it was with hesitation we included this in the play group activities. The other three children avoided the water play with some exception in between. Their parents attributed this to their 'fear' of water.

On the evening of my surgery two weeks back, I too was overtaken by fear-of anaesthesia, surgical procedure, intubation and ventilatory support, pain, infection, etc. Anna, Amy and Arpit, Aswathy and Anandit, who were with me for most of the evening had sensed it and kept asking me, if I was anxious! I was anxious and fearful. That evening Arpit led us in prayer and one statement in his prayer which remained with me since then was, 'Jesus, you told your disciples, 'fear not' but have 'faith'. That instantly lifted a burden from my heart. Not that, fear did not return, but trusting God had become easier. The next day, while welcoming me to the theatre, the anaesthetist said, 'You look relaxed. All will be well'. 

Faith is both an exercise and an experience. Fear unsettles the ground of faith. Sometimes we invent reasons to stay fearful or anxious. Anandit mentioned to me this morning, 'believe that you will be well'. 

I like and welcome these reminders of God's orientation towards us. A quiet mind and restful spirit are  His gifts. 

Anna mentioned during our recollection time, 'I have had a sense of peace about your health and well being'. Seeing me on the third day in the ICU, Amy had said, 'You look better than I expected'. The next day when Aswathy came visiting, I was reading the morning news paper and she said,'You look well'.

We have a responsibility to build the faith of those who go through difficult times so that it becomes a trusting experience for them. 

God is always immanent; sometimes we need to interpret this reality, by our gestures of affirmation and communication.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)  

   

Opinions and decision making !

I enjoy watching children play skittles, because it is one game where a lot of planning goes into placing the skittles on the ground. One gets only three chances to fell the skittles with a ball, thrown from a three meter distance. So the skittles need to be placed in a particular way that all the ten have some sort of effect on the other, while falling when hit by a ball.

There will be plenty of opinions from onlookers, how the skittles need to be placed, to the extent some opinions are diametrically opposite to the others.

After a while usually one person takes charge and without any more deliberation, places the skittles in an order that seems most suitable. I have sometimes carefully watched the plan and the composure of the person who finally takes charge. He or she is responsible for the decision and the outcome.  

We have the advantage of consultation and discussion to help us arrive at a decision. Some get swayed by the majority opinion or forceful opinions. Some others for fear of failure abdicate the decision to someone else. There are the others who consider each decision making an opportunity to grow in critical thinking and choosing from the options. 

A Surgeon who visited me yesterday told me, that the 'on the spot decision' on the operating table is most crucial and therapeutic that it trains a surgeon to make responsible decisions.  

The woman who had a haemorrhagic disease  for 12 years, took a responsible decision to touch the garment of Jesus of Nazareth, by reaching out to Him in  a crowd. "Jesus turing and seeing her said, Daughter your faith has made you well"( Mathew 9. 22). The public opinion was against her. But she was decisive.

I feel that I am in that stage when I am required to make some responsible decisions to choose another rhythm and pace to my life. Our choices have the prospects of receiving benediction from God of our lives and circumstances.

M.C.Mathew( Texta and photo)            

Another season in my life

This Banyan tree is the immediate sight I have before me while looking out of the room where I stay now temporarily. It stands majestic in the corner of a road leading to the new sunset avenue apartments in the Christian Medical College campus, Vellore 

This tree has history of of 100 years or more, spreading its branches over a wide area giving shade and shelter for many birds during the night. It is well supported in the soil, which is self evident from the picture. 

Tis sight has had a refreshing impact one me. I am currently convalescing after a major surgery and although I feel stronger and better with each passing day, there are times, when wandering and worrying thoughts interrupt my rest.

This tree is well known to survive all seasons and odds. It strengthens itself by its roots that are spread out widely in the soil  reaching out to several meters below the ground.

This tree has become a symbol to me of life in its fullness. 

I felt strengthened by a verse from the book of Psalms 41.3 from the time I was being prepared for surgery two weeks back. 'The Lord will sustain him upon his sickbed; in his illness Thou dost restore him to health'. It became a refrain in my soul, during the stay in the intensive care and hospital ward. I am deeply grateful for the blessings the Bible passages bring to us at times of our personal needs. 

I feel I am awakened to a new level of consciousness of realities of life and the gift of life.

M.C.Mathew(picture and photo)    

  

Teacher's day

Anna and I received some greetings on Teacher's day, 5th September from friends and former students. 

The Teacher's day is annually celebrated to remember late Dr. Radhakrishnan, the second President of Indian Republic. He was an outstanding scholar in philosophy, teacher. statesman, and visionary of higher education in India. In the post-independent India, he articulated the need to create facilities to offer college  education to school leavers. 

Teaching and learning process has changed in in world of information technology. Most people would choose self-directed learning from early in life from the virtual library of information. 

However the fundamentals of learning paradigm would still come from teachers. 

I remember watching these siblings in  the photo in a teaching-learning process. The older sibling was introducing to her brother pictures and their names. I observed five commendable behaviour in their interaction. The older sibling started by asking her brother,' do you want to see some pictures'. In response from her brother, she let him turn the pages and wait for him to ask her to tell the names of the objects in the picture. In between, he started singing a nursery rhyme seeing the picture of a sheep, and the older sibling joined in the singing. Then he moved on to name the parts of the body touching his sister's body. They enjoyed doing this. 

This learning interaction conveyed a process of  openness, enquiry, participation, exploration and application. These are some foundational values in teaching-leaning process. These two children, followed the pattern without having been formally trained into this methodology.

The CHILD to child learning process is one of the most dependable resource at home and school. If only we can give older children a vision of their role as teachers, we would have honoured their natural instincts to be resources for their younger siblings and friends ! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)     

A toy shelf without children

This toy shelf and the aquarium have been in my consultation room for children at ASHIRVAD Chennai, CMC Vellore, PIMS Pondicherrry and now at MOSC, Kolenchery. 

Only one thing has changed in my observation over these years. Yesterday, only one child out of twelve children who visited me explored the toys in the shelf. In the earlier years, almost every child except infants would have directly reached the shelf as soon as they came into the room. Yesterday, some children played with their parent's mobile phone, and others  sat bored in the chair. The parents would have liked them to watch TV or play computer games during that time.

One child accompanied by grand parents who went on to play with the toys, mentioned that they do not have much toys at home. 

I am aware that children's habit, their environment and parenting style have changed. I feel it is a disadvantage for children. 

One parent helped me to understand this complex situation to some extent. How can children stay away from the TV or the computer or the mobile phone when parents spend hours using them! We did not have them till twenty years back. The adult behaviour has changed and so the children's behaviour! In most homes the TV is on most of the day and part of the night.

I pursued conversation with one family about taking time to converse with children about their daily events and happenings at school. They confessed that there is constraint of time. 

Our modern rhythm of living needs revision. We need to create time for the most important link in our lives-communication. Talking is common, but listening is uncommon in family conversations. 

Let me not suggest that we live in the past glorifying it; however let us redefine how we help our children live with good childhood attitudes and practices!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)  

   

  

The same story, told differently

Kenneth, who lived in the middle east for forty years and taught theology, is well versed with the middle eastern traditions and beliefs. He uses that background to understand and articulate the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth.

Kenneth has been considered as a premier cultural interpreter of the life of Jesus. He uses cultural anthropology, skilled exegesis and personal insights to make the gospel come alive. The western view of spirituality and reflections on the life of Jesus need a supplementation from the original settings, where Jesus lived and served.  That is what  Kenneth brings to us in this book.

Having read and mastered Arabic, Kenneth brings a fresh understanding of the parables, miracles, beatitudes, etc. The gospel needed this expansion of understanding from a well studied original text of the teachings of Jesus in the culture they were spoken.

We are used to literal, metaphorical, social and liberational interpretations of the gospel and the teachings of Jesus.  The teachings of Jesus is all of these. That is what Kenneth suggests. The exposition on the Lord's prayer, dramatic actions of Jesus, and the approach of Jesus to women are masterly presented with clarity and preciseness. I like the way he brings new meanings to words and phrases, that I have not come across elsewhere.

It is a book helping us in meditation of the Scripture and the teachings of Jesus. There is an interactive language which is easy to read and carry in our hearts.

Those of us who have travelled in the middle eastern countries would understand some of the cultural inputs which are seminal to grow in reverence and worship for the love with which we are loved by God.    

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)