On a rainy day, it was an experience to watch avian behaviour, which indicated how sharing a meal together created an ambience of intimacy between tow Bulbuls.
Both of the birds arrived one after another and occupied two different feeding bowls in the feeding table in our garden.
The photos above till we spot them close to each other happened in about five minutes !
There were pauses between their feeding turns, during which they seemed to be in conversation and silent gestures towards each other as well as connecting with what was around.
The three thoughts that crossed mind while watching this special scened of courtship behaviour between tow birds.
First, they were aware of each other. One drawing factor was the feeding time. They turned that time for communication.
Second, they waited for each other rather than only feed ! There was a mindfulness that was a deeper level to express interest towards each other.
Third, they perched next to each other to share that experience of togetherness. Tis happened just before they flew away in the same direction.
There were occasions to listen to few families yesterday. What was common was the hurry that occupied the ambience of their homes. They seem to convey that sense of hurry to children at home.
We need space and time to grow in awareness towards each other in our homes. The pressure of multiple things to do can easily create a sense of hurry and take away the cheerfulness and delight that out to be the conversational and communicative language between parents and children.
The true heart of parenting is parenting waiting on their children! A waiter in a restaurant is one who serves guests to enjoy their meal.
Children at home look for enjoyable and relational times. The parents create such times!
Parents are formative persons in the lives of children! The parents form the conduct, character, attitude and values of children. This involves a shift from getting them to do many things as chores to drawing near them affectionately and patiently to help children feel loved, valued and affirmed!
The adulthood is a time the parenting roles become central to the calling of parents. There is none who can substitute the parenting roles and functions. It is not what we bequeath to children materially for their future that defines their future as individuals! But what we are to them amidst the daily encounters! I wonder that some parents are driven by their expectations of performances and achievements that they cease to be children but turned into being performers!
It is when parents are intimate to each other, the ambience between them becomes hospitable for children to feel loved and drawn towards the parents!
A couple becomes functionally parents, when the space between them is occupied by children for their formation!
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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