Joy came visiting

One of the few visitors, staying overnight with us recently at our cottage was Joy Thomas from Brisbane. Anna and and I got to know Joy when he was a student at the Christian Medial College, Vellore in the eighties. Joy moved to Australia about ten years back where he is a specialist in Maternal and foetal medicine. Joy and Grace (they are a Christmas couple) and their three children, Mohit, Vineet, and Roshni have been our close friends with whom we have regular contacts.

Joy came to see us in our new setting at home and work. It was an effort for him to make this trip, as he has had a lot to do during a brief visit to Bangalore to prepare his mother to accompany him to stay with him in Brisbane. Joy bid farewell to his ailing father only three weeks back. His mother was still in a bereaving state.

It was during his visit we realised how the physical inconveniences we have in our cottage least affected him. He made himself comfortable and made us feel at ease. One of the things that we recollect of his visit is the way he took time to listen to how we are adjusting to the new place, job, relationships and attending to the needs of my mother. He had enough space and thoughts for us. 

It was stimulating to listen to Joy, when he gave a talk to the faculty and students at the Medical college, where Anna and I work, on 'Fetal therapy'.It opened our eyes to sense the high technological approach he uses in his work to make the foetal period of babies optimally well by different therapeutic interventions. In spite of the high profile work he does, many commented about his humble and gentle disposition. 

His visit and encouragement meant a lot to us. There were times when we felt bereft of visitors and friends, since coming to live in Kerala. He lifted our spirit and made us feel connected with others. 

Thank you Joy for being a messenger of love and affirmation.

What lasts in relationships is memory and recollections! It will be even better if we can let a friend know how much that friendship means!  

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Breaking the silence

I am glad that it is possible to take time to return to blogging after a gap. There were three pressures that I have had to face during the last six weeks. 

The first was to get our cottage painted before the monsoon season. I decided to try my hand on painting and set out to paint the front of the cottage. An hour or two each day was all that I could find. It was possible to persuade a domestic helper  to learn some basics in painting. I am glad for this. He is now able to continue the painting, although the progress is rather slow.

It was for the first time, Anna and I noticed in 1986, while visiting Peter and Annett Hill's home in Leicester, that it may be possible to decorate one's own home, without external help. They were in the midst of decorating their house and they gave us some tips about it at that time, which became handy during our first attempt.   

The second was the unexpected increase in requests for neuro-developmental consultations from families. As the waiting list got extended to six months, I have had to increase the number of consultations each day. This meant returning home later than 7pm most days. A Paediatrician has joined the team last week, which is a considerable relief. 

The third pressure has been to prepare a project proposal for the expansion of the facilities in the department, such as a hall of residence for the short term stay for children and an Early Learning Centre to welcome pre-school children for neuro-developmental training. 

I got a first hand experience of how mounting pressure can offset good intentions. I found the dislocation of my interests hard to accept in the beginning. But as I got to think about this more, I realised that, this is also an experience worth treasuring. One cannot be always in charge of the circumstances.It is a humbling awareness that even the best of one's efforts won't be enough to hold all things together. I am glad that I was made even more aware of my limitations.

Each of the pressures brought some new insights, discoveries and fulfilment. So whichever way, I look at it, it was a season of some worth while experiences. Dr. Frank Garlick often repeated a phrase, 'In acceptance, there is peace'

M.C.Mahtew (text and photo)